I often get asked, “how did you and your husband find a love like you have?” Or “how do I get a love like yours?” And the answer to that is, you don’t “get” a love like ours. You build it. 

Our relationship over the past almost 10 years has been far from perfect. But, it has taken us a long time to get to where we are now. You don’t find a love like this. You build it. 

It’s taken many years. 

Many tears. 

Many arguments. 

People nowadays want love to be easy. They want it to be like the movies. They want it to be effortless and easy. But it’s not. 

It’s sacrifices, it’s getting so annoyed you don’t want to be around each other sometimes, it’s making up, it’s messy, it’s ugly, and it’s hard. 

But once you get past all of that, it’s so worth it

I don’t want you looking at our cute couples’ pictures thinking we didn’t work for where we are now. Thinking that we didn’t go through hell and back to get where we are now. Because we have. 

Love isn’t what you see in the movies. It’s not meeting the love of your life at a cute little coffee shop, falling in love immediately, and then everything just falling into place. 

Relationships get boring. It happens, usually around the 5-7 year mark. You think because of what you see online, or in the movies, that the person you’re with should never bore you. But that’s wrong. 

They will bore you, they will annoy you. It’s normal. It happens. 

You need to fight through that because the part after that is so amazing. 

Start going on dates again. 

Start getting dressed up for them again, just for fun. 

Start making time for each other again. 

Don’t go looking for a love like mine and my husband’s. Start building one

This post originally appeared on the author’s Facebook page

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Caitlin Fladager

I’m a 25 year old mom to two amazing kids. I’m married to my high school sweetheart. I got pregnant when I was 18, and married when I was 20. I started early on most things in life, but I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I’m an advocate for mental health and self love.