Okay, so it might be a stretch to say that no one told me the following five things. Five things everyone told me and I just didn’t believe about being a mom until I was one – might be a more accurate description. More accurate, but way longer and not quite as catchy.
Without further ado, here are said 5 things…
You will never pee alone again. Ever.
I truly thought this was a farce. I thought there was no way this could be true. Your kids following you into the bathroom each and every time you have to go? No way could this be true. But folks, I am here to tell you that it is true. It is my reality. It’s like my kids are equipped with this uncanny ability to sense I am about to sneak off to the bathroom. And then – bam! There they are, chatting me up while I’m doing my biz.
You will need to cross your legs each time you laugh or sneeze, and you will never be able to jump on a trampoline in confidence again.
I am pretty sure it was my mother who broke this news to me. And I remember thinking, “haha, yeah right Mom. That’s a good one.” You can imagine my shock the first time I sneezed post having a baby and felt that now familiar if-I-don’t-get-my-legs-crossed-in-time warm trickle… So not cool. I did my Kegels, people! I’ve heard rumors of women who can confidently jump on trampolines, laugh hysterically, and sneeze probably at the same time without the fear of peeing a little. Not gunna lie, I am envious of these fabled women and their extraordinary abilities.
The sound of the word “mom” will eventually bear a strange similarity to that of nails on a chalkboard.
So, this one might actually be legit. I don’t think anyone told me about this. Probably because who wants to admit that the sound of their kids’ voices grate on their nerves? But seriously. When you hear “mom, mama, mommy, mawm!” called out that much even after you’ve responded multiple times, it has a tendency to fray your nerves. I once told my husband that if I had a penny (that’s a penny, not a nickel, dime, dollar or anything larger) for every time I heard “mom”, or some form of it, throughout the day I would be a very wealthy woman.
Your kids will plot against you and run tag team operations to make sure you aren’t going over on your sleep quota.
I made a conscious decision to ignore this little tidbit. I thought for sure my kids would be different because – sleep training. I would train them to sleep through the night at a young age and never wake me from my slumber. It would be as simple as that. Except that it wasn’t. I was sorely mistaken. I mean my kids are pretty exceptional sleepers, but there are some nights that I would swear that they use code to plot against me and keep me up most of the night. All the while their dad sleeps, blissfully unaware of any kid-orchestrated nighttime shenanigans…
Being a mom is the single most frustrating and yet infinitely rewarding thing you will ever do.
I know I heard this one time and time again from a variety of seasoned mamas, but I never-ever in my wildest dreams imagined just how true this would be. I never imagined just how these little people I am raising would frustrate me. And I certainly never predicted just how much I love them or how rewarding this job of being their mom would be. From the first moment my babes were laid on my chest (which in my opinion is the best feeling in the world, and I really was not informed of this beforehand), I felt a love like no other. I felt rewarded by their mere presence. Yes, they now push my buttons daily. But all of those minor aggravations become moot the minute when they smile up at me with big eyes and tell me they love me or when they snuggle up and say, “Mama, can ya hold me?”
Words cannot express just how unbelievably fortunate I feel that I get to be their mother. I thank the good Lord above every. single. day. that He gave me this opportunity to watch them learn, grow, and develop the little personalities that my life would be empty without.
So, what about you? What are somethings that no one told you? Or if you are like me, what are some things everyone told you and you just didn’t believe?