Dear Mother-in-Law, I’m Sorry For Pushing You Away

Dear Mother-in-Law,

I have something I need to tell you. Something that is long overdue.

I need to say I’m sorry.

I have bulldozed you.
I have ignored you.
I have rocked your world.
And I am sorry.

My apology begins with the clumsy steps I took as a newly married woman. I was possessive over my new husband and I lacked understanding for the monumental changes taking place in your life. My actions and words were hurtful and thoughtless.

Then, I had a son of my own and his birth opened my eyes to the life of a boy mom. I had no idea, and man, am I sorry.

When you were giving your son into the hands of another woman, I was desperately fighting for control. I forced my husband to confront you every time I got my feelings hurt and I shut you out during a painful season of your life. To say I am embarrassed by my actions is a gross understatement. I lacked so much compassion during those early years and I am terrified to think of how my future daughter-in-law will behave toward my presence. I am SO sorry.

As if the things I have already fessed up for aren’t enough, there’s more. I need to apologize for all the times I used our relationship as a platform for venting about the son you raised. Being a new wife was difficult for me and I found a lot of fault in my husband. I would call and vent incessantly about your baby boy. You calmly listened and gave advice, but I know truth was not a luxury you were given. I apologize for that uncomfortable position I put you in and I hope from here on out our relationship is watered with truth and respect.

My sweet mother-in-law, since we are laying all of our cards on the table I have one more for display: I am sorry for ever making you feel like you were not needed.

As I sit here rocking my sweet boy to sleep, I am filled with sadness to think of the day I will be replaced by another. I shudder at the thought that this precious boy I have poured my heart and soul into will someday need less of me. I know my day is coming, and I pray that I have the courage to be as patient and still as you were while you watched your children marry.

Mother-in-law, if you could find it in your heart to accept my apology, it would mean the world to me. We have had many ups and downs, but I hope we get better. I hope we can find it in ourselves to move from the societal roles of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict into a healthy beautiful relationship. I hope one day we resemble Naomi and Ruth, because I wholeheartedly believe our relationship has the potential for that kind of greatness.

Dear Mother-in-Law, I love you, and I appreciate the role you play in our family.

You are needed.
You are treasured.
You are loved.

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