Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

We’ve all seen the abundance of appreciation posts for moms. The posts that an adult daughter will share with her mother once she becomes a mother herself because she now understands all the dedication and love her mother gave her. We all know these beautiful posts that make your heart yearn for a mother’s love.

Well, not all of us get to share those posts, because we don’t have mothers who are actively involved. They’re very much alive and well, but choose not to be mothers.

I think it’s a wonderful blessing for all the mothers out there treading the waves of motherhood with their own mothers’ guidance, but I wouldn’t know what that’s like.

For those of us treading the waves of motherhood motherless, I see you and I feel it with you.

We don’t realize how much of a blessing it would be to have our mother’s guidance until we start a family of our own.

The day you find out you’re pregnant, the first person you want to call to seek advice about prenatal vitamins, morning sickness, food cravings, etc. is—guess who—your mother. Even if you haven’t had a healthy relationship with your mother in a very long time, the desire for that mother/daughter relationship creeps up on you. You think to yourself, if anyone can give me advice about bringing a child into the world, it should be the person who brought me into the world, right?

Well, no, not for us.

So that leaves you wondering . . . who is going to give me the motherly guidance that I so desperately desire? Who will I call for advice when it’s three o’clock in the morning and my newborn is miserable with colic? When my toddler is chewing on the table legs and pooping in the corner? When my teenager is going through puberty and won’t talk to me? I saw the beautiful blue plus sign on the strip, and I felt the heart-wrenching weight on my chest of having a mother who chooses not to be involved.

The first moment I truly realized and felt that my parenting journey would be motherless, I was in the delivery room having contractions and I didn’t have my mother there to give me advice. Wow, did it hit home that day, let me tell you. It could have easily been the hormones that were on overdrive because I was in labor with my first baby, or it could have just been that most of the mothers I know talk about how their moms were there for them through labor and helped them adjust after the baby went home. It was probably a combination of both of those, but it really hit me in full force that day.

I felt alone and like I had to embark on this new and exciting journey without anyone to guide me.

To give credit where it’s due, though, I have an amazing husband, who is extremely supportive and does what he can to relate, but the one thing he can’t do is be a woman who has experienced motherhood.

Now, the big question is, how do I get past this heartbreak that I won’t ever have a mom for any of my major motherhood milestones? I take it one day at a time.

I do have an incredible mother-in-law (bless her) who is actively involved with my family, which helps ease the pain a bit. I have friends (bless you all) who check in with me frequently because they know I’m treading these waters without a guide. I have an amazing husband (bless you, my love) who reaches out and listens to an endless amount of emotions that he doesn’t relate to, but he listens, so that helps on a major level. Most of all, I have faith that God is guiding me in His direction through my journey of motherhood, and He is the ultimate guide. I get through the heartbreak by surrounding myself with supportive people to fill the void.

If you can relate to this feeling, this punch in the gut feeling of experiencing motherhood without your own mother, then this one’s for you, and I feel the pain with you.

You may also like:

It’s Hard Being a Mom When You Don’t Have Your Own Mother to Lean On

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Libby Pearson

I'm a small-town girl married to a small-town boy, and together we are raising our big-city baby. I get to spend my days at home with our baby and pup. Mommy makes lots of coffee runs and milk is baby's choice of java. We're both running on what we must to survive the day!

Dear Graduate, I Love You Forever

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Kindergarten grad

I never imagined these days of preparing for graduation, senior prom, senior photos, and you actually moving out would come. A few weeks into your life, friends gifted you a 6-month sleeper. I remember the cuddly white footie pajamas well. But I swore you’d never get big enough to wear it. How could this 8-pound human grow to fit into 6-month clothes? Impossible. And then somehow they did fit, and then they didn’t anymore. Just like that. Everyone says the days are long but the years are short. Everyone, that is, who has had a lot of years. When I...

Keep Reading

The Baby I Prayed for Became the Daughter I Needed

In: Motherhood, Teen
Mother and teenage daughter, color photo

It started with pain, doubt, and prayers just moments before they laid you in my waiting arms. The cumulation of months of planning, anticipation, and excitement all ended in a small, brown-haired little doll who we could dress in pink. I quickly handed you over my head to the eager hands of your older sister, who promptly took her spot in the rocking chair, welcoming you into our family. Many nights, I would hear your tiny sounds as you rooted around, waiting for me to pick you up, carry you to that same rocking chair, fill your tummy, and pat...

Keep Reading

I Prayed for These Moments I’m Living with You

In: Motherhood
Little girl smiling on couch

There’s a half-eaten, yellow Dum-Dum sucker stuck in the console of my dashboard, right in front of my gear shift. Every day when I pick my daughter up from daycare, she gets a Dum-Dum sucker from the director as we leave. Once in the car, she usually eats some of it and either puts it upside down in the cup holder of her car seat, or she hands it to me, and I place it in the console until we get home when I can toss it in the trash. This is nothing new. This has been part of our...

Keep Reading

When You Wonder, “Why Do I Even Try?”

In: Motherhood
Weary woman on couch at home

I have thought these words to myself countless times in the past year. With a fresh teenager in seventh grade and a pre-teen in fifth, it has been a year of trial and tribulation I can only imagine compares to the biblical character Job. Okay, so maybe I am a bit dramatic. However, as a hard-working single mother, this year has truly tested me to the point of near torture. And here I am, still standing, in need of copious amounts of caffeine and some serious self-care but still standing nonetheless. I am admittedly (and my sons would agree) not...

Keep Reading

Love Beyond Words

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugging daughter

My daughter Lexi lost her words and some of her motor functioning when she was two years old. She was three when the silent intruder of Rett Syndrome made itself known through seizures. But here’s the heart of our story: even without words, Lexi and I have created our own language—a symphony of unspoken love. She may not call me “Mom” in the traditional sense, but her eyes, her laughter, and the unique sounds she makes speak volumes to my heart. Each day with Lexi is a dance—one where the steps aren’t always clear, and the rhythm can change in...

Keep Reading

Always Choose Adventure

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Two children looking at aquarium exhibit, color photo

Here’s the thing about traveling with little kids. Is it hard? Sometimes. Sometimes it looks like a whole carry-on dedicated solely to snacks, activities, and emergency treats. Sometimes it looks like buying a drink for the passenger next to you as a way of saying sorry and thank you all at the same time for the airplane kid chaos they endured. Sometimes it looks like altering your picture-perfect itinerary that you meticulously planned on account of missed naps finally catching up. Sometimes it looks like washing a car seat off in a hotel shower because your toddler got carsick, then...

Keep Reading

These Family Recipes Feed My Soul

In: Living, Motherhood
Old, messy, recipe book, color photo

There’s a recipe in my cookbook so caked with flour and cinnamon that my mother’s handwriting struggles to be seen. It’s for sweet roll dough, a recipe both my maternal and paternal grandmothers used and passed down. There’s just a difference in how many eggs and flour you choose to use. From this dough, meals that memories are made of take the shape of pizza, cinnamon rolls, Runzas (for us Midwesterners), or simple dinner rolls. For our family, it’s a Sunday night tradition of homemade pizza and a movie and Monday morning cinnamon rolls to start the week. Not much...

Keep Reading

There’s No One Who Gets It Like a Mom Friend

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mom friends in the park with strollers

I made my first mom friend at six weeks postpartum. I was pushing our son in his brand-new stroller not yet stained by sunscreen or covered in cracker crumbs. My husband spotted her first, gesturing to a woman who looked my age pushing a similarly unblemished stroller with the same bleary-eyed look. “Go talk to her,” he encouraged, sensing what I was too tired to realize at the time, which was how badly I needed a friend who understood what I was going through. We hit it off immediately and discovered we lived just seven doors away from each other....

Keep Reading

I Thank God Every Day for These Babies

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother and two children, color photo

You know that saying, “All of God’s grace in one tiny face”? Growing up, I never understood the meaning behind it. I thought it was overused, cliche even. I mean, of course, babies are adorable, but I never fully grasped the concept of the saying. That is until I became a mother myself. Everyone has a different journey to entering motherhood. Mine, in particular, was unique, to say the least. All my life, I couldn’t wait to have kids of my own. Yes, even when I was a kid myself, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God’s...

Keep Reading

Daddy, Am I Beautiful?

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Daddy holding preschool-aged daughter, color photo

“Daddy, do I look beautiful?” I heard my daughter ask my husband from the other room. I barely heard what she said as I was in the kitchen washing the dishes, but her words struck a chord in my heart. My sweet girl, all dressed to go out, asked for her Daddy’s assurance that she was beautiful, that she was admired and special. It hit me in that moment: this pure and built-in desire we all have to be loved, admired, and wanted. Just as my sweet girl wanted her Daddy’s approval and assurance of love, I so often cry...

Keep Reading