To the Husband Whose Wife Just Had a Miscarriage

Dear husband,

You were there when the pregnancy test showed a beautiful positive mark, and you were there when the devastating, gut-punching news was delivered to you and your wife. You put your arm around your best friend, and whispered in her ear that everything would be OK. You pushed all of your emotions down deep, and carried yourself with sacrificial strength.

And for that, dear husband, I want to thank you for all you have done.

Thank you for being the rock your wife has needed to lean on.

Thank you for going to the store to awkwardly scan the intimates aisle for the over-sized overnight pads, and for getting that extra-large dark chocolate candy bar that she really needed.

Thank you for holding her as she cries, and listening to her emotional words.

Thank you for giving her your comforting words of hope, your constant prayers, and your warm embrace.

Thank you for being patient with her healing process, as it will take some time before she can even think about being intimate, or trying to have another baby.

Thank you for being the man she has needed, as she has physically endured a miscarriage.

Dear husband, if there is any advice I can give to you, it is to let her see you shed a tear. She is dying to know if you feel as devastated as she does, and she needs to see you vulnerable. I get that you are exhibiting your strength as a man, but realize that she is also exhibiting strength in her own way. Tell her how you are really feeling, and grieve together, because a miscarriage is truly a tragedy and should be treated as such.

Dear husband, take your wife out on a date, pamper her, and remind her daily that she is beautiful, because she will need to hear those words. 

But also, dear husband, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Find something to take your mind off of things, because you can’t be strong for her, if you haven’t dealt with things yourself.

Dear husband, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you do.

To the husband of the woman who just had a miscarriage, I deeply empathize with you and your wife, because I, too, just had a miscarriage.

You may also like: 

8 Ways to Serve a Mother Walking Through Miscarriage

To My Husband, As I Grieve Our Miscarriage

A Mother’s Love Can’t Be Measured In Weeks

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