Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Dear mom on the Zoom call,

I see you.

And not just in the “I see you because I am you” kind of way. I see you in the very real see you right there on my screen kind of way.

I see the oversized luggage under your eyes because you were up late last night trying to fit in the work that didn’t happen between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.

I see the toddler wriggling on your lap everyone is oohing and ahhing over while you are attempting to maintain some semblance of professionalism and contribute to the conversation.

I see the side glances you are taking towards the door because you are trying to will your children to stop yelling about juice boxes since it will be your turn to speak soon and come off mute.

RELATED: This is Why Working Moms Are Stressed

I see you trying your absolute best while wondering how much longer you can keep this up. I know you are because I am, too​.

This isn’t easy, friends. It’s just not.

There are silver linings of course. The small ones and the big ones.

When you work from home with kids there is no commute to deal with, plus you can rock the business on the top/PJs on the bottom look and no one is the wiser. You don’t need to pack a lunch the night before, you can throw a load of laundry in at 11 a.m. instead of 11 p.m., and you can occasionally work from the comfort of your bed.​

Then, of course, the big silver linings. The huge silver linings. Like the safety of your home, the health of your family, and the extra time with the people in this world you love the most. 

But it’s still hard. And it’s OK to say it’s hard.

RELATED: I’m An Exhausted Working Mom and I’m Trying Harder Than You Know

Because right before you hopped on this Zoom call, in fact, 37 seconds before you hopped on this Zoom call, you were teaching letters to a preschooler or getting syrup out of a child’s hair. Or you were unsuccessfully trying to get Netflix to turn on faster, or refereeing a fight about straws.

And as soon as you get off this Zoom call, you are going to talk to your children again about what a closed office/bedroom/bathroom door means. You’ll feel bad about how strange this situation is for them, and feel guilty for getting frustrated.​

But on top of all that you’ll still need to follow up on what Sally said during that meeting because you’re pretty sure you’re supposed to be sending her an email? You couldn’t hear because someone not on this Zoom call invite was loudly announcing they had to pee.

It might feel like empty platitudes for me to tell you you’re doing a great job through all of this.

Sometimes you are going to feel like you’re doing a great job as a master juggler of all the things and other times you are going to feel like a human trash receptacle at the end of the day. A lady on the internet telling you you’re great isn’t going to change that.

RELATED: You Have Enough On Your Plate Right Now Mama, Don’t Add Guilt

For what it’s worth though, I do think we are all doing the very best we can in a trying situation. And if you and I are on a Zoom call together later today, I might try to give you an awkward wink of solidarity. Which everyone else will see because this is Zoom and not an in-person meeting so I will have just made things really weird.​

But that wink will still be worth it because you will feel seen, and everyone else will be judging me while you manage to scurry the small child not wearing pants out of the room undetected.

I suppose that’s the other silver lining.​

We’re all in this together.

Originally published on the author’s blog

Being a working mom is like running a never-ending marathon. We love the practical strategies in Stretched Too Thin for empowering working moms to get the most out of life. Don’t have time to sit and read? Listen here, on Audible.

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Becca Carnahan

Becca Carnahan is career coach, author, and mom from Massachusetts. Her writing combines funny and relatable parenting stories with career advice to make the whole process of finding or creating a career you love a lot more fun. Sign up for her weekly working mom newsletter at withlovebecca.com.

I Come Alive at Christmas

In: Motherhood
Kitchen decorated for Christmas

It’s time again. Time for the lights and the trees and candy canes and tiny porcelain village homes. It’s time to shake off all that this year has thrown at me and come alive again. My favorite time of year is here and it’s time to make some magic. My mom started the magic of Christmas for me when I was little, and I was infatuated with the joy that it brought to so many people. Loved ones come together and everything sparkles and people who don’t normally come to church are willing to join us in the pews. Everything...

Keep Reading

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

Connecting with My Teen Son Will Always Be Worth the Wait

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy standing near lamppost, color photo

So much of parenting teens is just waiting around, whether it’s in the car picking them up, reading in waiting rooms now that they are old enough to visit the dentist alone, and quite honestly, a lot of sitting around at home while they cocoon in their rooms or spend hours FaceTiming friends. Sure, you have your own life. You work, run a household, have your own friends, and plan solo adventures to show your teen that you’re not just waiting around for them all the time. That you are cool with them not needing you so much. But deep...

Keep Reading

This Is Why Moms Ask for Experience Gifts

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter under Christmas lights wearing red sweaters

When a mama asks for experience gifts for her kids for Christmas, please don’t take it as she’s ungrateful or a Scrooge. She appreciates the love her children get, she really does. But she’s tired. She’s tired of the endless number of toys that sit in the bottom of a toy bin and never see the light of day. She’s tired of tripping over the hundreds of LEGOs and reminding her son to pick them up so the baby doesn’t find them and choke. She’s tired of having four Elsa dolls (we have baby Elsa, Barbie Elsa, a mini Elsa,...

Keep Reading

6 Things You Can Do Now to Help Kids Remember Their Grandparents

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Motherhood
Grandfather dances with granddaughter in kitchen

A month ago, my mom unexpectedly passed away. She was a vibrant 62-year-old grandma to my 4-year-old son who regularly exercised and ate healthy. Sure, she had some health scares—breast cancer and two previous brain aneurysms that had been operated on successfully—but we never expected her to never come home after her second surgery on a brain aneurysm. It has been devastating, to say the least, and as I comb through pictures and videos, I have gathered some tips for other parents of young kids to do right now in case the unexpected happens, and you’re left scrambling to never...

Keep Reading

To the Parents Who Coach: Thank You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with young son in soccer uniform, color photo

I always planned on being an involved parent, whatever that would mean. Never an athlete, always athletic, I joined the swim team in high school, taught swim lessons for spending money as a college freshman, played intramural soccer at 10 p.m. on weeknights on a college team with a ridiculous name. Later, mama to only one baby, finding extra dollars wherever I could, I coached track. And then, my own babies really started to play sports. I promised myself I would volunteer as possible, but something always stood in the way, and all I could manage was to get my...

Keep Reading

I’m Leaning into Kintsugi Parenting

In: Motherhood
Mom hugs little girl with pigtails

My 5-year-old daughter whimpers in the darkness. “I am putting the baby down,” I whisper, the rocking chair creaking. “You need to go with Dad.” Even in the dark, I can make out the stubborn, I’m-not-going-anywhere look. Call it defiance. Call it deep attachment to me. All I know is that to be so openly disobeyed makes me run a gauntlet of emotions. First, I feel irked that she’ll wake up the baby, but that’s the surface-level stuff. What really gets to me is the fear—am I doing a bad job because my kid won’t readily “obey”? Have I failed...

Keep Reading

A C-Section Mom Simply Needs You to Hear Her Story

In: Baby, Motherhood
Newborn baby crying in doctor's hands

As an expecting mother, I was told all about the sleepless nights. People made sure to give their opinion on whether I should bottle feed, breastfeed, or exclusively pump. I was told which swaddle to buy, which sound machine worked best, and when to introduce a pacifier. They told me about sleep training but that it really didn’t matter because I wouldn’t get any sleep anyway. Whenever I would mention how scared I was to give birth, I’d always get the same response: oh. honey, don’t worry, your body will know what to do. I remember listening to calming meditations...

Keep Reading

Feed Them—and Other Ways To Help NICU Parents

In: Baby, Motherhood
Parents holding hands of premature baby in NICU

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about our reality as NICU parents to a healthy, brilliant NICU graduate. Our child was born very prematurely and spent weeks in the NICU so he could grow and stabilize. My first experience as a mother of a baby was shattered in so many ways. Trauma still lingers, but I am so grateful for all I have learned from our time beside our little baby in his isolette bed. One thing I learned was that some people who really want to help support NICU parents really don’t know how they can. Here are some...

Keep Reading