My dad was sick for a long time, but still, no one prepares you for that moment. The soul-crushing phone call that says it doesn’t look promising anymore. That moment when your entire world crashes, and you’re in your bedroom closet on your knees in uncontrollable tears while a friend who just happened to call at that very moment prays over you and your family. I got up, and off I went to spend the last 24 hours of my dad’s life with him.

Trauma is interesting, it sticks in your brain like glue, you remember every moment and every detail like it happened yesterday. The days following my dad’s passing, I had what I described as nightmares, remembering every single detail of his last moments. I would wake up in tears, wondering if the nightmares would ever go away.

RELATED: To Those Who Know the Bitter Hurt of Losing a Parent

Someone told me something that at the time but it only sank into the first layer of my understanding because when you are in those first stages of loss, everything is really quite a blur. However, it stuck with me, and to this day, I am grateful for whoever it was who said these words to me: “There is a beautiful privilege in watching a parent transition to the other side, knowing that they are now in the glory of our great God, with the King of Kings.” Wow. How do you even soak that in?

I’m approaching two years since you have been gone. I was by your side moment by moment. I sat by your bed in the hospital and held your hand. I sat with you while you were on hospice and the caretaker explained to me the noises you were making meant the end was near. I slept in the room with you that last night and woke up with every single noise you made, scared it was your last. That next day I sat there until you took your final breath on earth and entered into that beautiful heavenly kingdom I so long to see and share with you for eternity.

RELATED: When a Parent Dies, Part of Your Heart Will Always Be Broken

Grief. There are so many layers, and no one can quite explain it to you until you experience it. It’s not a club you want to be in, but once you’re there, it’s something that connects you to people on a level only they can truly feel without any words—what you felt, feel, love, lost.

This one’s for you, Dad. Your memories will never fade and your presence will always be with us. We all can’t wait for the day we get to reunite again.