I was in middle school when Columbine happened, high school when 9/11 occurred. It was so confusing. What would cause someone to do this? How can a person be filled with so much hatred? As I have grown and have had my own children, my confusion has only grown. But there is another part of me that has grown too – my faith. I still don’t understand hate crimes, terrorist attacks, murders, mass shootings – none of it. But what I have come to accept is the fact that I never will.

This morning, I sat in the kitchen having breakfast with my husband and two young sons, ages 9 and 7. And what came on television? “At Least 50 Dead in Orlando Gay Club Massacre.” My smiling reaction to what our oldest son had just joked about turned to a look of confusion and sadness as my attention moved from my son to the television. And then it happened…

“What? Someone shot that many people. How horrible. Mommy, why do things like this keep happening?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m now the person who has to try to explain these terrible acts of hatred to my children just as my parents desperately tried to with me. But I heard a voice within me say, “Just cry.” And I did.

The tears began to flow. My husband, two sons, and I sat and watched the television and we witnessed our childrens’ eyes fill with tears along with us. We sat in silence. My husband stepped up, “Should we pray?”

Yes. Yes we should.

So we prayed for the victims, for their families, for those hurt by this senseless tragedy – and that’s exactly what it is…senseless. We prayed for the families of the man who took it upon himself to carry this act out, and we prayed for his soul. I watched our boys with their perfect faith, their unquestioning love of all that is good and the words came to me again. “God makes all things good.”

“Look boys. Look at all those people helping. Remember what we’ve said before when something terrible happens…look for the good.”

We pointed out ambulance drivers and EMTs, policemen and firefighters, doctors and nurses, people praying behind caution tape, and individuals hugging one another. Our attention changed from the bad to the good. Our tears became smiles as we talked about how God makes all things good.

The truth is that none of us will ever understand these acts of hate; but it’s not our job to understand. We can cry and we can teach our children that it’s okay to cry. We can not understand and we can teach our children that it’s okay to not understand. We can pray and we can teach our children to pray.

So we choose to teach our children to grieve and to look for the good. God is there. He’s there.


~ Bailey Koch

Bailey Koch

The story of Bailey Koch finding her love for and strength in writing begins with near tragedy. In February of 2012, Bailey's husband was nearly killed in a head-on collision with a semi truck. As a method of getting information to friends and family, Bailey began a Caring Bridge page. Immediately, others began commenting that Bailey should be a writer. "Yeah right!" Bailey thought. "There's no way I could do that!" "Never Alone: A Husband and Wife's Journey with Depression and Faith" was published in March 2015 and is written by Jeremy and Bailey Koch. It details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. High school sweethearts, Jeremy and Bailey know their lives were meant for each other and to help others by being honest about their story. They are proud parents of two beautiful, and often rambunctious, boys, Hudson and Asher. You can learn more about their journey and even purchase the eBook or paperback copy of "Never Alone" at www.jeremyandbailey.com. Additionally, a new book written for families to open up a conversation about the reality of Depression is now available. "When the House Feels Sad: Helping You Understand Depression" is available at www.jeremyandbailey.com as well. Jeremy and Bailey found their purpose in helping others find hope when suffering from a disability, especially unseen illnesses like depression. Jeremy, who suffers from suicidal thoughts, continues to learn to live, not simply stay alive, through hope from God and the acceptance of help. Bailey is his biggest supporter and left her teaching job, after being in public education for seven years, to focus on what the two know to be God's plan. Bailey now works as a Lecturer in Teacher Education at the University of Nebraska at Kearney and will graduate with her doctoral degree in Special Education from Walden University sometime in 2019. Jeremy and Bailey co-own and operate Natural Escapes, a landscaping and greenhouse services business that also includes a paint your own pottery and canvas family art studio. The passion to advocate for those who can't easily advocate for themselves is strong. Bailey has a message of hope and acceptance for all; she has plans to completely demolish the societal stigma attached to mental illness.