Dear husband, 

I sit here tonight in the dark, quiet of our home. Everyone is asleep but me. These are the best times for me to think. With no distractions, no obligations.

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Tonight, I know I’ve failed as a wife. I’ve let you down, time and time again. Learning to balance being a good employee, mom, friend, and wife has proved to be difficult. Some days I feel it caving in.

And you, my dear, often receive the last and worst part of me. 

But tonight I write this to you because I want you to know . . .

I’m proud of you. I’m proud of your success, accomplishments, and dreams coming true. I’m proud to be seen by your side as your life partner. You’ve come a long way since we’ve been together, and although the road was hard, I’m glad I was there to cheer you on.

I want you to know I admire you.

I admire your confidence, courage, and fearlessness. I admire the work you do. You put others before yourself every daytruly so selfless.

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I want you to know I fear for you every time you leave. It takes a special person to do the work you do. You put your life on the line for everyone, even those who hate you for what they think you are. But you don’t let that get to you. Not everyone could do what you do, and you do it so well. It takes a special person to provide the dedication and service you strive for, and for that, you will always have my respect and adoration.

I want you to know I’m thankful for you. Thankful for the gift of the children you’ve given me, biological and not. Thankful you pour so much love into us even though you witness so much hate and darkness every day. You still spread so much light into our kids, and one day, they’ll be able to express how grateful they are to you as well.

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If “til death do us part” comes too soon, I want you to know it was worth it.

Every high and every low. Every success and every failure. Every struggle, every fight, and every laugh. I know I often fall short. I’m fighting an inner battle within myself I can’t seem to win. 

But I want you to know I love you. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

When you get up to face the world tomorrow, have confidence that you’ll have love when you come home.

Megan J

Megan is a newly working mom, juggling through figuring out the whole career-life-plus police wife balance. A mom of two toddlers plus two bonus teenagers, she's always on the move and surrounded by lots of love. Although, this special way of life brings challenges, she has learned the only way to get through it, is to lean on Christ.