Motherhood Has Made Me Soft

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Motherhood made me soft.

It’s given me a heart that shatters over a scraped knee, and it’s turned my nerves from calm to rather unstable.

I’m here to tell it as it is—being a mother is amazing, but it sucks the life right out of you. I’m not talking about physical exhaustion although that is completely relevant.

RELATED: Dear God, I’m Just So Tired

I’m talking about a love that can never compare to any other, but a love that will rip your heart to shreds.

A crippling love.

A love that will leave you trembling at times with no sense of control over yourself, yet a love that will engulf you wholeheartedly.

Being a mother isn’t for the weak-hearted like me. But believe it or not, being a mother is what made me this way. I find myself questioning if that’s just part of the package.

Where I once stood tall, confident, and strong, I now stand fearful. Unsure.

Fearful because I’m trying to shower my children with so much love, but I’m terrified for their little hearts, terrified for them to get harmed in this shrill world of ours.

Hence, my instability if we’re going to put a label on it.

RELATED: As a Parent, I Can’t Let My Fears For My Children Win

Being a mother made me soft to a point when I cry whenever my child feels left out at school. I sit next to his bed at night and caress his soft cheek ever so gently praying I can take his pain away, knowing that at one point or another, I just won’t be able to.

I adore these children with my entire being—a love so fierce—but I wish it wasn’t this way.

Because I know one day, I will have no control.

One day, they will be on their own, and I will not be able to shelter their hearts from pain.

I know one day when they’re older, I too will be older, and I can’t imagine them not having me to turn to.

Who will protect them? It’s my job. But what if I’m not there?

I worry about a future where I won’t be there guiding them.

RELATED: I’ll Take the Tired—Because Someday They Will Leave Me

Motherhood has made me faint-hearted.

My heart aches at the thought of losing them, of not having them within my reach all my life.

Motherhood has put me in a state of constant distress.

Just weary of this world and it’s harsh edges, worrisome for my little babies.

Motherhood doesn’t last forever.

It’s the circle of life.

With all its beauty, motherhood has made me weak.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Being a mom i love my kids mom life Motherhood motherhood has made me soft raising kids

Suka Nasrallah

Suka is an author residing in Windsor, Ontario with her husband and three children. She is committed to empowering others through sharing her raw and honest opinions, experiences and insights. Aside from writing she loves to draw and finds inspiration for both her art and her words in the most simple elements of life that surround her like the colour of the autumn leaves and a long drive listening to her favorite tunes. She has been published on multiple large social media platforms and has gone viral for her famous piece “67 times”. She was also a nominee for the IRIS awards in 2 categories, September 2021.

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

In: Motherhood

Moms with arms around each other watching baseball

Spending hours on end on a ballfield on Mother’s Day may not sound ideal to most, but the ones who get it know that it’s about so much more than watching young kids play ball. It’s about the instant bonds you make with families who end up becoming like your own family. It’s being surrounded by people who cheer for your kid louder than you do yourself. It’s about being lucky enough to have a pack of moms who will care for your child in your absence and send you pics and videos of what you are missing when you...

Keep Reading

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

In: Motherhood

Little boy sitting at table talking to adult

I thought the experts were going to fix my child. I didn’t say that out loud. But it was there…quiet, desperate, sitting underneath every question I asked. If I just found the right strategy… If I just understood ADHD well enough… If I just listened hard enough… Maybe the meltdowns would stop. Maybe the chaos would settle. Maybe I would finally feel like I knew what I was doing. So I started asking questions. Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to interview ADHD experts (clinicians, researchers, specialists) through my podcast. And I showed up to every conversation like...

Keep Reading

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

In: Motherhood

Some moments in motherhood stay with you. First steps. Preschool graduation. A first dance recital. And then there are harder times. The ones that do not make it into photo albums. The moments when the world feels too big and your child feels painfully misunderstood. When you are parenting a child with a disability, those moments tend to find you more often. This day should have felt like a win. My son had just met a goal in therapy. We walked out of his OT’s office smiling, carrying a page full of lopsided circles that had never looked more perfect...

Keep Reading

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

In: Motherhood

I don’t think people truly believe me when I say I came back from the depths of hell after having my son. Birth is often portrayed as pure bliss. The moment a mother holds her baby and instantly falls in love. Life quickly returns to normal. Even in real life, new moms can look like they’ve settled into motherhood with ease. But what no one talks about is the ugly, incredibly hard side of it. Not every mom experiences postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. For some, it really is bliss. But for many of us, it becomes a fight for...

Keep Reading

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

In: Motherhood

Little boy playing with toys on the floor alone

There is a moment nobody warns you about. Not the sleepless nights. Not the feeding schedules. Not the endless cycle of laundry and worry that comes with keeping a tiny human alive. Those parts everyone mentions. The part nobody mentions is the moment you realize your child has started becoming his own person. And you are standing there watching it happen, equal parts proud and completely unprepared. My son is two years old. And lately he has been leaving the room. Not in a concerning way. In a he has somewhere to be kind of way. He will be in...

Keep Reading

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

In: Motherhood

I remember the exact moment it hit me. I was talking to a young girl, the kind everyone praises. She was polite, well spoken, respectful. The kind of girl people point to and say, “She’s so confident.” So I asked her a question I knew would reveal more than her smile ever could: “What do you do when something doesn’t feel right?” She froze. Not in a dramatic way, but in a quiet, almost invisible way. She looked down, shifted her weight, then looked back up at me, searching my face like the answer might be written there. Because she...

Keep Reading

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

In: Motherhood

After the traumatic birth of my daughter, I searched for others who had experienced vasa previa, but most of what I found were support groups for stillbirth. It’s easy to understand why; vasa previa is one of the most preventable causes of stillbirth, and yet most people, including most pregnant women, have never heard of it. My daughter is almost three years old, and I still carry a complicated guilt about that: why did we get to be the lucky ones? I want to share my story—not to frighten you, but because awareness is the only thing that saves lives...

Keep Reading

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise. From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Wives of Husbands Working Long Hours

Marriage

To the Wives of Husbands Working Long Hours

We Didn't Have a Lot of Money, But We Had a Lot of Love

Living

RELATED: Dear God, I’m Just So Tired

A crippling love.

RELATED: As a Parent, I Can’t Let My Fears For My Children Win

RELATED: I’ll Take the Tired—Because Someday They Will Leave Me

My heart aches at the thought of losing them, of not having them within my reach all my life.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Suka Nasrallah

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Motherhood Has Made Me Soft

A crippling love.

My heart aches at the thought of losing them, of not having them within my reach all my life.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like