Gather round, fellow child-raisers, and join me for a moment of silence twenty-unbefreakinglievable-three years in the making:

That whiny, inexplicably bald, perpetually petulant preschooler Caillou has been canceled.  

And all God’s parents said, “WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?” 

PBS casually dropped the news this week that the long-running children’s show (the first episode aired on television in 1997!) best known for torturing parents with a 4-year-old’s tantrums and incessant whining was getting the axe: 

I’m not exactly sure why we parents have such a visceral reaction to this seemingly innocent cartoon child—I don’t make the rules here (come to think of it, neither did Caillou’s parents). But it’s a universal truth: mention the name “Caillou” to parents of toddlers and they’ll recoil in instinctual horror. That voice . . . that theme song (“I’m just a kid who’s four/Each day I grow some more/I like exploring/I’m Caiiiiii-oooooo”) that constant whining. 

Have I mentioned the constant whining? 

I’m not lying when I say we actually banned any and all viewing of Caillou in our house. 

The response to Caillou’s cancel was exactly what you’d expect from a weary bunch of parents who’ve basically had it up to here with absolutely everything in recent months. 

I think I speak for all parents when I say just a few days into a new year that’s already told 2020, “Here, hold my beer,” we’ll take all the good news we can get. 

See ya never, Caillou! 

Carolyn Moore

Carolyn traded a career in local TV news for a gig as a stay-at-home mom, where the days are just as busy and the pay is only slightly worse. She lives in flyover country with her husband and four young kids, and occasionally writes about raising them at Assignment Mom