To the one who made me a mother, my first child, thank you. 

You hold a special place in my heart. It was quieter then. Slower even. You taught me to do that, or rather, forced me. You forced me to stop and see the big beautiful picture of what matters. In those short days and long nights, we learned together. 

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You helped me to be less selfish. Less focused on me and what is best for me in all situations. As I cared for you through each fever or missed a moment for a diaper change or a meltdown, I shifted my focus to the real needs, the needs that mattered so much more. 

You taught me I can do hard things.

My past doesn’t define me. I am more than that hurt. I can be a good momma. I can work at my dreams or passions and be your example, setting a path for you worth following.

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You led me back to Jesus. Helped me see how much I needed the love of my heavenly parent and how much I craved that for both of us.

You taught me a deeper meaning to grace. Each time I fell short in patience or in understanding in what everyone says a baby needs and felt not enough, you smiled back at me with so much love, and that reminded me I was doing just fine. 

Sweet first child of mine, you saved me.

You helped this young momma see the importance of relationships and time together over things and busyness, the gift of each person and what they bring by being themselves, and the deep, deep need for Jesus and His grace to fill our hearts and lives. 

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So, to the one who made me a mother, my first child, thank you.

You taught me I could love so much bigger and fuller than I ever imagined.

Previously published on the author’s blog

Hannah Dearth

Hannah is a Christian, Ohioan, wife, mother of 2 (ages 4 and 1) and soon to be foster momma. At <a href=" she writes about faith, motherhood, and more, in efforts to show the grace of our Father even in, especially in, our brokenness.