Come down here, yep, right.down.here. Stand up, shake it off, and walk down judgement hill. Even if its a slow, unapproachable, unsure walk—do it, because I promise the grass IS GREENER on this side. We are kind, we don’t bite, and there will probably be an extra glass of wine waiting for you.
I will be the first to tell you, and them, I am not a perfect mother. Sometimes I forget to drown my kids in sunscreen before we go outside, or put hats on them when it’s too windy. Just today I lied to my 3-year-old and told him everyone in the whole world does quiet time, it’s required and against the law if he doesn’t do it. I bribe my kids with loads, and loads of fruit snacks. AND, we do screen time, sometimes more than 1 hour a day… can you even believe that?!
If it sounds like I am relishing in these mommy flaws, I am not. If it sounds like I am being slightly sarcastic about some things that place judgement on our parenting, I am. Let me tell you, I decided about a year into motherhood that I needed to embrace the hot mess that I was becoming. Before we had our first son, I had an idea of how this was all supposed to go. I considered giving birth naturally (epidural both times), definitely was gonna breastfeed (lasted a month), make my own baby food (have you tried Plum Organics?), and our kids would eat everything we put in front of them (my 3-year-old only lives off dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets). I would have no part of the “mom bod” club—-gross, how could these women let themselves go (my entire closet is leggings and sometimes I still wear post-pregnancy granny panties)? Our kids were never going to act out, or make a scene in public (look for me in Target with one kid crying in the cart and the other heaved over my shoulder, screaming). Most of all, life wasnt going to revolve around the kids… uh, no, we cant come to lunch (who schedules something between 1-3PM anyways?!?!).
Then I ate a big ol’ piece of humble pie. Which apparently all mommies do not partake in.
There have been countless times I have received eye rolls, stares, and side glances because of some parenting decision that another mother, or soon-to-be mother thought was not quite up to standard.
Why? What is the point?
Unless you see someone legitimately abusing their child, being negligent, or seriously putting them in harms way—take that stroll, you know, the one right down judgement hill. Because at the end of the day I truly believe we are all giving this our best shot. We are not perfect, not even close, and we know it. We probably all doubt ourselves more than we should, and use google or webMD for more parenting questions than is normal. But it’s because we care. Because we see these beautiful little people we love more than a toned tummy, and don’t want to ruin them. And we doubt ourselves more than we should in part because of those eye rolls, or double takes. So unless you suffer from a bad case of RBF, do me a favor—smile, and be kind to each other.