I’m experiencing something I’ve gone through before but never thought I would again, puberty.

I’m going to call it…Mid-Life Puberty.

Definition: Awkward phase of life around middle part of life. Sudden change in role and identity that takes place which leaves the person in transition but not certain of the end point.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 12 years. I was many things before, the last being a pharmaceutical representative. It took about two years to un-twine from that identity. For example, when I ‘retired’ from the Pharma world, the conversation would go like this:

“So, what do you do for a living?” 

I would typically respond, “I used to be in Pharmaceutical Sales.”

I finally became comfortable with the title of stay at home mom. Some people try to make it sound sophisticated, you know, Home Engineer, Home Manager. I never cared. I loved being at home and embraced it.

Fast forward. My husband and I, (I include him because he played a major role bringing this group into the world) have four kids. They are now scattered between Seventh grade to Kindergarten. 

I’m no longer a stay at home mom Monday through Friday from 8:10-3:30. 

I’m a stay at home person. 

And this is where the dilemma starts.

I’ve heard other Moms say they are busier than ever and I’m sure that’s true. 

But I don’t like to clean house or organize or decorate or basically any domestic chore. I only do those things because they are required so some governmental agency won’t perform a surprise visit and deem I’m not a fit parent due to the house is in too poor shape for kids to be living there. And so we can find volleyball jerseys, flutes, shoes, and that tiny piece that fits that thingy we played with two years ago.

I could exercise more. Shop more. Have lunch with my friends more. Volunteer at school more, travel more, clean the garage, the list goes on. But what I’ve been doing is dreaming more. If there’s anything I love to do, it’s to dream by myself and with other people.

What do you really WANT to do? Not what you HAVE to do. 

I have a B.S. in Ag Communications, Certificate in Ranch Management, Realtors license, Certified Nurse Assistant. I’m ‘qualified’ for a lot of things but I still don’t know what I want to do. Everyday it changes right now. 

Most of the things I want to do, I get funny looks or confused faces when I explain. I’m not sure I’m really ready to publish the list because most of these ideas need more description than I have space. 

I don’t have my head in the clouds so much that I know bills need to be paid, food purchased, the house clean. We all have to do things we don’t love. Trust me, I know. I had four kids under the age of six years. I have cleaned up gross stuff and done things I could never have imagined before having kids.

But why as adults do we think, “this is it?” We just accept our circumstances and encourage our kids to go after their dreams. We aren’t setting a great example of how to dream if we aren’t. 

I’m not dead yet. 

I’ve loved my time at home with my kids. Now, how do I exemplify what it looks like to dream. Some of us have a more difficult time of dreaming.

Let’s get started with some easy ways.

  • What did you you like to do as a child?
  • What did you enjoy doing throughout life that you stopped at some point?
  • What are your passions? Are these things you haven’t thought about in a long time?
  • Do you dream at night? This is an area you can ask God to increase. I dream almost every night and love gaining perspective from a time of the day I’m not controlling my brain.
  • What are your talents? Are there some you haven’t used in a long time?

This is just a few ways to get started. Journal these thoughts and ideas and even the night dreams.

Also, don’t let others stomp on your dream. Only share it with those who will encourage you, not find holes. The hole finders may come in later when you need help with the details. They can possibly see cracks in your plan as you implement but it’s important to surround yourself with encourages in the beginning.

Hearing people’s dreams are some of my favorite conversations. If you need encouragement, post in the comments and I would love to cheer you on.

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Elizabeth Haarberg

Elizabeth Haarberg is a transitioning stay at home mom who finds herself working more often now. She has various degrees and certificates, including B.S. Agricultural Communications from Oklahoma State University, written for three newspapers and numerous free lance projects but can’t recall any of the information because it was prior to delivering four wonderful children. She loves her life and knows she is a work in progress, especially in the area of jealousy. She desires to be jealous-free by the time she takes her last breath. In the meantime she concentrates on the work of humbleness, being thankful for what she has and enjoying the process of life. She, her husband and four children reside in Kearney, NE. Her blog is http://postcardsfrommama.blogspot.com/

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