May is Complete Mayhem: 8 Tips for Making it Through

Dear moms,

Before I had kids, I didn’t know about the turbulence in the chaotic month of May, the most wonderful season that feels busier than decking the halls during the holidays.

Before I had school-age kids, I didn’t realize how the launching from winter to summer would center around April’s Spring Break, and the countdown to the end of the school year would launch before I was ever ready. Back then, I didn’t know you needed to arrange summer plans, summer childcare, and summer camps by February. I didn’t know you needed to contemplate summer in the middle of a mid-freeze January when I was sipping hot cocoa in my fuzzy socks watching Christmas Hallmark movies.

So, now that the month of May is here, with my own school-age kids in tow (or in the carpool line), I wanted to share some tips about how to survive it, because, just maybe, it will help you with a little extra peace as we head to the end of the school year finish line.

1. Buckle up.

Teachers, the PTA, your extended family, EVERYONE will throw dates at you. Get your calendar and write things down. There will be special days galore. There will be themed days on top of special days where you will need to wear certain things or pack backpacks with your kid’s favorite stuffy. There will be field trips and field days. There will be opportunities for classroom volunteer spots, lunchroom monitoring, and chaperoning. There will be birthday parties and teacher appreciation days. There will be end-of-season celebrations, graduation/promotion ceremonies, and kick-off to summer sports and activities. Let your calendar be your guide. And, when in doubt, find an organized friend to help you through.

2. Decide what you will and won’t do. 

With changes in your capacity due to the increased hustle of the season, you might have to do this as each day comes. You don’t have to do crazy sock day if you don’t want to! Girl, you don’t have to say “yes” to everything. Quite frankly, you don’t have to say “yes” to anything extra if you don’t want to.

Don’t overdo it if it means you’ll lose your crap. Your mental health is gold.

3. Don’t compare. 

Every family has different resources. Some may have the capacity to do more or give more than you. That’s okay! Your time to give back will come when you can make space for it when you are ready. If now isn’t the time, well then, so be it.

4. Don’t judge yourself.

Just don’t do it. Do better when you can, but also appreciate that doing YOU is the very best thing. There’s no need to be hard on yourself for missing a date, not financially being able to donate the extra gift cards, or having to say no.

5. Give yourself permission.

Three cheers for you. You have signed the 101 permission slips all year long.

Give yourself permission to not do everything.

Give yourself permission to not feel guilty or like a failure because you can’t do the thing. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS!

Reframe it for yourself. You can’t do everything and that’s perfectly fine.

Give yourself some grace, sister. You deserve it.

6. Rewind and connect. 

Take some time to catch memories and gratitude. Get a five-year journal or a special notebook. Journal about the fun things you and your kids did this school year. Let them know how proud you are of their accomplishments.

If you don’t have time to journal, write them in the notes section on your phone.

Catch the funny things that your kids say. They are growing fast!

Connection is a gift. Savor it. Foster it. Create opportunities for it with your crew. You will 100 percent be grateful you did—and so will they.

7. Reflect on all the things you have done. 

It’s so rewarding to watch your littles become grown. You are changing too! I am proud of you!

8. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. 

This is a “must do” you’ll want to write down. There’s a reason a flight attendant teaches you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on the one you are caring for, should there be cabin pressure failure.

Your kids need YOU to be okay because if you aren’t, it will be harder for them to be okay. And let’s face it, transitions bring up a lot of angst for some kids. They’ll need you. So, take time to take care of yourself or reward yourself. Take a walk, grab a special coffee, read a book, write/paint/draw, even take a few extra minutes by yourself to breathe in/breathe out after a day of scheduled running around. Find a trusted friend. Pray. Meditate. Go to therapy. Go to the gym. Find new ways to practice mindfulness. Do what you need to do to relax.

Regulating yourself is part of your job as a mom. Let the guilt fall away. Imagine the guilt and stress sliding off your shoulders and onto the ground. Pick up the peace you need to get through this month.

I hope you find blessings in unexpected places in the month of May. I hope you find joy in the breeze and sunlight of the day. When overwhelm finds you, give yourself some space to recognize it, recollect yourself, and restart. Like the pilot at 10,000 feet, I hope this will help transition you to a smooth landing.

You tell your kids, “You got this!” and “I believe in you!”

Now say it to yourself.

I wish for you the very best May, filled with joyful moments as we navigate the chaos together.