Of all the titles you hold in your life, which one gives you the most satisfaction and significance? Which title makes you feel the most important, valued, and accomplished?
Is it your role as a mother?
Or does successful entrepreneur, designer, author, manager, minister, or blogger come to mind first?
I know for me, it wasn’t mother.
As moms, we love our titles like working mom, mompreneur, work-at-home mom, mom boss, mom blogger, and stay-at-home mom.
As if describing ourselves as “Mom” alone isn’t enough.
As girls, we’re bred with ambition like it’s in our milk as infants. And while I’m an extremely ambitious woman myself and equally teach my two girls to be the same, I had a very misguided perspective about how to actually be a mother today.
Maybe you do, too?
I’m that mom who always dreamed of being a mother since as far back as I can remember. As a little girl, I had more dolls than what made sense. And as I grew into a young woman that desire only grew stronger.
It took us four-and-a-half agonizing years to get pregnant with our first child. And we lost our second baby at 13 weeks due to a heart-wrenching miscarriage. But my motherhood dream finally came true and I’m now a mom to three amazing kids. I’m seriously grateful!
But something kept haunting me along my motherhood journey; I was living in a daily tug-of-war battle in my soul.
Deep inside I was fighting with myself for significance.
I saw busy working moms, mompreneurs, and other seemingly powerful women being praised for having it all and doing it all.
They were doing such cool, important work and I was home wiping noses and heating up chicken nuggets all day.
And while I also had to work for a living, the work I did was unglamorous and done in the fringe hours while my kids slept. I was exhausted, uninspired, and ultimately unaware of the blessing I had right in front of me.
There was an aching in my heart and an emptiness I could never quite fill until one day I had one of those aha! moments talking to a friend.
I realized that my value as a mom and my value in my work are not one in the same. And they shouldn’t be.
In fact, it became clear that it doesn’t matter at all what I do in my work—I’m already living my dream. I’m a mother.
I decided to stop apologizing for and undervaluing my role as a mom.
I started to fully embrace the crazy, messy, and beautifully significant world of motherhood.
Being a mom has a whole lot less to do with what we do and how we do it—but everything to do with what’s in our heart.
Motherhood doesn’t require perfection, it just requires your whole heart.
I’m so far from perfect. Even now, I’m that mom who’s always forgetting permission slips, showing up late or even on the wrong day for appointments, and never seems to pack enough snacks for my kids on days out.
On many days, I feel like a real mess.
But even with all that glaring imperfection, I’ve finally found true joy and fulfillment in motherhood and life.
I made it a point in the last few years to be fully present and invested in my kids. To fully embrace just how valuable and fleeting the title “Mom” really is—to me, to my family, and to this world.
I now understand that my value as a mom isn’t about the things I “do” but about who I choose to be.
I choose to be an amazing Mom!
I choose to lay down the guilt, the opinions of others, my doubts, my insecurities, and my ambitions that all work together to strangle my freedom and steal my joy as a mom.
I choose to ignore the lies that the work I do for my family is less valuable than the words I write or the work I create.
I choose to stop comparing myself to all the other seemingly more-together moms I know or scroll by on Instagram.
I choose now to honor and respect motherhood the way it deserves.
Are you with me?
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