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“Mommy, watch,” you say, as you are making a silly face with your tongue sticking out. That one little phrase “Mommy, watch” is one of my favorites right now. It could be because the way you say it is the cutest thing, but it could also be because dear boy, Mommy’s been watching, and will always be watching.

Son, I’ve been watching you since the day I found out you were growing in my tummy. Every single day, I’d watch my tummy in anticipation of being able to feel you move. And guess what, the day came. And that day went. I watched you grow, and then as the day came, I watched you enter into this world, and I watched you cry for the first time. I watched your every single move, staring in just complete awe.

See, I’d done this before with your sister, however, this time it was different. You were my last, and I wanted to take in every single second. So that’s exactly what I did. And that’s exactly what I still do.

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“Mommy, watch,” as you get ready to go down the slide. Oh, sweet boy, I love watching you. I watched as you rolled over for the first time, crawled for the first time, walked for the first time, ran, and jumped for the first time. All for the first time. I’ve watched you start off a babe and turn into this little boy you are. All around boy. That’s what you are.

I’ve watched you take in this world, and I’ve watched you watch your brother and sisters, wanting to do the same thing they are doing. I’ve watched you, my son.

“Mommy watch,” you say as you are swinging your little plastic golf club. I see you and I’m watching, and I love all of it.

As you grow, there’s going to be all kinds of things for me to watch. Some of those things will be harder than others. Somethings you won’t want me to watch, but I will. I’m your mommythat’s my job.

“Mommy watch,” you say as you pull me in close to show me your game. I love that you are learning, you are so smart.

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As you continue to grow my sweet boy, I will watch. I will watch you walk away on your first day of preschool, and your first day of kindergarten, and through all the sports you decide to doI’ll be there watching as your biggest fan. And eventually, I’ll watch you as you walk across the stage at graduation.

I’ll watch you go through ups, and I’ll watch you go through downs. I’ll watch you become a man, and I’ll watch you become a husband and a daddy. And son, I’ll always be here, loving you, and loving every stage of your life. And one day, my sweet boy, I’ll watch you play with your children as they look at you and say, “Daddy, watch.”

Dedicated to Kyson Lee Ferguson (11/06/2020)

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Amanda Ferguson

Amanda is a mamma of four, beautifully blended. Two girls, Kinsley & Jaylee, and two boys, Jett & Kyson. She is married to her best friend, and love of her life, Shane. Their family may be blended but it is perfectly imperfect. Amanda hopes to be a light to those who have had the same experiences that she has, whether it be the great or the not-so-great. 

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