By Stephanie McCoy 
“Honey, nobody can read your mind. You have to let people know what you’re thinking.”
“Make sure to always have something on your calendar. Whether it’s something as small as a lunch with a friend, or as big as a fabulous vacation. Life can get really hard, and it’s important to always have something to look forward to.”
“Ugh . . . litterbugs!”
These three sayings were delivered to me on a regular basis by my mother. They have guided me, warmed my heart, and taken up space in my head my whole life. These phrases became much more meaningful after we unexpectedly lost my dear mom four years ago.
The best part about me carrying and embracing this advice is that I have passed it along to my young children. My kids encourage others to speak their minds because “no one can read your mind!” They mark their calendars in their rooms with playdates, vacations, and important events. And they most definitely shout at the top of their lungs, “Ugh! Litterbugs!” when they see litter on the ground.
My kids were lucky enough to get to know my mom. We lost her when my oldest was six and my youngest was four. Although they may lose the memories a little as they grow, right now, they remember her clear as day. Social media has been huge in preserving her memory because we often see pictures and videos from years ago and it refreshes the kids’ memory.
We talk about her nearly every day. As a lover of all things nature, it’s easy to think about her when we see a beautiful flower, an interesting animal, or go somewhere that we’ve never been on vacation.
Her kindness was out of this world. She passed that along to the kids by leading by example. She struck up conversations with strangers in the grocery store line, she threw out bread each morning to feed hundreds of crows, she even took her Uber driver out to a nice breakfast while they waited for her doctor’s office to open. One of her acts of kindness that still makes my heart melt is that she would clip coupons for things she didn’t even use, and leave them in front of the designated product at the grocery store for others to use. Who does that? My mom, that’s who.
One particular incident that happened right after my mom passed showed me that my young kids would continue to be influenced by my mom even after her death. We were at our neighborhood McDonald’s. My kids and I were sitting down to some pancakes and having a lovely breakfast when all of a sudden, a man who was obviously homeless shouted to me, “Go get me a spoon!”
He was eating next to us and just suddenly barked the request at me. I know I should have shown understanding and empathy, but instead, my mouth dropped at his bluntness. As I sat there stunned, my daughter leaped up from her seat, grabbed him a spoon, and brought it over to him with a smile and a “Here ya go, sir!” He snatched the spoon from her and didn’t say a word. She didn’t care. She bounced back over to our seats and started shoveling pancakes in her mouth.
I asked her why she decided to do it. She said, “Grandma definitely would have.” Tears filled my eyes and my heart pretty much liquified. Here I was, drowning in grief and trauma from the unexpected loss of my mom, and it seemed my mom was helping me with my kids from all the way up in Heaven.
A legacy is defined as “the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. That took place in the past, or of a person’s life.” My mom’s legacy absolutely affects me and my kids every single day. My mom’s expectations of us to show kindness, empathy, and understanding influence the choices we make every day. I’m grateful that my kids will still talk to her too, especially about litter. We regularly pick up litter, throw it in a bin, and say, “We got it, Grandma!”
It brings me contentment when I think of her beaming with pride as she watches her grandkids down here. Not only did she influence them in their young lives when she was here on earth, but she is still influencing them and their choices long after she entered Heaven.
Mom, we promise to continue 1) encouraging people to speak their minds 2) enjoy all that life has to offer, whether it’s a lunch with friends or a vacation, and 3) we will continue to bust those litterbugs and keep the earth clean! We love you Mom, and the legacy you have blessed the earth with.
by Nikki Pennington 
by Chelsea Ohlemiller 
