To the Woman Who Feels Like She Doesn’t Fit in

“I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

Trying to navigate where you belong in this world can be daunting. For me, it began when I was in the fifth grade and the hierarchy of cliques was being established. A group of girls, the very cool ones, was already dealing in bras and boobs and boys. I remember being involved in the hallway conversation one day with these girls talking about bras and boobs and boys and I had nothing to say. I didn’t have any of those things and didn’t care until now, when the lack of common ground made me feel so insecure and out of place. I didn’t make the cool cut that day. I felt like I wasn’t cut out for being cool every day since up until . . . well up until now.

As an adult, a wife, a mother, a Christian, whatever group of women I might find myself hanging with, there are still these kind of moments. I’m not the same wife as they are, I’m not as good of a homemaker as them, I don’t speak the same, dress the same, whatever, you name it. It still tends to happen and I still deal with the same feeling of “I don’t fit in so I’m not cut out for this” as an adult, and I’m guessing some of you do, too. Maybe not every day but most certainly periodically. Cliques are still established even as adults and when you feel different it is so easy to let all the little foxes in your mind tell you “you don’t belong here, you aren’t cut out for this”. 

To all my women who have never “fit”—

To all the women whose minds try to hammer in the idea that they aren’t cut out for whatever they’re doing—

To all you women who don’t belong to cliques—

You are so strong and powerful. You are an individual who is unique and who doesn’t change accordingly just to fit in somewhere. That is a rarity. YOU are a rarity. When you feel insecure for not fitting, don’t let the mind foxes and their “you’re not cut out for this” repetition win. Their goal is to make you feel insecure. 

So how do we, together, overcome this overpopulation of foxes telling us what we’re not? 

By telling them who we ARE. 

“I am loved by Jesus, first of all. I am unique and I don’t water myself down to fit in. I have a purpose that requires me to be exactly who I am. I have business to attend to and I don’t have time for fitting in games. I AM good enough, actually, and I AM cut out for this. My friends, my real friends, love me for who I am AND who I’m not. I am so blessed and I live in God’s favor.”

By reminding your friends of who they ARE. 

We can find security when we’re OK with not being like everyone else. Security is in knowing we are exactly how God made us and can embrace our unique identities. Sometimes it is better to stand alone for a time than it is to water yourself down to fit in with others. This isn’t saying I will never feel not cut out for something again, because I will. And you will, too. But we don’t have to stay there listening to all the foxes. 

You and me, we were cut out PERFECTLY for this.

Originally published on the author’s blog

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Articles by Edith Runion

Edith Runion

Edith Runion is a woman who knows what it takes to live out a re-birth in Christ. She is a wife and mother in the midst of a very big and blended family. She loves Jesus and her drive is to see women empowered to be authentic and live a life full of Grace and second chances.

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