So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

Over the years I’ve taken on many titles. With these titles have come certain groups of people I’ve associated with, those who I found common bonds. For years I was bonded with other women who suffered infertility and miscarriages, and as time passed I had the humble honor of witnessing these strong women become mothers. As a wife, I started out my marriage young and naïve but as time marched on I soon found myself with a new title: wife of a road warrior.

This title doesn’t make me particularly unique; in fact, I’m finding there are more women out there than I ever imagined who could claim the same. I think of these women often, even though I can only count on one hand the number of wives I personally know who are a part of this club. These women go days, weeks and even months without seeing their husbands. We live in a world where technology can connect people globally through a device in your hand; however, there are still some jobs that require a person in the flesh.

My husband has one of those jobs. The longest he’s ever been gone is two months, which to some may seem like not that long, and to others, seems an eternity.

When I married him I didn’t know his work would someday take him away so much, not that it would’ve changed my decision, but at least I would’ve known what I was getting into.

His work travel didn’t really peak until after we had kids, of course, God has a sense of humor that way. I remember being in pre-labor with my first child and praying he could find a flight in time to make it home for the birth. With my second, I remember coming home from the hospital and helping him pack for a two-week trip.

My children are older now, so it’s easier in many ways. They’ve really never known any different, so while I can’t say they are used to it—because I don’t believe any child can really get used to seeing his dad a handful of days a month—we’re lucky this didn’t just happen overnight.

But for some, it does. Unexpected, yet welcome promotions or new jobs after being laid off are the toughest situations. When, as a wife, you’re accustomed to dinner as a family every night and suddenly that is gone. Your partner who helps you divide and conquer the responsibilities that come with parenting is now only there part-time and suddenly all that weight shifts onto her shoulders, albeit temporarily.

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the wives who have to see their husbands and fathers of their children off to war zones or working dangerous jobs like coal mining, risking their lives in exchange for the ability to provide for their families. Please don’t think for a second I’m comparing myself or those in similar circumstances to mine as the true heroes. What we go through as road warrior wives completely pales in comparison to the sacrifice those families go through.

While road warrior wives can Skype and FaceTime, it still doesn’t replace the cuddling during story time.

Road warrior wives go to bed exhausted doing the work of two while missing that warm, familiar body next to them.

Road warrior wives maintain the home and everything that comes with it, including killing the bugs they’re scared of and wish he was here to deal with instead.

Road warrior wives sometimes work, too and have to scramble for childcare when someone wakes up in the night with a fever because there is an important meeting or work event that simply cannot be missed.

Road warrior wives steal any amount of free time they can because everything falls on them when Dad is gone. You find yourself watching YouTube videos on how to replace air filters and vacuum condensers because it’s a hot summer night and the air won’t kick on.

Road warrior wives count down the days until their husbands return and can instantly tell you (sometimes down to the second) how much longer until then.

A road warrior wife does know exactly when their husband will be home, but she doesn’t always know where her husband is on that particular week or day because it changes so much and so often. Maybe he’s in Phoenix? Oh wait no, that was last week. Ohio? No, I think he said something about Colorado . . . Finally, you shrug and say something along the lines of I’m not sure, but I do know he will be back (insert date here).

While the role of a road warrior wife is not easy, we know we are blessed. We have husbands who sacrifice their time for their family. All this traveling means these husbands also miss out on golfing tournaments, fishing trips and (ahem) let’s just say proper couples ministry time.

But what the whole family gains is appreciation.

Appreciation for the time we do have together.

Appreciation for the roles we all play, and their importance.

Appreciation for the opportunities these sacrifices give us.

And the appreciation of the patient, courageous, loving, strong women we’re becoming and learning more about, who we otherwise we may not have grown to know.

Here’s to you, road warrior wife.

You may also like:

I Don’t Hate That My Husband Travels For Work

This is What Home is Like When Your Husband Travels For Work

Kimberly Patterson

Kimberly Patterson is a writer, wife and mother of two adorable, over-zealous toddlers. She spends her days in yoga pants, pecking away at the keys on her laptop and pulling her kids off of whatever household furniture they climb upon. She has been published on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Her View From Home, The Mighty, and several other publications. Read more of her insights at truthisinthewriting.com.

A Medical Diagnosis Challenges a Marriage

In: Cancer, Living, Marriage
Bald woman holding clippers over husband's head, color photo

It is no secret now that Albert Pujols and his wife have announced their divorce shortly after she had surgery to remove a brain tumor. As a breast cancer survivor, this news hit me in a special way. As I was reading through an article from Today, there was a quote that hit me hard, “But a marriage falling apart is far more common when the wife is the patient, researchers have found. A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Don’t Want To Fight

In: Marriage
Husband and wife facing away from each other on bed

Dear husband, It seems like every month, we are embroiled in the same “discussion,” which inevitably turns into an argument, and if we go down the well-worn path, eventually becomes an ear-splitting match.  Talking over each other’s voices, we battle it out in an attempt to be heard. The more we try to explain ourselves to each other, the farther apart we push each other. Still, we persist. We want so badly for each of us to try to understand where the other is coming from, but we can’t seem to do it at this moment. You think, If only...

Keep Reading

The Conversation We’re Forgetting To Have About Birth

In: Baby, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman having a baby man holding her hand

My husband lay sleeping, his head resting on a fluffy, down-stuffed pillow in our hotel room. His bag was packed neatly, ESPN was playing quietly in the background, and he had unopened snacks at his disposal on the end table. Our hotel phone rang, and my husband groggily answered, ”Yes? Oh, sorry. Yeah, we’ll keep it down. Sorry.” He hung up and found me miserable and shaky in the shower, the thin shower curtain clinging to my legs.  “Steph, we got a noise complaint. You have to keep it down!” he whispered. This is not how I expected labor to...

Keep Reading

Is Our Love Enough To Withstand the Devastation of Addiction?

In: Marriage
Couple walking hand in hand black and white photo

I lie awake at night listening to my husband’s breathing. He is clearly asleep. I, on the other hand, am wide awake feeling sad and alone. Where did we go wrong? How did we end up here? I look back fondly on those early days when we were madly in love. We couldn’t get enough of each other. It was like there was a magnet pulling us toward each other, insisting that our bodies connect. A caress under the table, a hand on the small of my back, there was always some part of us touching. I felt loved and wanted....

Keep Reading

My Husband Makes Me a Stronger Woman

In: Grief, Loss, Marriage
Daddy standing over hospital crib with infant, black-and-white photo

A little over a year ago, my husband and I went through the unimaginable. We lost our child, Lillian, to a congenital heart defect. The days following that, and even to this day, people will comment on how strong I am. How well I’ve dealt with this darkness. How they can’t imagine what I am going through. The truth is I was never alone. From the day we found out I would give birth to a child who had complex heart defects, my husband has been there. Always in the background of what others saw but ever so present in...

Keep Reading

I’m Mostly a Mom Right Now and Sometimes I Forget How to Be a Wife

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Sometimes it’s easy to take you for granted. Sometimes it’s easy to put my focus on other people, things to get done, places to go. Sometimes it’s easy to assume that you’ll always be there. But sometimes I need to make you a priority. I need to thank you for your hard work, your dedication to me and the kids, your selflessness. I need to ask how your day was, take an investment in your interests, and be more considerate of your needs. The hustle and bustle of everyday life gets in the way and is an easy excuse. Honestly,...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, Where Did You Go? Where Did We Go?

In: Marriage

When did it all change for you?  When did you stop looking at me that way? You know, the look. The look you gave me when you wanted me. Truly wanted me. I could feel the desire for me down deep in my bones.  When did your smile fade? Actually, I think it has disappeared completely. It used to be so big it took up your entire face. Where did it go?  I remember being unable to keep our hands off of each other. There was a force pulling my skin to yours. It was magnetic. Do you remember that?...

Keep Reading

This Is the Phase of Marriage No One Tells You About

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Before getting married, I remember being inundated with advice. Don’t go to bed angry. Make time for date nights. Cling to your vows. Follow Jesus above all else. I took this as a “heads up” of all the trials and struggles my husband and I would face in our marriage. And while no one enters their marriage thinking it’s going to be full of problems, I understood it was a reality of marriage—a phase that we would go through and tackle together. The wedding also brought on a lot of words of encouragement and excitement. You get to grow old...

Keep Reading

Hardships Can’t Tame My Farmer’s Love For the Land

In: Living, Marriage

Like many young girls in the early 90s, I was obsessed with the Little House on the Prairie books. I collected the books, read them over and over, and even begged my family to visit Laura Ingalls’ house in DeSmet, South Dakota, on a family vacation when we drove across the Midwest.  Back then, I related more to Laura, her parents, and her sisters. As an 8-year-old, I wasn’t thinking about marriage—so the later books when she was married didn’t stick out as much to me. I pictured myself in place of Laura since we were about the same age....

Keep Reading

I Never Knew It Could Be So Hard To Have Sex With My Husband

In: Faith, Marriage

I was brought up in a Christian home and church where sex was never discussed. The only thing I knew was that I was supposed to wait for marriage. Sex was always taboo. Something shameful to hide away and never even be mentioned outside of telling kids to wait for their wedding night.  Now here I am, married for nine years with three kids, and I still feel uncomfortable with sex. I still feel like it’s wrong. I still feel unsure and uncomfortable with the whole thing. But that isn’t what God intended for us. Sex wasn’t meant to be...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections