Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

You know, it never fails. The two minutes my son is having a colossal meltdown in public, an innocent passerby hears me say something negative, or even worse, sees me ignoring the Mariah Carey pitched hysterics. How dare I, right? You probably thought about how I was the meanest parent the rest of your day.

Here’s what you saw, Karen at Publix. You saw me rolling my eyes. You overheard me saying, “I can’t even with you today kid,” or “No, you can’t have that,” and I didn’t give him something he demanded. A no to a toddler usually results in some kicking and verbal pushback.

You saw me in a moment that wasn’t conducive to peaceful parenting. I know.

Or maybe you were the unlucky person who parked next to me and heard me say an expletive. Perhaps you heard me yell. Not perhaps, you probably did actually. I saw the nasty looks shot my way.

RELATED: The Mama of the Wild Child is Trying Harder Than You Know

Do you think I yell that word all day? I don’t.

Do you know I’m usually level-headed and very reasonable with my tone?

I apologized to my son for the slip up multiple times afterward.

RELATED: Dear Kids, I’m Sorry I Was a Jerk

I hear people in the checkout lines whispering about me and my child during moments of toddlerhood. That’s what it is. It isn’t anything crazy or abnormal. It’s toddlerhood. My son is still learning and overtired and short-fused occasionally. He’s typically happy and easygoing but you know, it happens. Friendly reminder, you did it 50 years ago, too. Snarky faces need to cease.

I am not making excuses for my irrational behavior when I snap back at my toddler.

I know deep down I shouldn’t do it. And honestly, most of the time I don’t. But you don’t see the 20 zillion times I quietly and calmly assess the meltdowns and provide hugs. You don’t hear me delicately explaining a situation to a 2-year-old, and you don’t see all the food options I offered.

RELATED: The Secret No One Told Me About the Toddler Years is How Much I Could Absolutely Love Them

You see a snapshot of my life. And sometimes you catch me in a bad moment. Sometimes you see me being a bad mom.

My husband has this timing sometimes6 pm isn’t my finest personality after 12 hours with a toddler trying my patience. What he sees is me distancing myself, allowing fits, and firmly saying “NO!” over and over. He didn’t have eyes on us all day to see the laughs, smiles, and moments of pure bliss together.

So please, strangers, friends, family, waitresses, grocery store shoppers, give the frustrated parents some grace.

You are seeing a weak, crummy moment. At these moments, we have just as good of hearing as you and don’t want our children to be as vocal and upset as they are. We already feel inadequate. After we snap, we feel like a second rate parent instantly.

I’m a good mom and you caught me in a bad moment.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Jennifer Bailey

Stay at home mom enjoying one little boy and navigating parenting one trip to Target at a time.

God Had Different Plans

In: Faith, Motherhood
Silhouette of family swinging child between two parents

As I sip my twice-reheated coffee holding one baby and watching another run laps around the messy living room, I catch bits and pieces of the Good Morning America news broadcast. My mind drifts off for a second to the dreams I once had of being the one on the screen. Live from New York City with hair and makeup fixed before 6 a.m. I really believed that would be me. I just knew I’d be the one telling the mama with unwashed hair and tired eyes about the world events that happened overnight while she rocked babies and pumped milk....

Keep Reading

My Baby Had Laryngomalacia

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding baby on her shoulder

Life’s funny, isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got the whole motherhood thing figured out, the universe throws a curveball. And, oh boy, did it throw me one with my second baby. There I was, feeling like a seasoned mom with my firstborn—a healthy, vivacious toddler who was 16 months old. Our breastfeeding journey had its hiccups, an early tongue-tie diagnosis that did little to deter our bond. Fourteen months of nurturing, nighttime cuddles, and feeling powerful, like my body was doing exactly what it was meant to do. Enter my second baby. A fresh chapter, a new story....

Keep Reading

Please Stop Comparing Kids

In: Motherhood
Mom and kids in sunlight

Let me begin with this important message: Please refrain from comparing children, especially when it pertains to their growth and development. If you happen to notice differences in a child’s height, weight, or appetite compared to another, that’s perfectly fine. Your observations are appreciated. However, I kindly request that you avoid openly discussing these comparisons as such conversations can inadvertently distress a parent who may already be grappling with concerns about their child’s growth trajectory. Trust me, I say this from personal experience. Recently, at a dinner gathering, a couple casually remarked that someone’s 1-year-old child appeared larger both in...

Keep Reading

This Will Not Last Forever

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman looking at sunset

“This will not last forever,” I wrote those words on the unfinished walls above my daughter’s changing table. For some reason, it got very tiring to change her diapers. Nearly three years later, the words are still there though the changing table no longer is under them. While my house is still unfinished so I occasionally see those words, that stage of changing diapers for her has moved on. She did grow up, and I got a break. Now I do it for her baby brother. I have been reminding myself of the seasons of life again. Everything comes and...

Keep Reading

You Made Me Love Christmas

In: Motherhood
Family in pajamas near Christmas tree, color photo

Hi kids, this is a thank you note of sorts . . . I’m about to tell you something strange. Something you may not “get” yet, but I hope you do eventually. I used to dread Christmas. I know, isn’t that weird? Most kids and a lot of adults have countdowns and decorations and music, but I had a countdown in my mind of when it would be over. To me, it wasn’t a happy time. From the age of about eight (right about where you all are now) Christmas, for me, became like a job of sorts. Long before...

Keep Reading

She is an Anonymom

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother standing at sink holding a baby on her hip

She stands alone in the church kitchen, frantically scrubbing pots and pans while the grieving huddle around the fellowship hall, and she slips out the back door before anyone comes in. She is an anonymom. She gets out of her car and picks up the trash thrown into the ditch alongside the country road. She is an anonymom. She sits on the park bench, watching her children play. In the meantime, she continually scans the whole playground, keeping track of everyone’s littles, because that is what moms do. She is an anonymom. RELATED: Can We Restore “the Village” Our Parents...

Keep Reading

I Come Alive at Christmas

In: Motherhood
Kitchen decorated for Christmas

It’s time again. Time for the lights and the trees and candy canes and tiny porcelain village homes. It’s time to shake off all that this year has thrown at me and come alive again. My favorite time of year is here and it’s time to make some magic. My mom started the magic of Christmas for me when I was little, and I was infatuated with the joy that it brought to so many people. Loved ones come together and everything sparkles and people who don’t normally come to church are willing to join us in the pews. Everything...

Keep Reading

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

Connecting with My Teen Son Will Always Be Worth the Wait

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy standing near lamppost, color photo

So much of parenting teens is just waiting around, whether it’s in the car picking them up, reading in waiting rooms now that they are old enough to visit the dentist alone, and quite honestly, a lot of sitting around at home while they cocoon in their rooms or spend hours FaceTiming friends. Sure, you have your own life. You work, run a household, have your own friends, and plan solo adventures to show your teen that you’re not just waiting around for them all the time. That you are cool with them not needing you so much. But deep...

Keep Reading