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Dear Mother-in-Law, I’m Sorry For Pushing You Away

In: Motherhood

3 Minute Read

By Lindsey Carson

Woman and mother-in-law — Image via Lindsey Carson

Dear Mother-in-Law,

I have something I need to tell you. Something that is long overdue.

I need to say I’m sorry.

I have bulldozed you.
I have ignored you.
I have rocked your world.
And I am sorry.

My apology begins with the clumsy steps I took as a newly married woman. I was possessive over my new husband and I lacked understanding for the monumental changes taking place in your life. My actions and words were hurtful and thoughtless.

Then, I had a son of my own and his birth opened my eyes to the life of a boy mom. I had no idea, and man, am I sorry.

When you were giving your son into the hands of another woman, I was desperately fighting for control. I forced my husband to confront you every time I got my feelings hurt and I shut you out during a painful season of your life. To say I am embarrassed by my actions is a gross understatement. I lacked so much compassion during those early years and I am terrified to think of how my future daughter-in-law will behave toward my presence. I am SO sorry.

As if the things I have already fessed up for aren’t enough, there’s more. I need to apologize for all the times I used our relationship as a platform for venting about the son you raised. Being a new wife was difficult for me and I found a lot of fault in my husband. I would call and vent incessantly about your baby boy. You calmly listened and gave advice, but I know truth was not a luxury you were given. I apologize for that uncomfortable position I put you in and I hope from here on out our relationship is watered with truth and respect.

My sweet mother-in-law, since we are laying all of our cards on the table I have one more for display: I am sorry for ever making you feel like you were not needed.

As I sit here rocking my sweet boy to sleep, I am filled with sadness to think of the day I will be replaced by another. I shudder at the thought that this precious boy I have poured my heart and soul into will someday need less of me. I know my day is coming, and I pray that I have the courage to be as patient and still as you were while you watched your children marry.

Mother-in-law, if you could find it in your heart to accept my apology, it would mean the world to me. We have had many ups and downs, but I hope we get better. I hope we can find it in ourselves to move from the societal roles of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict into a healthy beautiful relationship. I hope one day we resemble Naomi and Ruth, because I wholeheartedly believe our relationship has the potential for that kind of greatness.

Dear Mother-in-Law, I love you, and I appreciate the role you play in our family.

You are needed.
You are treasured.
You are loved.

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So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

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Lindsey Carson

Lindsey Carson is a christian mom blogger that spends her days chasing babies and chugging coffee. She was raised in New Mexico and holds the Zia Symbol close to her heart as she learns the ins and outs of east coast living. She enjoys writing about her adventures in motherhood, marriage, and redemption at www.lovefaithandtonsofgrace.com.

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Dear Mother-in-Law, I’m Sorry For Pushing You Away

Then, I had a son of my own and his birth opened my eyes to the life of a boy mom. I had no idea, and man, am I sorry.

My sweet mother-in-law, since we are laying all of our cards on the table I have one more for display: I am sorry for ever making you feel like you were not needed.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Lindsey Carson

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Then, I had a son of my own and his birth opened my eyes to the life of a boy mom. I had no idea, and man, am I sorry.

My sweet mother-in-law, since we are laying all of our cards on the table I have one more for display: I am sorry for ever making you feel like you were not needed.

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