Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

My new normal is 15 pounds heavier. I’m not writing this because I’ve embraced that. I’m writing this because I think it’s time to.

Because here’s the thing: I’m the only one who seems to be bothered by the number on the scale.

My husband doesn’t seem to mind. Quite the opposite, actually. Even after all these years, I still catch him checking me out.

My friends don’t care. Whether we get together for coffee or dinner, or meet up to kayak or walk, my body is healthy enough to do whatever we want to do.

My kids don’t care. My body is size perfect when it comes to hugging, tickling, feet fights, kitchen dance parties, or just cuddling on the couch.

My doctor doesn’t care. She’s never commented on my weight, suggested that it’s an unhealthy number, or encouraged me to lose weight. In fact, she even complimented me on my bloodwork at this year’s checkup.

God doesn’t care. When I grab my jiggly stretched out belly in disgust, I’m pretty sure He sees that slack skin as a beautiful reminder that I carried four of His precious children.

So, it seems that I’m the only one who cares.

And it’s not like I haven’t tried to rid myself of these irksome 15. I’ve tried diets, exercising more, intermittent fasting, tracking my food, and at times I’ve made a dent but I always end up back here.

I’m certainly not the healthiest person I know. I can eat so many Reece’s Pieces in one sitting it’s embarrassing (but delicious!). Some evenings, I drink beer and eat all the kids’ lunch snacks while I catch up on my Netflix. I stopped running entirely. Having said that, I do eat my fruits and veggies and curb the late night Pirate Booty binges when the pants are feeling snug. I don’t run because I don’t enjoy it anymore, so instead, I make time in my schedule for things I do enjoy, like kayaking, playing pickleball, gardening, and walking with my friends.

I pretty much lead the same kind of lifestyle that I did in my 20s and early 30s when my weight would naturally settle 15 lbs lighter than today. But doing the same things today, my weight settles where I am now.

I think this is my new normal. And I want to be OK with that.

I’m tired of being disappointed with myself when I look in the mirror. I’m tired of spending my whole day thinking of food when I’m dieting. Conversely, I’m tired of going to bed at night feeling disgusted with myself because I ate two bags of chips that were meant for lunches.

I don’t exactly know how to start being OK with my new normal, but I know I need to try.

This morning I came across this verse: “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -Samuel 16:7

I think I’ll start there. I’ll remind myself that I am a precious daughter of God, that He created me in His own image, that He doesn’t make crap, that He finds value in my whole being, that He looks to my heart.

If I’m good enough for Him, I should be good enough for me.

You may also like:

Hey Moms, Lose the Weight

You Are More Than Your Postpartum Body

I Am Beautiful and I Am Enough

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Anne Metz

Anne Metz works part time as a freelance writer and spends the other part getting kids off the bus, breaking up fights, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning up after her son and triplet daughters. For fun she enjoys whistling loudly and just slightly off key and eating meals that other people prepare for her. She is passionate about sharing her struggles with mothering to let other moms know they aren't alone in this journey. You can find more of her work on her blog:

God Had Different Plans

In: Faith, Motherhood
Silhouette of family swinging child between two parents

As I sip my twice-reheated coffee holding one baby and watching another run laps around the messy living room, I catch bits and pieces of the Good Morning America news broadcast. My mind drifts off for a second to the dreams I once had of being the one on the screen. Live from New York City with hair and makeup fixed before 6 a.m. I really believed that would be me. I just knew I’d be the one telling the mama with unwashed hair and tired eyes about the world events that happened overnight while she rocked babies and pumped milk....

Keep Reading

This Will Not Last Forever

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman looking at sunset

“This will not last forever,” I wrote those words on the unfinished walls above my daughter’s changing table. For some reason, it got very tiring to change her diapers. Nearly three years later, the words are still there though the changing table no longer is under them. While my house is still unfinished so I occasionally see those words, that stage of changing diapers for her has moved on. She did grow up, and I got a break. Now I do it for her baby brother. I have been reminding myself of the seasons of life again. Everything comes and...

Keep Reading

God Calls Me Flawless

In: Faith, Living
Note hanging on door, color photo

When I look in the mirror, I don’t always like what I see. I tend to focus on every imperfection, every flaw. As I age, more wrinkles naturally appear. And I’ve never been high maintenance, so the gray hairs are becoming more frequent, too. Growing up a lot of negative words were spoken about me: my body, my weight, my hair, my build. Words I’ve somehow carried my whole life. The people who proclaimed them as my truth don’t even remember what they said, I’m sure. But that’s the power of negative words. Sticks and stones may break our bones,...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

This Is Why Moms Ask for Experience Gifts

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter under Christmas lights wearing red sweaters

When a mama asks for experience gifts for her kids for Christmas, please don’t take it as she’s ungrateful or a Scrooge. She appreciates the love her children get, she really does. But she’s tired. She’s tired of the endless number of toys that sit in the bottom of a toy bin and never see the light of day. She’s tired of tripping over the hundreds of LEGOs and reminding her son to pick them up so the baby doesn’t find them and choke. She’s tired of having four Elsa dolls (we have baby Elsa, Barbie Elsa, a mini Elsa,...

Keep Reading

When You Just Don’t Feel Like Christmas

In: Faith, Living
Woman sad looking out a winter window

It’s hard to admit, but some years I have to force myself to decorate for Christmas. Some years the lights look a little dimmer. The garlands feel a bit heavier. And the circumstances of life just aren’t wrapped in a big red bow like I so wish they were. Then comparison creeps in like a fake Facebook friend and I just feel like hiding under the covers and skipping it all. Because I know there’s no way to measure up to the perfect life “out there.” And it all just feels heavier than it used to. Though I feel alone,...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Longing to Become a Mother

In: Faith, Grief, Motherhood
Woman looking at pregnancy test with hand on her head and sad expression

To the woman who is struggling with infertility. To the woman who is staring at another pregnancy test with your flashlight or holding it up in the light, praying so hard that there will be even the faintest line. To the woman whose period showed up right on time. To the woman who is just ready to quit. I don’t know the details of your story. I don’t know what doctors have told you. I don’t know how long you have been trying. I don’t know how many tears you have shed. I don’t know if you have lost a...

Keep Reading

I Was There to Walk My Mother to Heaven

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Hand holding older woman's hand

I prayed to see my momma die. Please don’t click away yet or judge me harshly after five seconds. I prayed to see, to experience, to be in the room, to be a part of every last millisecond of my momma’s final days, final hours, and final moments here on Earth. You see, as a wife of a military man, I have always lived away from my family. I have missed many birthdays, celebrations, dinners, and important things. But my heart couldn’t miss this important moment. I live 12 hours away from the room in the house where my momma...

Keep Reading

God Sent Me to You

In: Faith, Motherhood
Newborn gazing at mother with father smiling down

I was a little unsure As I left God’s warm embrace: What will it be like? What challenges will I face? There were so many questions Running through my mind. I asked around for the answers I was hoping to find. Who will hold me And cuddle me tight? Who will rock me To sleep at night? RELATED: The Newborn Nights Feel As Endless As My Love For You Who will comfort me When I’ve had a rough day? Who will be there To take my worries away? Who will nourish me And make sure I grow? Who will read...

Keep Reading