Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I remember feeling so excited yet nervous when Jeff and I found out we were moving to St. Louis. He was recruited out of college to work for SBC in Telecommunications when the market for that industry was on fire. We were newlyweds, married less than a year, and had never lived more than 30 miles from home. I hadn’t experienced homesickness before and when my family left after helping us move, I felt my feelings of excitement disappear. The tears began to flow like a river.

I cried a lot in St. Louis. I began to make friends and learned to conquer three and four lane highways and tolerate traffic jams. But I kept wondering when we’d go home, and why we were living here. The homesickness never left.

Jeff and I talked about starting a family early in our marriage but we weren’t sure if that was a smart idea having just moved with a new career. In my mind if I just got pregnant and we had a baby then I wouldn’t be so lonely, and I would feel happier. All I have ever wanted in life was to be a Mom  and if we had a baby then I would be living out my life’s purpose. We started trying to get pregnant shortly after we moved there with no success.

That wasn’t helping my sadness. 

It was supposed to be easy and so much fun trying, but after six long months it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t as fun anymore. We tried and tried and every test would come up negative. I visited my doctor and was placed on Clomid. I can’t remember exactly how many rounds I took, but I do know it made me break out with acne, made me extremely moody, gave me an ovarian cyst and unfortunately did not get me pregnant. It was supposed to be an easy fix, just a little pill to help me ovulate and get things going.

There was something else wrong. I just knew. 

Jeff insisted on being patient, but I think he agreed to see the doctor in a desperate attempt to do anything to make his wife happy. We both had testing and yes there was something wrong – with both of us – low sperm count and abnormal ovulation. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that those results were not good. We were told that the only way to get pregnant was through In Vitro Fertilization (words that were completely foreign to both of us at the time) and that it would be very unlikely for it to ever happen naturally. I could write another book just on those feelings alone with that kind of news.

We were referred to a doctor who was one of the leading doctors in Assisted Reproductive Technology, Dr. Sherman Silber. He had written several books on the subject and worked alongside the scientists, researchers, and doctors in Belgium perfecting the science behind In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and had a list of credentials a mile long. He just happened to be a colleague of our OB/GYN who had done our infertility testing. He had the connection to him and could refer us. This doctor had a long waiting list to get in but because of their relationship we were able to get an appointment within a few weeks. At the time I remember thinking “it’s great that we live in St. Louis so close to this amazing doctor.”  I now know that God had his hand in that the whole time! We met him, fell in love with him and dove in to our first experience with IVF. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into but we did it anyway.

The next few months were shots, ultrasounds, tests, more shots, more ultrasounds and finally our big IVF procedure. The whole time we didn’t understand all of what we were doing. We were just going through the motions doing whatever was necessary to start a family. It was painful. I gained weight like it was my job. I was miserable. My stomach was huge from my ovaries overproducing eggs. My butt was sore from all of the shots that I had to take. My modesty had gone out the window with all of the people who were constantly doing ultrasounds and monitoring my follicle sizes. Our privacy about the matter was also gone because this required a lot of time off from work to do all of the tests and we had to explain that somehow.

But, I kept going because I wanted to be a Mom, period.

perfect infertility quote


So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Shannon Bauer

Shannon is a wife to her husband Jeff, mother to her son Jayden, 11 years old, and a Registered Nurse by day. She grew up on a farm outside of Wilcox and now resides in Hildreth, NE. She enjoys exercising, cheering for her son at his sporting events, shopping, singing, gardening, sipping a cup of coffee, Sunday dinners with her family, and spending time with friends. Her road to motherhood has been a challenging and bumpy one with many highs and lows and something she will never take for granted. Learning about infertility and helping others experiencing it is a passion she holds deep in her heart. Her journey along this road is a constant work in progress and something she is growing and learning from every day. It is her goal to one day write a book or start a blog telling her story. She and her son Jayden share their favorite bible verse Phillipians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and find great comfort in these words in life’s challenging moments.

Lent For Kids: 40 Ways To Spend 40 Days

In: Featured, Kids
Cross with bird

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season leading to Easter. Our 3-year-old has been talking about the Easter bunny since January, when he finally understood that Christmas was over. While I’m happy he’s excited for the upcoming holiday, I really want to find some good, concrete ways to help him learn that this time of year is not only about bunnies and candy in eggs. So, I’ve decided to come up with 40 ways to spend the 40 days of Lent with kids. Some of these will work better with older children, while others are great for...

Keep Reading

Chocolate Pot de Crème

In: Featured, Kitchen

Chocolate and romance go hand in hand and with Valentine’s Day around the bend, why not have a beautifully simple and romantic dessert on the menu? With Valentine’s Day falling on a Saturday, it might be a little more difficult to get those reservations to go out to eat to celebrate. If you end up staying home, why not have an easy, romantic dessert to finish your meal? Made in a blender or food processor and refrigerated, this recipe is easy to make and the result can be a beautiful and elegant dessert that will put the perfect cap on...

Keep Reading

Creamy Chicken and Rice Soup

In: Featured, Kitchen

Written By:  Rachel Gnagy @ Inscribed Photography & Design (recipe originally from here) One of my favorite ‘girly’ meals to make is soup served in bread bowls. I love getting the Broccoli Cheese soup at Quizno’s (it’s healthy because it has broccoli, right?) and Panera’s Cream of Chicken & Wild Rice soup. YUM. So when I saw a recipe on Pinterest for creamy chicken and rice soup, I thought I would give it a try! You will need: 1 Tablespoon of olive oil 2-3 carrots, sliced 2 cloves of garlic, minced 5 cups of chicken stock 1 cup of cooked chicken,...

Keep Reading

Chicken Cordon Bleu for Two

In: Featured, Kitchen

Written By:  Rachel @ Inscribed Photography (Recipe originally from here) Valentine’s Day is coming up and with that in mind I wanted to bring you an easy, delicious meal for you and your special man. This recipe is by far the easiest Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe and it is super yummy too! Pair it with some steamed veggies on the side and something chocolatey for dessert and you’re all set for a romantic dinner for two. For the chicken, you will need: 2 chicken breasts, cut in half lengthwise 8 slices of deli ham 8 slices of Swiss cheese 1...

Keep Reading

Easy Weeknight Beef Stroganoff

In: Featured, Kitchen

We all have those heirloom recipes we grew up with, but when you get married you inherit a whole new set of recipes your spouse grew up with, too. This stroganoff recipe is one that my husband grew up eating and then cooked frequently for himself before I took over in the kitchen. (ha.) He made it for me once while we were dating, and I will admit – I was super skeptical. Generally, these sorts of humble dishes aren’t my cup of tea – the ones made with cream-of canned soups and noodles. However, I tried it and was...

Keep Reading

Hanging Onto Hope: The Dream That Saved My Baby Girl

In: Faith, Featured, Journal, Kids
Hanging Onto Hope: The Dream That Saved My Baby Girl www.herviewfromhome.com

Family and friends often assure pregnant women that their “maternal instincts” can be relied on to guide them into motherhood. This previously undiscovered gift will reveal itself the first time she holds her child. As a mother of four I believe in this instinct, but also recognize that experience and wisdom help. The birth of our fifth child, Kinsley, has introduced me to another source of guidance and strength that I never anticipated. Kinsley was born the day after Christmas. She was pink, beautiful and certified by the medical staff as being in perfect health. She was welcomed with unconditional...

Keep Reading

Bow Your Head and Vote, Yes the Outcome is Rigged

In: Featured
Bow Your Head and Vote, Yes the Outcome is Rigged www.herviewfromhome.com

“Keep in mind this is God’s plan! And who am I to dare question God’s plan!” I say it over and over as I watch this mess unfold before me. This mess, America is calling an election. I have never been impressed with the two-party system. It allows too much power to a select few and limits our freedoms. So, as I watch and listen and pray, as Trump and Clinton march to the White House, I only hope more Americans now see the disaster that is the two-party system. Two people that should be sitting in jail are now...

Keep Reading

This Kick-Ass Cancer Survivor Shares 20 Easy Ways To Make Your Life Healthier Today

In: Featured, Health, Healthy Living, Mental Health, Motherhood
This Kick-Ass Cancer Survivor Shares 20 Easy Ways To Make Your Life Healthier Today www.herviewfromhome.com

I recently went through quite an experience with my health. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September of 2015. Following my diagnosis, I underwent a treatment regimen of chemotherapy, double mastectomy, and then, 28 rounds of radiation.  Before my diagnosis, I felt the healthiest I have probably, in my whole life. I was exercising regularly. Eating, conscious of my health. And after birthing three kids in 6 years, finding ways to focus on myself once again. And then — WHAM — cancer.  Excuuuuuuuuse me?!?! Cancer?!? I was, for all intents and purposes, a 33-year-old with great habits and a great...

Keep Reading

The Great Melt Down

In: Faith, Featured, Kids, Kitchen
The Great Melt Down www.herviewfromhome.com

When my brother Bobby and I were little kids, one of the great treats of summer was a journey to a neighboring town where my dad would buy each of us a hand-dipped ice cream cone. During the drive home, my mom would turn around from the front seat and point out drips that we back-seat-riders needed to lick up quick. I, the ever-eager pleaser, would anxiously eat my ice cream as quickly as possible, barely taking a breath between licks. Bobby, on the other hand, came up with the more reasonable response. He would grin at Mom and bite...

Keep Reading

The Best (and free) Drug Prevention Strategy

In: Featured, Health, Healthy Living, Kids, Relationships
The Best (and free) Drug Prevention Strategy www.herviewfromhome.com

A secret Facebook group has been uncovered by police that connects kids as young as 12 years-old to places where they can buy drugs. (see the link to the story at the end of this blog)  Shocking? Yes. Surprising? No. Kids find a way, don’t they? So what can we do? There are apps we can buy. There are rules we can make. There are punishments we can deliver.  Yet the best prevention of all is our relationship with our young people.  Time together, conversation, and honest sharing of our lives is the most effective way to influence our kids–even...

Keep Reading