I wish you knew.

I wish you knew that when I look into your eyes, everything comes to life.

That sometimes all I need is to hear your voice.

That when you hold me against your chest, it feels like home.

That I cry for you in the night because I simply can’t stand to not be close to you.

That when you can’t seem to calm me, it’s only because you’re my safe space.

Because you are my whole world.

And I know that sometimes I exhaust you.

And frustrate you.

And confuse you.

And overwhelm you.

And all of it—it’s a lot.

It’s not for the faint of heart, caring for me.

But that giggle I just let out? That’s because you make me burst with joy.

That coo as I snuggle into you? That’s because I’ve never felt more secure.

That cry for you in the dead of night? That’s because being held by you is all I’ve ever known.

So I wish I could tell you.

I wish I could tell you that I’m so grateful for you and all that you do.

That one day it won’t be like this, so let’s cherish it while we can.

That I don’t know what I’d do without you.

That I’m so blessed to call you mine.

That each day, my love for you only grows.

That everything you do for me—it’s worth it. So worth it.

But I can’t tell you quite yet.

And even once I can, I’ll likely forget that you need to hear it.

So I just want you to know that I’m thankful for you.

It may not come out as those two magic words, but it’s there.

So soak up my smile.

Treasure my hugs and kisses.

Bottle up my laughter.

Hold dear my need for you.

Grasp the significance of my cries for you and only you.

Because each of these things, all of those little, ordinary things that I do—they’re my way of thanking you for this “thankless” job that you do.

And sometimes it might seem like I have a funny way of showing it.

But please, Mama, don’t think of this job as “thankless.”

I do my best to show you each and every day how grateful I am for you.

If only you could see it . . . 

Originally appeared on Kisses From Boys with Krista Ward

 

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Krista Ward

Krista is a former first grade teacher turned stay-at-home mom to her insanely precious little boys, Hudson and Jones. She is married to her best friend and high school sweetheart, Randy, who is the peanut butter to her chocolate. Krista hopes to be a light and joy to the world, especially other mamas feeling stuck in the daily grind, through her writing.