Why is it So Hard To Ask For Help?

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it highlights your deepest strength.

Let’s see if this sounds familiar to any of you . . . 

A few months ago, I was at the vet with my two dogs and two kids. I sat there struggling—I was trying to keep two dogs back from trying to greet all the other dogs in the room. I had my autistic son in between my legs keeping him from collapsing on the floor and stopping him from running free. I had the dog’s paperwork in one hand being juggled and occasionally falling on the floor. My daughter kept asking me a million questions about what was going to happen next. I had my purse hanging off my shoulder about to fall at any moment. I was sweating and stressed.

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Then this nice lady who looked concerned asked me if I needed help. Of course, I responded with, “No, thank you, I am OK.” 

Why is it so hard for us to accept or ask each other for help?

Is it pride? Is it because we’re worried we’ll be judged? Is it because we’re ashamed we can’t do it alone? For me, I think it’s a little bit of each. 

For the longest time, I thought I could handle it all on my own. I was determined to not ask for help or accept help. But as the years go by, I realize that asking for help isn’t showing weakness, it’s showing my deepest strength in knowing I need help.

See . . . Kyle, my son, takes a lot of my time and effort. If I didn’t ask for help sometimes, then the rest of my family would lose out. Morgan wouldn’t have any mommy time. My husband would get zero attention from me because I would be too tired. I would be exhausted and that isn’t fair to my family or myself. 

Self-care is one of the hardest things to accomplish for oneself. You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t let others help you.

One of the most empowering things I have done for myself is getting used to asking for help when I really need it. 

It didn’t come easy. Like many new mothers, I was under the assumption I was just supposed to know how to do this 24-hour-a-day job on the first try. I felt like I was supposed to do it all—work a 40 hour a week job and then come home to clean, cook, and take care of my family.

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I have found asking for help has made me a happier person and in return, allows me to give more of my heart and attention to my family when it is needed most.

So, it’s time . . .

Stop being afraid to ask someone to hold the door.

Stop being afraid to ask someone to help you carry something.

Stop saying “no thanks” when someone offers to watch your child for a little bit so you can get things done.

Stop thinking you have to do it ALL!

Say yes to help.

You matter, too.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page