Gifts for Dad ➔

I’m behind in the world of movie watching, so we finally rented A Star is Born this weekend.

With tears still streaming down my cheek from feeling Allie’s heartbreak over Jackson, I checked Facebook and saw I had just missed Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper performing a moving duet of their award-winning song “Shallow” at the Oscars.

As I watched the video, I scanned the comments:

“What chemistry!”
“When will she become Lady Cooper?”
“He should leave his wife!”
“But he’s not married. They just live together and have a child.”
“I want them to be a couple!”
“I thought they were going to kiss!”
“The CHEMISTRY!”

And then the memes started showing up:

Bradley Cooper is 100% sleeping on the couch tonight.

Look at her hand. She already felt herself getting pregnant.

What has happened to our society? There is chemistry definitely, but that is a biological reaction, not love. According to a Harvard article, “High levels of dopamine and a related hormone norepinephrine are released during attraction.” This is a response similar to how adrenaline is released during a fight or flight situation.

This is not love.

Love is picking up his underwear daily even though you asked him to put them in the hamper.

Love is holding her hair while she has morning sickness.

Love is rearranging schedules so someone can take care of your baby.

Love is putting your partner’s needs and wants above your own. Love means being supportive of your man, even when it means sitting in the front row watching him sing a duet with a beautiful woman with whom he has “chemistry”.

And these two people are actors. This was not a duet between Allie and Jackson. It was a woman nominated for her acting ability and a man who has won multiple acting awards.

So maybe they do have chemistry. Or maybe, like Katniss and Peeta, their Haymitch told them to play the part even when the game was over. It doesn’t matter. Even real chemistry isn’t real love. I’m rooting for Irina Shayk, Bradley’s girlfriend of four years and mother of his daughter. I’m voting for love, not chemistry.

Kristi Bose

Kristi Bose teaches English and drama at Southern Valley High School in South Central Nebraska. She and her husband Michael have four boys ages four to fifteen. They live in the country where they raise show pigs, a small cattle herd, and a few goats. She enjoys fishing in the river behind their house, reading, traveling and spending time with her family.

I Was 16 with Nowhere to Turn

In: Living
Teen walking down road in sunlight

Trigger Warning: This post discusses teen suicide. If you or someone you know is thinking about harming themself, please call the 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 As an adolescent, I was trapped in two bad relationships: the one between my parents, and the one between my conflicted selves. Self number one (as I thought of her) desperately wanted to succeed in school, but self number two sabotaged all her efforts.  I might have been able to run away from my parents, but how on earth was I going to escape my selves? My parents and teachers acknowledged only a...

Keep Reading

Find the People Who Will Root for You

In: Friendship, Kids, Motherhood
Empty sports field, color photo

My son participated in tryouts out for a new travel soccer team at the end of a recreational fall soccer season one chilly evening in November. He has been playing recreational soccer since he was three years old when we started with the local club. He has been asking about joining a travel team since kindergarten. In recent seasons, I watched him struggle in the recreational league. I watched him wanting a little bit more in the sport as he developed his passion—he was ready to grow.  We knew he loved soccer, and it was something he had always wanted...

Keep Reading

An EF-3 Tornado Hit My Small Town. What It Can Teach Us about Strength.

In: Living
Tornado warning in Michigan town

It didn’t seem like a bad storm. In fact, I thought it would miss us. And I was a little bummed, to be honest. Because I love a good storm.  My 6-year-old son and I stood at the sliding door, listening as thunder roared in the distance. The sky started to light up, as droplets of rain began to hit us through the screen door. Suddenly a streak of lightning hit the ground in the near distance. Followed by another.  Maybe this storm won’t miss us after all.  We shut the door as the wind seemed to pick up. The...

Keep Reading

I Know My Friends Aren’t Bothered by My Messy House, but I Am

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Sad woman by laundry pile

My house screams at me. It screams to clear off the kitchen counters, to put away the clean clothes, to organize the shoe collection in our entry, to gather up the scattered toys, to sweep the crumbs up, to place the throw pillows back on the couch, to clean off the table—you get the idea. Everything in my sight speaks volumes to the state it does not want to be in, for the chaos it is imposing.  Keeping home is a labor of love and never of balance for me. Everything that is cleaned, made, or organized will always get...

Keep Reading

A Medical Diagnosis Challenges a Marriage

In: Cancer, Living, Marriage
Bald woman holding clippers over husband's head, color photo

It is no secret now that Albert Pujols and his wife have announced their divorce shortly after she had surgery to remove a brain tumor. As a breast cancer survivor, this news hit me in a special way. As I was reading through an article from Today, there was a quote that hit me hard, “But a marriage falling apart is far more common when the wife is the patient, researchers have found. A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is...

Keep Reading

You Are So Much More than the Doubts in Your Head

In: Living, Motherhood
Little girl looking out window, color photo

Keep pushing. Push through every doubt the enemy instills in your mind.  Push through the depression. Push through the worrisome moments. Push through that anxiety that won’t let you win.  You’ve got to keep going. Keep moving forward.  You are a great mother. You are a great wife. You are a great employee and an even better friend.  RELATED: Struggling With Mental Health Makes You a Bad Mom—And Other Lies I’ve Believed Don’t get stuck in the same spot that depression has led you and those thoughts that say you aren’t good enough or worthy enough.  You are.  God says...

Keep Reading

I Will Live For You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

“I would die for my child, ”a well-known, often said sacrificial statement. I didn’t really know how my fierce love for my child would manifest until the first time she was extremely upset, and I didn’t know why.  Readers, I would have cut off a finger to console my baby.  I would die to protect her.  Both are strong, love-filled sentiments. And both, God willing, are unnecessary.  But there’s a daunting task that is absolutely necessary. At times it needs to be a conscious decision. Sometimes it’ll require taking care of yourself so you can better care for your child....

Keep Reading

Don’t Write Off How Far You’ve Come

In: Living
Woman smiling

Tonight when the demons in my head want to take over, I’m reminding myself that I am amazing, and I have accomplished things I dreamt about for years. I graduated from college. I have a B.A. in psychology. Other people had that. Not me. But now I do. I’m getting my Master’s degree in social work. I am a published writer. Yes, my brain and other people are tearing me down and screaming at me that I can’t do anything right. But the evidence? The evidence is that I have survived 16 years of special needs parenting. And that is...

Keep Reading

Dear Girl, Give Jesus Your Mess

In: Faith, Living
Woman holding Bible, color photo

Oh, dear girl, Give Jesus the mess. Your mess. The mess you think is too much or too big or too unbearable. The depths of the mess. The very worst of the mess. Lay it at His feet. He knew you long before the mess existed. Nobody knows your mess like Jesus. I assure you—this will not catch Him by surprise. Even when you do not understand, even when it is most difficult, even when you have your head buried in your hands. Praise Him, for God wastes nothing.  Even when it feels like opposition is coming at you from...

Keep Reading

Friends Can Be a Sanctuary

In: Friendship, Grief
Group of friends hugging

A sanctuary is defined as anywhere people go for peaceful tranquility or introspection. My friends became my sanctuary when my husband, Frank, died. They became my refuge and my safe place. Friendship is one of the most wonderful gifts in this world. It is beautiful, comforting, ever-changing, and, for me, a fixed point.  My friends seemed to know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Their love and constant support got me through the worst of times and gave me the courage and confidence I needed to move forward.  I could never give an adequate thank you to...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections