Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

I grew up in a house that was always tidy. All the families we spent time with seemed to have clean homes as well. I thought that’s just how it went; I figured everyone grew up in a house like this.

Once I started babysitting, I realized that not every parent kept a clean house. My naïve, teenage self promised that I would never let my house be messy. Surely if I taught my children how to clean up for themselves, we could keep our house clean. I would just train them, much like the parents I babysat for sleep trained, but instead of sleep, I would train my kids to do chores.

HA! So here I am now. Two kids. Messy house. Messy house all the time. It NEVER seems to get completely clean.

And to be honest, it is a great source of anxiety for me. I WANT to have a clean house. I want my kitchen to sparkle and the beds to be made each morning. I want my floors swept and shelves dusted. However, I also love being a present mommy to my kids. I live in a constant state of “should I be cleaning or should I play and snuggle?” Usually play and snuggle wins out, I play with my kids but am distracted by the guilt of chores left undone. My kitchen stays messy and my laundry piles up. Laundry, so much laundry everywhere. I don’t know how four humans can produce so much laundry.

I try to look at the mess and thank God that we are able to have clothes. Or thank God we have food and therefore dishes. But the guilt still seeps in. My family deserves a house that looks nice. I should do better. My house should be clean. Why can’t I keep it clean?

There are just not enough hours in the day. Especially considering whenever I do straighten up, it takes about 30 minutes for the house to look trashed again.

I’m guessing I am not the only woman to feel this way. Do you sometimes find your worth in your home? Do you measure the success of your day by the number of completed loads of laundry? Do you go to bed feeling disappointed in what you didn’t get done?

Today,  I have decided it’s time to stop feeling guilty. I am done letting my house rule me. Yes, it’s important to have a nice home. Yes, when I have some free time I will work on chores. But I need to enjoy my time with my kids and my kids need to feel like my priority. They will not feel like a priority if mommy is always multitasking while spending time with them.

We are more than our housekeeping skills. Instead of measuring our success by the chores completed, let’s evaluate how we treat our family. Rather than count how many loads of laundry we folded, let’s count how many times we hugged our children. Instead of giving our children part of us while we try to get work done, let’s set aside time just for our little ones. Let’s allow ourselves to savor this time.

Someday we will be caught up on laundry. The carpet will show clean vacuum lines for more than 2 minutes. The dishes will be washed and the counters clear.

Our children are only little for so long. I don’t want to look back in twenty years and wish that I would have spent more quality time with them.

Tonight, when I go to bed, I’ll let myself reflect on the joy of time with my children and I’ll give myself grace on all that was not accomplished.

And tired, weary mama, I hope you can do the same. You are more than the tidiness of your home.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Christiana Whallon

I am a wife and a stay at home mommy to three beautiful children, two on earth and one in Heaven. I love traveling, cooking, and being in nature. You can read more about our daughter, Jaylee Hope, and help us celebrate her memory at https://www.facebook.com/JayleesJourneyofHope

Dear Daughter, It’s Okay If You Hate Me Right Now

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking up at mother

Dear daughter: I’ve heard it from you a thousand times when you don’t get your way. You yell it when your force of will doesn’t bend mine, thinking it will convince me to give in. But I’m here to tell you once and for all: I don’t care if you hate me right now. Last night you hated me because I made you take a bath before bed. This morning, it was because I made you wear pants. I’m the worst mom ever because I told you to eat a vegetable, and the whole day is ruined because I won’t...

Keep Reading

You’re Learning Life by Watching Me

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child touching mother's face as they lie on a bed

Every morning my daughter and I go outside for some fresh air. She feeds her chickens and plays and explores and walks around with her dog while I follow her around and have a cup of coffee.  This morning, my girl grabbed one of her coffee cups from her toy kitchen and brought it outside with her while she walked with her dog and pretended to take sips out of it.  Guys. I stood there watching her with her toy coffee cup, walking around with her animals, and I cried giant baby tears.  RELATED: I Wasn’t Counting On You Growing...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Love Means Slowing Down

In: Friendship, Kids
Two boys on bicycles riding to park, shown from behind

Think of something faster than a 7-year-old boy on a two-wheel bike. Maybe a race car at the drop of the checkered flag? Perhaps a rocket ship blasting into space? Or how quickly a toddler mom books it out of the house after being told she can have a hands-free hour ALONE in Target. Yes, all of these things are seriously speedy, but I have still never seen anything quite as quick as a boy on a bike on a sunny day with endless open track ahead of him. Until today. Today, my 6-year-old son wanted to ride bikes with...

Keep Reading

3 Ways to Help Your Firstborn Embrace Becoming a Big Brother

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Pregnant woman holding toddler son, color photo

My oldest son turned four right after his first brother was born. Four years of alone time with his parents. Four years of extra mommy time during the week. Four years of having toys to himself, extra attention from family members, and more. I didn’t plan a four-year age gap; it took our family a lot longer and a lot more help than we expected to have our second son, but age gaps aren’t everything. When my second son was finally on the way, I heard a lot of opinions about how our oldest son would feel once he finally...

Keep Reading

I Am a Wrestling Mom

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three young boys with wrestling medals, color photo

As the sun is rising on a frigid winter morning, a brave and determined group of athletes are weighing in at a high school gym. They are physically and mentally preparing for a long day spent at a tournament where they will spend only minutes wrestling, despite the hours they sit and wait all day. Their sport uses offense, defense, and mental strength unlike any other sport. My sons and nephew are wrestlers. They are part of a special team of athletes who work together but compete as individuals.           Their youth team is run by all volunteer coaches with...

Keep Reading

Dear Busy Sports Mom: It’s Worth It

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Mom watching soccer game, photo from behind

My daughter stands on the front porch every morning and waves goodbye to me as I pull out of the driveway to go to work.  She is 11, and recently eye-rolling, long sighs, and tears have become more commonplace in our daily interactions. But, there is also this: “Bye! Have a good day!” she calls to me in the quiet of early morning, neighbors not yet awake in their still dark houses. “You are AMAZING! You got this!” she continues in her little adult voice, sounding more like a soccer mom than a fifth grader.   Her hair is still a...

Keep Reading

Goodbye to the Baby Hangers

In: Kids, Motherhood
Shirt hanging from small hanger, color photo

You bought them when you first found out you were pregnant. It may have been one of the first items, actually, to hold all of the precious new clothes. The smallest ones in your household. Do you remember that first newborn onesie you bought? It was one of your favorites. You couldn’t fathom you would soon hold something so small that would fit into that onesie. You washed all of the new clothing in preparation and hung them up in your baby’s closet. You know the item. A miniature version of the ones in your closet. Baby hangers. “Do we...

Keep Reading

Take the Trip, You Won’t Regret It

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood

Two years ago, in the middle of a snowy, windy, Colorado March, my husband and I made the spontaneous decision to road trip to Arizona with our three very young kids.  Even though I was excited, the nerves were so very real. Over the next couple of weeks, I literally lost sleep worrying about the logistics of our trip. My late-night mindless scrolling was replaced by searches like “traveling with toddlers” and “keeping kids entertained on road trips”. We already had our hands full chasing kids at home in a familiar setting. Were we crazy to think we could just...

Keep Reading

They’ll Remember the Love Most of All

In: Kids, Motherhood
Woman with kids from above, pregnant mother with kids hands on belly

You lie in bed at the end of a long day, the events of the day flashing back through your mind. You do this a lot—recap your day as a mama. How did you do? Did you maintain your patience? Did you play enough? Did you limit screen time? Did you yell less today than you did yesterday? You saw a really neat toddler activity in the group you’re a part of on Facebook . . . you should have done that with the kids. They would have loved it. There wasn’t enough time though, and you didn’t have all...

Keep Reading

He’s Slowly Walking Away with Footprints As Big As Mine

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Teen boy walking along beach shore

The true measure of a mother’s love is her willingness to wake up before the sun on vacation. On a recent trip to the shore, my youngest son begged to walk the beach at dawn to look for shells. So, I set my alarm, tumbled out of a warm, king-sized bed with extra squishy pillows, glared at my dead-to-the-world husband, and gently woke my 11-year-old. Without so much as a drop of coffee, we headed out into the morning, the sun still below the ocean horizon. With each step, I shed my zombie-like state and took in the quiet, salt-kissed...

Keep Reading