When your babies are babies, you think the days are never going to end. You’re so filled up with love for them, but oh momma, you are sooo exhausted. One day runs into the other, runs into the other, and so on. Those days are filled with feedings, diaper changes, sleepless nights, and milk-drunk smiles. You get all the firsts. The first smile. The first laugh. The first words. The first crawl. Before you know it, they’re walking. Walking turns into running.
But hold your breath momma, these are the good old days.
These long days and even longer nights turn into weeks, months, and then years. You’re finally seeing the light. These sweet little babies are sleeping through the night. They potty train. They can make their own breakfast. T-ball has started (their first real love). They start to get into their own likes and dislikes. You can see the little personality traits of one of the best humans you’ll ever know. You’ll count yourself blessed to be the one who loves them most in this world.
You’ll think life can’t possibly get any busier. You have little babies at home, you’ve got preschool, you’ve got T-ball and kindergarten roundup. You wake up one morning, and they’re off. Into the big school, they walk. Slowly, nervously, but so dang excited! While you’re encouraging them to be brave and to walk forward into their next steps, your heart is breaking just a little bit knowing the sweet baby you’re sending will come home a little older, a little wiser, and a little grumpy.
But hold your breath momma, these are the good old days.
All of a sudden they’re in junior high. They’re spending the night with friends. Working hard in school. Playing baseball. Playing on tournament teams. Getting as many reps in as they can until the daylight runs out. Laughing so hard that you laugh at their laugh until you cry. They sing their favorite music around the dinner table (it will NOT be your favorite). They talk about the cute kids in class. Who is “dating” whom. They have their first school dance. Their first sports tryouts. They have their first boy-girl parties.
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You find this baby, your baby, is turning into a little mini man. He wants to be grown up, but he just isn’t. One day he acts like a man, makes decisions like a man, and in the next breath, you see the 12-year-old he really is.
You’re running ragged, momma. You’ve got brother’s little league games, junior high games, and sisters who are tired of all the games. You’ve got tears, frustration, and anger because he doesn’t quite know what to do with all these big emotions just yet.
Hold your breath momma, these are the good old days.
Finally, the days you just couldn’t ever imagine actually happening are here. All the last firsts. The last first day of school. The last first football game. The last first homecoming.
The list of last firsts could go on and on.
In our house, the last first game of his last season of baseball—that one will stay with me for a long long time. It was tough. It was so good but so tough. The house was buzzing, we had our blankets ready, we had our blue and gold spirit clothes on. We. Were. Ready. It was so good to see these young men take the field for the last first time together as a team again. His last first swing of the season. His last first home run of the game. His last first strikeout of the season. His last first win. His last first loss. His last firsts of a long list of last firsts.
As the momma, you know you can rationalize that the last first game leads into the last season and the last season comes to an end with the last game, eventually. But really you think this season is going to last a little longer. This season of baseball and this season of life.
This season when you have all your babies at home. When you know the schedule they keep. This season has been filled with busy mornings, packed afternoons, and crazy nights. This season of life that is quickly and permanently slipping through your clutched tight momma hands. Hoping to grasp every little memory.
Hold your breath momma, these are the good old days.
We don’t know what the future holds for our babies. I don’t think I would want to know.
I’ve loved every minute of living these good old days with them.
As this season of life comes to a close, I keep seeing my sweet baby boy throwing a baseball up for himself to hit all while wearing a snowsuit, looking over his shoulder with the very biggest grin to make sure his daddy and I were watching him. The love of baseball is so natural to this baby. It’s as natural as eating or breathing. It was such a sweet blessing to watch him develop his love and raw talent for this game.
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Tonight, I got to hug and love on my baby who is now a full-grown man as he (and his daddy and I) struggled with the emotions of him never wearing the uniform or stepping onto the field as a player ever again. Never again playing the game with the boys he loves. His first love has always been baseball, but it won’t be his last love.
I’m holding my breath knowing these are the good old days. I’m also looking forward to his bright future. I can’t wait to see the man he becomes. While I love baseball and these good old days, I love him more.
Signed,
A momma living all the good old days