Our fall favorites are here! 🍂

Sometimes we miss . . .

We shoot at one another from across the room with Love Arrows that miss in mid-air.

I’m at home all day orchestrating school and laundry and sports practices and dinner plans while attempting to keep the peace between bickering children.

And he’s busting his butt working ridiculously long hours at the hospital.

Sometimes I wonder if he notices I got ALL the laundry done?

RELATED: Our Marriage Improved When We Started Sharing the Mental Load

I wonder if he realizes when he walked through the door ALL the children are still alive?

And does he notice the house is still standing???

Usually, by the end of the day, I feel desperate for adult company. And some help around here.

But, wait . . .

Did I notice he worked 12+ hours straight and still picked up milk on his way home from work???

Psheeeeeeew.

Miss.

Psheeeeeeew.

Miss.

We shoot arrows of love and longing and understanding and connection.

We each want to be seen and heard and appreciated and validated.

But so often we miss in mid-air.

Some days it feels like we stumble silently along our own lonely paths. Hoping to be noticed.

But some days . . .

In the middle of a busy workday at 2:21 p.m. he sends me a simple text:

“Grateful for having u by my side. I love u.”

RELATED: This 2-Minute Film About Marriage Wrecked Me in the Best Way

And I just smile.

(He does this A LOT.)

You see, he knows I’m a word girl.

So, I’m best seen and heard and understood through words. Cards. Conversations. A simple text.

When he got home tonight and after our noisy family dinner, we took turns tucking the kids into bed and kissing everyone goodnight.

Then when the house was quiet, I settled him in front of me on the couch between my knees to rub the knots from his tired neck and shoulders.

Because I know he’s a physical touch kind of guy.

And THAT is marriage.

We get it wrong all the time.

We screw up.

Sometimes we hurt one another’s feelings.

We feel lonely on occasion, too.

But over and over and over again . . .

We show up. We try harder. We put the other one first.

RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is Hard

We NOTICE.

And we do our best to give love and connection and understanding in exactly the way our partner needs to receive it.

Sure, sometimes we miss in mid-air.

But sometimes . . . 

Our Love Arrows land right on target.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Mikala Albertson

Mikala is a wife, family practice doctor turned mostly stay-at-home mom to five kids, and writer. She is the author of Ordinary On Purpose: Surrendering Perfect and Discovering Beauty Amid the Rubble available wherever books are sold. Mikala writes to give you permission to release your grip on all the should-dos and have-tos and comparisons and “I’m not measuring up”s and just be free to live your life. THIS life, however imperfect. In this body with these relationships in this house at this job with these parents and these circumstances. Your ONE precious, beautiful life! Join her on Facebook and Instagram.

What Happens When Your Perfect Life Explodes?

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Marriage, Motherhood
Sad woman by window with her head in hands

One day you’re living your best life, writing articles about how perfect your marriage is, and the next, BOOM, life as you know it completely changes. I was blindsided by information that my husband had been lying to me for three years about certain aspects of our lives. I felt like I had been hit in the gut by the biggest rock you could imagine. What has followed has been a snowball of events and new information that has changed the course of my and my kids’ lives. So what do you do when your perfect explodes? This is one...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, In This Busy Season

In: Living, Marriage
Busy family in the kitchen, man walking into the door holding coffee

Dear husband,  I know this is a busy season for you. I see how hard you’re working. And I know you come home exhausted every night. I know you’d be here earlier—and more often—if you could. But you can’t. Because this is your busy season.  And there are a few things I need you to know.  This is hard for me too. Even on normal days, I’m on call 24/7 for the kids, but now, I don’t have you at home as backup. The needing never stops, and I no longer have you to share it with. I can’t say,...

Keep Reading

Attention Husbands, Your Wife Needs Your Touch

In: Marriage
Man kissing woman on forehead

Attention husbands, Your wife needs your touch. And I’m not just talking about sex, though she needs that too, I’m talking about intimacy beyond the bedroom. I’m talking about reaching for her hand while you’re driving. Holding her hand and walking closely in public. Cuddling on the couch while watching TV. Pulling her close and kissing her passionately when she least expects it. Wrapping your arms around her and holding her just for the sake of being close with no other expectations. Pushing the hair back out of her eyes just so you can touch her face.  RELATED: The Key to...

Keep Reading

Why This Blogger’s “Dear Husband” Poem Has the World Sobbing

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Father holding newborn in bathtub with siblings nearby

It’s one thing to read an article that gets you in the feels . . . but when you read those words aloud? It brings the emotions to a whole other level.  An Irish radio host from Corks RedFM proved that this week when she read a poem live on air about motherhood, marriage, and the bittersweet reality of time passing quickly. The viral piece was written by blogger Jess Urlichs, and it perfectly captures what it feels like to be thankful and heartbroken at the same time.  Watch radio personality Vic on the RedFM Breakfast with KC show read...

Keep Reading

Our Love Languages Are Not the Same—And That’s Okay

In: Marriage
Couple cuddling on couch

“How come you don’t say that about me?” Oh, if I could count the number of times I’ve asked that question to my husband after reading yet another husband’s social media post about how amazing his wife is. Far too many. I’m sure you are familiar with the five love languages. It’s the different ways in which people give and receive love and it includes, acts of service, receiving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. People whose love language is words of affirmation often use words of appreciation, compliments, and verbal encouragement when they are speaking to...

Keep Reading

Do I Know How to Be Your Wife Anymore?

In: Marriage
Couple touching foreheads sitting on couch

Sometimes it’s easy to take you for granted. Sometimes it’s easy to put my focus on other people, things to get done, places to go. Sometimes it’s easy to assume you’ll always be there. But sometimes, I need to make you a priority. I need to thank you for your hard work, your dedication to me and the kids, your selflessness. I need to ask how your day was, take an investment in your interests, and be more considerate of your needs. The hustle and bustle of everyday life gets in the way and is an easy excuse. Honestly, sometimes...

Keep Reading

This Season is About Them, But I Really Miss Us

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Husband and wife, color photo

This season is different. It is all-consuming. It is all about them, but I really miss us! Let me start by saying I love my people with all my heart. Really, I do. But I would be lying if I didn’t add that this has been the hardest season I have ever faced as a mom. My sweet hubby and I have three daughters, two of whom are teens. The whirlwind of emotions is broad and real around here. It’s not easy to put on a brave face day after day, giving and giving, only to be pushed away, ignored,...

Keep Reading

Marry the Man Who Changes the Toilet Paper Roll

In: Marriage
Man and woman kissing

Marry the man who does without asking. The guy who cleans the coffee pot every night so you have a warm cup when you wake. The guy who stops and helps bring in the groceries and puts them away. The guy who takes the yard work seriously and shares the load with you. The guy who vacuums when you’re done dusting and is a boss at making three beds in record time. RELATED: To My Husband: Thank You For Being A Great Man Marry the guy who will be the dad of your family. The dad who plays without checking...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Lost in a Relationship

In: Living, Marriage
Worried woman with hands clasped in front of her, sitting on couch

I read somewhere that if you find yourself Googling, “Should I leave my relationship?” you probably should. I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but it was absolutely true for me. If you’re asking yourself (or asking Google), “Is this what love is supposed to feel like?” it probably isn’t. The most helpful thing I did when traveling the rocky road to the decision to leave my marriage was to keep a journal. A friend had given me the advice—she was navigating her own painful split and shared what her therapist suggested. “She says to keep a log....

Keep Reading

Marriage Is Harder Than It Looks: 10 Things We’ve Learned So Far

In: Marriage
Couple touches foreheads

When we first got married, we knew everything. We were looking around at other couples struggling like, “What’s wrong with them? It is not that hard!” I’m sure they were looking back at us saying, “Just keep on living.” At the beginning of a relationship, a marriage, it can be close to utopia. Everyone is putting their best foot forward . . . looking good, talking good, loving your family—all of that! And then the inevitable happens, change. People change, seasons change, circumstances change, and this is what should be happening, but who is an expert in change? I’m a...

Keep Reading