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Motherhood, oh Motherhood, you have truly crushed my expectations. I saw you differently from a distance while I waited for you to beckon. But now we are close friends and Motherhood, you are very, very different.

I truly thought you would be more glamorous. Somehow I imagined us a little more put together. I thought we would stay trendy and up with the latest, but I’m afraid those dreams have been shattered. You came into my life and suddenly the dirty bun sitting high on my head was a daily companion. Forget about trendy clothes because all I seem to wear is snot, spit up, poop and smeared peanut butter toast. I really thought you would be more glamorous. Oh Motherhood, Motherhood I was so very wrong.

You beckoned me with beautiful swaddles and dainty bows but, oh Motherhood, you didn’t mention the years of sleeplessness. You forgot to mention colicky babies, weight gain charts and breast tenderness. Or maybe you did mention it, before we became friends and at the time I just didn’t listen. You neglected to tell me about the toddler’s excessive crying that could literally drive someone mad. The throwing of food and snotty noses leaves no room for glamour in our friendship. Motherhood oh Motherhood, I really pictured you different.

Don’t get me wrong I’m thankful you came knocking; my entire world has changed because of you. I am learning a lot thanks to you, about the life lived in-between. I’m learning the meaningful moments are not on the stage when she completes her first recital, nor when your little guy makes the winning goal. The moments that shape them and me, the ones that really sink deep, are the everyday moments lived in-between. The life that is lived from school to home, the long weekends with family, the dinner table conversations, the cooking and the cleaning, the playing a game or going to the park, the fun treat and the tucking in at night—these are the moments lived in-between.

Motherhood, you are teaching me to not take life so seriously; to let loose and laugh a little more often. You tell me the laundry will be there tomorrow, but their little hearts need tending. You keep reminding me that grace is better than glamour, so daily cling tightly to it. Be present, be present, be present I hear for they will quickly be grown and far away.

Motherhood oh Motherhood, you are different than I imagined.

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AJ Wilson

I am a wife and mommy to three who came to my arms through adoption. My husband and I have lived in Africa, Texas and Alabama in our short 4.5 years of marraige. Living in the villages of Africa, fostering and adopting in the States all while traveling deeper into the heart of God has been themes of our last few years.   

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