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Grief, Loss

My Mom Was My Best Friend and Her Death Left a Hole

  • 3  Minute Read
bride and mother, posing and smiling together, color photo
Sara Hand

Since my mom died almost two years ago, my life has mostly been defined by the word “loneliness.” However, in the last few months, something has begun to shift inside me. I don’t know if it’s because more people are praying for me or if time has begun to change my perspective. But whatever the case, I have started to make peace with the fact that life is going to be different without my mom around.

It’s going to be different, but it doesn’t have to be a bad different. I can choose to make it a good different. There are not many people beyond mothers who see the good, bad, and ugly in you and still want to be around you; maybe that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.

RELATED: Don’t Take Your Mom For Granted—I’d Give Anything to Have Mine Back

I made the mistake of thinking that with time I could find a new friend who I could freely vent to and share all my secrets with like I did with my mom, but I don’t think it will ever be that simple. Because no one can fill the void your mother leaves behind. And so, I have begun to make peace with the fact that I may never again have a deep friendship with anyone like I did with my mom, but I can make the effort to broaden my friendships and make connections in a variety of ways.

One friend can be my go-to for talking about motherhood while another friend can be the one I talk to about marriage and work. Still another friend can be the one I discuss grief with. And of course, you need a friend you can talk to about books, movies, and shocking reality TV. While I may not have one friend who can be all things to me anymore, I can have many friends who connect with me in different ways.

RELATED: My Mom Was My Best Friend and Now that She’s Gone, I’m Lonely

Because at the end of the day, God is the only one who can be all things to me. Maybe He gives us mothers to help us see the beauty in allowing one person to be our constant. And when our mothers pass away, we can view it as an invitation from God to let Him be the new constant in our lives. With time, I am learning to accept that invitation.

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Articles by Sara Hand

Sara Hand

I'm a wife, mother, and follower of Christ. When I'm not working full-time in a library or spending quality time with family, I enjoy reading romance novels, watching terrible reality TV, and playing non-violent video games. Occasionally, I clean the house and cook when it cannot be avoided. 

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