A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I Want to Leave My Husband (But it’s Not What You Think)

4 Minute Read

By Nicole Merritt

I Want to Leave My Husband (But it's Not What You Think) www.herviewfromhome.com — Matthew Nigel/Shutterstock.com

I want to leave my husband, but it’s not what you’re thinking.

We’re not having marriage troubles (at least any more than the rest of you). We’re not dealing with infidelity (as far as I am aware).

And neither of us is utterly depressed and completely unhappy (though a few cocktails surely help those grins stretch across our face).

We’re two people who married young, had kids relatively young and have been working to balance a partnership, some romance, a home, work, two dogs and parenting duties.

It’s not far-fetched for you to assume that I would want to leave my spouse or that he would want to part ways with me; goodness knows we drive each other crazy daily and get on each other’s nerves more often than not.

Thankfully though, we’ve got something going for us—something that has helped us to stay married.

You see, both of us love who we were, who we are raising, and who we know we will be in the future, more than who we are today, and that is what keeps us together.

So, why then did I say I want to leave the man I married?

Because I do, but let me explain what I mean . . .

I want to leave my husband each morning feeling like he is on top of the world. I want him to know when he walks out that door for work that he is valued, respected and loved by his family.

I want to leave my husband alone when he desires, giving him the space he needs to tend to himself and his personal growth without distraction or guilt.

I want to leave my husband alone with our children and put aside my need for control so he and our children can maintain their strong bond.

I want to leave my husband notes in his briefcase so I can remind him of the juvenile yet undeniably cute way we used to flirt with one another.

I want to leave my husband at home to go out with my girlfriends so he may have time to miss me.

I want to leave my husband with his friends, so he may see that I understand the vital role they play in his life and keeping him feeling balanced.

I want to leave my husband to sit in silence when that is what he desires.

I want to leave my husband on the edge of his seat as he listens to me excitedly share the events of my day.

I want to leave my husband feeling like his expectations for his life have been met and surpassed.

I want to leave my husband feeling like expectations for himself, me, and our children are unnecessary because most of the time, they aren’t realistic or helpful.

I want to leave my husband with a kiss and an “I love you” before bed, every single night.

I want to leave my husband without any doubt in his mind that I am grateful for his friendship.

I want to leave my husband wondering how he got so lucky to end up with a wife like me.

I want to leave my husband wondering if I realize just how lucky I am to have him for a husband so I have the opportunity to tell him so.

I want to leave my husband guessing where I will take him on the spontaneous date nights I so often surprise him with. I want to leave my husband wanting more of me after he sees me out of my yoga pants and squeezed into my little black dress.

I want to leave my husband with hints about what I want and need without me having to tell him outright.

I want to leave my husband with no doubt in his mind that I aim to be everything he needs and wants and hopefully even more than that.

And, more than anything, I want to leave my husband knowing, day in and day out, that no matter how crazy life becomes, how mad our children drive us, how hard parenting gets, how much work sucks, how behind we get on laundry and house cleaning and how many people look at us and thinking we are doomed, that I will never leave him.

Never.

Originally published on Grown & Flown

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Nicole Merritt

Nicole Merritt is a mother of three and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole's work has been featured by Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, BLUNTmoms, Thought Catalog, Everyday Family, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe and on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

In: Living, Marriage

The side of my husband who is hardest on himself usually shows up late at night. The house is quiet, the kids are finally asleep, and the day has done what it always does—taken everything it could from both of us. That’s usually when it comes out. The voice in his head that tells him he’s not doing enough as a father. Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not good enough. He doesn’t say it lightly. He says it like someone confessing a truth he wishes wasn’t true. Like he’s already measured himself against some invisible standard of fatherhood and...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

In: Living, Marriage

He promised you a lifetime, a family, safety, and security. You carried life and brought it into this world for him. Even still, in the trenches of postpartum, he betrayed you. It was never your fault. This is something I’ve fought to tell myself every single day since the day I discovered my marriage was never meant to last. Because the truth is, betrayal is never about you; it’s about them, and the character flaws deep within they’d rather bury than face. He watched as you fought for your life after delivery while your tiny, premature newborn spent the first...

Keep Reading

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

In: Marriage

I’m a year and a half into my still-husband filing for a divorce I didn’t see coming (but probably should have), and I’m here to say: hindsight doesn’t yield perfect vision, but it does bring clarity. While that clarity might not always make perfect sense, it does make processing it all a bit more tangible. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before my marriage ended–abruptly and unilaterally. Effort should feel mutual, not one-sided and minimal. The handmade birthday weekend itineraries year after year, the endless putting-him-on-a-pedestal, the desperate asks to go out on actual dates, the late-night research...

Keep Reading

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

In: Marriage

Some days don’t feel romantic at all. They feel like alarms going off too early, coffee gone cold, kids who need everything at once, and a to-do list that keeps growing no matter how much you check off. They feel like passing each other in the kitchen with tired eyes and half-finished sentences. They feel like wondering how it’s only Tuesday. And yet, somewhere in the middle of all that, there’s this quiet, steady thing holding it together. Not fireworks. Not big, sweeping moments. Just a simple, consistent choice. We’re still in this. Together. Marriage, at its core, isn’t built...

Keep Reading

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

In: Living, Marriage

Divorce often feels like the scarlet letter no one talks about. Some in our generation may call it “trendy”—particularly as women have become more independent and empowered—but whether it’s socially acceptable or not, it is still a label no woman enters marriage expecting to wear. Women are often self-sacrificing—sometimes to a fault. We give and give until our souls feel nearly drained. And in marriages marked by abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, inconsistency, or dishonesty, we still convince ourselves that if we just give a little more, love a little harder, try a little longer, something will change. Divorce is not...

Keep Reading

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

In: Marriage

I still can’t believe you’re mine. Lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on how far we’ve come—two babies, multiple moves, and the weight of a world that hasn’t always been kind. There were seasons when things felt uncertain. Seasons when growth hurt. Seasons when staying required more strength than leaving ever would have. I know not everyone believed we would make it this far. But it was always you. God was leading me to you long before I understood it. In ways I couldn’t see at the time, He was writing a story bigger than my fears, bigger than my doubts,...

Keep Reading

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

In: Marriage

There is nothing simple about raising a medically complex child. We carry emergency plans the way others carry wallets. Med lists are memorized. Hospital routes are second nature. We measure time in seizures, appointments, medication schedules, and recovery windows. Early Monday morning, after our 10-year-old autistic son was sedated for stitches following a seizure fall, he was sick. My husband held him upright while he vomited. I grabbed towels, trying to catch what I could. We moved in sync—no discussion, no drama, just instinct and practice. And I thought about our marriage. It isn’t glitz and glamour. It’s not candlelit...

Keep Reading

We Fall In Love a Million Times

In: Marriage

Recently, I read a picture book to my children titled Would I Trade My Parents? The book is about a little boy who wishes he could exchange his parents for his friends’ parents. But in the end, he remembers all the amazing things his parents do for him and realizes he wouldn’t trade them after all. He knows they’re the best. After reading this book, my immediate thought was there should be a book for couples called Would I Trade My Partner? Because while we can’t trade our children (or our parents), we most certainly can trade our spouses if we really...

Keep Reading

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Mother with little girl on piggyback walking down road

I have four beautiful children. Each of them is unique, full of purpose, and wonderfully made by God. Being their mom is my greatest joy and my biggest challenge. As a newly single mom, the normal things of adolescence I used to have help governing are now much more difficult to navigate. I constantly worry my unhealed trauma is going to spill out onto my kids and mess them up. Who’s with me? I have teenage daughters. That fact in and of itself is frightening. It is so easy to let them down. I try to meet them where they...

Keep Reading

You're an Amazing Aunt

Kids

You're an Amazing Aunt

I Love That My Kids Are Growing Up With a Dog

Living

I Want to Leave My Husband (But it’s Not What You Think)

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Nicole Merritt

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Want to Leave My Husband (But it’s Not What You Think)

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Marriage Ended

Love Is Saying “I’m Still Here”

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like