Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

You can be choosey with a spouse and select whomever you want to share your life with; you cannot, however, pick the in-laws you will inherit. You’re not just blending your life with your husband’s, you’re blending families together. Oftentimes people joke about their in-laws, or struggle to mesh during holidays and dread special occasions. I get it, mine couldn’t be different. But nonetheless, I did get lucky.

I married a man who is a carbon copy of his father.

I owe my father-in-law a tremendous thank you for raising the man he did.

I met Danny, my father-in-law when my husband and I started dating. We didn’t cross paths too frequently, and when we did, Danny was a man of very few words.  I’m an anxious human being, so I was left to wonder, “Does he like me?” My husband had been divorced before, and I know Danny was on high alert with his paternal instincts watching out for his son. Although quiet, he was remarkably welcoming. I never walked into his home nervous, and I was able to be my true self.

RELATED: So God Made My Father-in-Law

The more I watched him the more I saw how patient he was. The more I got to know him, I learned how much he loved his wife and truly saw and appreciated all she brought to the family. He embraced and adopted her son, and has SIX children who adore him and are eternally grateful for a stable upbringing filled with happy memories.

And the more I grew to know my husband, the more I saw his father in him.

Dad and grown son

My husband can fix anything. He’s a soldier and computer whiz, but he can find a way to save a dollar and repair things himself. He takes apart cars for fun, builds beautiful home furnishings with his own two hands, and is truly a craftsman. He is quick to offer a helping hand to those in need, and is incredibly laid back (thank goodness, because I’m high strung).

RELATED: The (Really Simple) Secret To Getting Along With Your In-Laws

At our wedding, I watched as my husband danced with his mom and stepmom, and the tears that filled their eyes. I also watched his father, full of pride and happy tears, quietly in the back of the room support our special day smiling to his son from afar. As I said, he’s a man of few words. But when he does speak, he pours his heart into his words and opens up. My husband is the same. He doesn’t tell me much, but he doesn’t have to. You just know. You just feel it.

As with any father and son, there were challenging times, and blood boiling mistakes. My husband was no picnic as a teenager. But his dad handled these years and slip-ups with grace and forgiveness that I’m confident my husband will show to our boy when the time comes.

RELATED: I Want My Son To See His Father Love His Mother

My son is growing up with a true role model of a grandfather, who’s lived a life of humility and love, and a father who exudes hard work in every possible way, who followed in his father’s footsteps. He’s got big shoes to fill, but each day he takes a step a little bit more into his grandfather’s legacy.

Man holding baby

Dear father-in-law, you live on in more than hair color and nose shape, you have left behind a little boy who passionately wants to be like his daddy, and shadow his every move to live a life of memory and fatherly bonding that my husband cherished with you for 18 years. I can see what’s on the horizon for my son, and I thank you for all that you are—for so much of what my son will be. I love you.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Jennifer Bailey

Stay at home mom enjoying one little boy and navigating parenting one trip to Target at a time.

A Backpack and a Father’s Love

In: Grown Children, Living
Yellow backpack

My grandma’s standard answer when it came time to discuss upcoming events, holidays, or family gatherings was the following, “I’ll be there . . . if I’m still here.” “See you at Christmas, Grandma!” Or, “Can’t wait to come visit this summer.” Or, “Wow, it will be so exciting to have you at our wedding.” “I’ll be there . . . if I’m still here,” was always her response. And the thing is, for a very long time, she was. She enjoyed nearly 90 years and took in every possible moment when it came to time with family and friends....

Keep Reading

When Mama Doesn’t Love

In: Grown Children, Living, Motherhood
Little girl, black and white photo

She is nine years old, squeezed into the far corner of the bathtub, fully clothed, legs folded to her chest. She feels the slap-slap sting of the belt. She disobeyed. Her heartbeat roars in her head, and she wonders if she will die this time. Her heart aches from the words. Silent tears fall, and the words and the strap stop. She sees red welts on her arms and legs but feels only the numbness of her empty heart. She slowly rises to hide in her spot in the shed. She pulls out her diary and writes. The words her...

Keep Reading

You’re the Mother-in-Law I Dream of Being One Day

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Grandmother holding baby with big sister looking on, color photo

To my dear mother-in-law, Thank you for showing me that good mothers-in-law really do exist. I hear so often about the stereotypical mother-in-law who ends up alienating her daughters-in-law. You are not one of those. You have totally won my heart instead. Thank you that on days when I feel my world unraveling, I can gather up my little ones, and crash down at your place where you welcome us with open arms. I did it the other day. My overstimulated brain and body needed a break, so in a sort of desperation, I got myself and the four littles...

Keep Reading

Hello From the Middle of the Middle Years

In: Grown Children, Living, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy helping elderly man up the stairs, color photo

I am middle-aged. I honestly don’t know how or when I got here, but it’s legit. It’s not just in the number I say out loud when someone asks me how old I am. Or when I give my students my birth year and am returned with perplexed questions as they try to comprehend how I could have actually existed in the 1900s. So, that makes you like… historical? So, you were there when MLK died? So, you’re like, 82? I definitely need to talk to their math teacher. This middle-aged business pulled up for a ride out of nowhere. I feel...

Keep Reading

My Dad Remarried after My Mom Died, and as a Daughter It’s Bittersweet

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss
Older couple walking on beach holding hands

My dad ran off with a woman from California. When you put it like that, it sounds salacious and a faux pax, but the reality is a lot less interesting. My mom died of cancer at the cusp of my adulthood, leaving me and a gaggle of siblings behind. Six months later, my dad met a widow in California, connected with her, fell in love, and decided to move our family to California to be with her. Two years almost to the day after my mother died, my father married my stepmother. (I have photographic evidence of the event, I...

Keep Reading

Sharing a Birthday with My Dad Is the Best Gift of All

In: Grown Children
Old, color photo of father and tween daughter blowing out candles

I have the best dad. I know many people say that about their dad, but I really do. He is the kind of person who lights up a room with his smile or his hearty laugh—the kind that makes you start cracking up just by hearing it. His heart is made of solid gold, and he makes everyone feel like the most important person in the room. He exudes the kind of joy that radiates like sunshine beaming through the darkest storm. He loves everyone and everything. Especially his birthday. And not just for the ordinary reasons people love their birthday—the...

Keep Reading

Seeing My Dad’s Illness through My Child’s Eyes Hurts More

In: Grown Children, Living, Motherhood
Little girl and grandpa walking down sidewalk, color photo

It’s extremely hard to see your parent sick. It’s a million times harder to see your child’s grandparent sick. It may not make sense, but if you’ve been there, it probably hits close to home. The fact is there is a very real, very significant difference between the two. While both are challenging and heartbreaking in their own ways, the latter is a whole other form of hurt. One you can’t fully prepare for. When my dad recently started undergoing significant health issues, we all reacted in different ways. As adult children, we knew this would always be a possibility....

Keep Reading

A Grandma’s Love Is Stronger Than DNA

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Woman with toddler granddaughter, black-and-white photo

This baby girl. I shouldn’t love her like I do. But, I do. She’s not mine. Yet, I feel like she is. Or, maybe I feel like I am hers.  Three years ago I got remarried to a man with a young adult daughter. I immediately felt adoration for this daughter who wasn’t mine. But coming along later in her life, I knew my expectations must be kept safely in check. She already had a mother. She even had a stepmother before me. Her heart must have been familiar with breaks I had yet to know at her tender age. ...

Keep Reading

I Am a Mother Evolving

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Mother and child walking by water in black and white photo

Those who mean well squawk the refrain— “The days are long, but the years are short.” They said I would miss it— little feet and newborn baby smell nursing in the wee hours with a tiny hand clutching mine. Tying shoes,  playing tooth fairy,  soothing scary dreams. They were fine times, but I do not wish them back. RELATED: Mamas, Please Quit Mourning Your Children Growing Up I rather enjoy these days of my baby boy suddenly looking like a young man in a baseball uniform  on a chilly Wednesday in April. And my Amazonian teenage girl  with size 11...

Keep Reading

Watching My Mom Lose Her Best Friend Is Hard

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss
Two women walking, color photo

Today, my mom lost one of her best friends. Today the news came. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. Traumatically. Ripping a hole in the heart of her world and the world of all who knew and loved her. Today I realized so many things. Things I already know but always lose sight of. Things like, nothing is ever guaranteed. Things like, you never know when it will be your last text . . . your last hug . . . your last power walk . . . your last everything with a person who is so deeply connected to your heart and soul...

Keep Reading