Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

My daughter was born a little over a year ago, and much to my surprise most everything that everyone had told me up until that point turned out to be true. It will be fun, it will be hard, being a parent isn’t always easy, when you finally see that sweet little face…, and all those sorts of things.

Sure, I knew that I wanted to grow up, marry, and have a family of my own, but my path was becoming more and more different as the years passed.  My wife and I married in my late 30s and we struggled a bit with pregnancy—it was seemingly not going to happen. And I was becoming OK with that.

Then it did!

But what was I to make of becoming a father after 40?

By the time my father was 34 he had three children of his own, and a vast number of changes had taken place since then. I guess you might say I felt a little outdated or even old fashioned. I would find myself thinking about what my childhood was like, and then trying to apply it now.

Didn’t work.

Sometimes it felt like some sort of odd culture shock. I guess cutting pictures out of an old Sears catalog and gluing them to typing paper to create a Christmas list no longer applied here.

I needed to make a transition.

Even though I had received all those little tidbits of information and pieces of advice, my vision for the future looked a bit different. I was going to be a first-time father after 40, and I didn’t know what that meant.

I would celebrate with other friends and their families—baby showers, weddings, graduations, etc. I would scroll endlessly through social media to find that many high school and college classmates were becoming parents for the third or fourth time, some even becoming grandparents. I somewhat felt as if I would be showing up late to the dinner table.

Really late.

Through the process of acquiring the toys, the clothes, and all of the other necessities, there was no surprise again that no one had heard of Lincoln Logs or Pick-Up Sticks.

At this point, I wasn’t sure if I was more hesitant about becoming a father at this age, or the fact that things I thought were applicable no longer mattered.

Still, even this far in, I find myself asking people, “Is that a thing?”

What was being a first-time father after 40 going to look like for me? I mean, let’s face it, my mind automatically goes to high school graduation, and how old I will be then.  I would be lying if I said the thought of not being there in those pivotal moments for a young adult never crossed my mind.

However, something truly grabs a hold of you as a parent of a small child. You might even say there is something buried deep within all of us—that if we carefully peeled back the years, we would find there is really no specific age needed to inspire a child.

I began to research being a father after 40—how common it was, and if there were any other fathers out there experiencing the same things that I was. There didn’t seem to be any shortage of health issues for men over 40, either.

Much to my surprise, I wasn’t alone.

Actually, becoming a father after the age of 40 was more common than I thought, so I did feel a sigh of relief.

So yes, being a first-time father over the age of 40 is different, but so is being a first-time father in your 20s.

I often think of age as tiers of well-seasoned knowledge, and as long as your children are young, the only thing they will remember is that you simply showed up.

It will be fun, it will be hard, but it will also be worthwhile. I can teach her how to play Pick-Up Sticks, or how when I was young we would use the Dewey Decimal System to locate our books.

You will never be too old to say, “Back in my day,” and you won’t have to “ask for a friend” because you know that being a dad gives you everything that you need no matter what your age is.

Take care of yourself both physically and mentally, and even though sometimes you might find it difficult, make time for yourself!

So embrace this new stage at a different age, be present in the memories, and don’t overlook the teachable moments for yourself or your child. Your child will be their best when you are at yours.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Travis Nance

Travis was born and raised in Kansas, and currently lives in Northwest Arkansas with his wife and daughter. He works full-time in the transportation industry, dabbles in some photography, and shares a blog with his wife at  A place where they eat, travel, and parent their way through life.

My Dad Showed Me the Greatest Lessons Are Taught Through Example

In: Fatherhood
grandpa holding donut box with grandson

Waiting at the window, I arranged the blue ruffles on my brand new dress and flipped my hair around to look just right. It was a night to be fancy. It was my first date. My face was flushed as I looked forward to the night ahead. I knew it was a big deal to be taken out and I would get special treatment. I would pick the restaurant and maybe we would have some ice cream and walk around downtown before the sun went down. After that, I was pretty sure we could go to the store and that...

Keep Reading

It Doesn’t Matter How Old I Am—I’ll Always Need My Daddy

In: Fatherhood, Grown Children, Living
Vintage photo of little girl on bike with her dad

I have always been a Daddy’s girl, much to my mom’s frustration.  She always said my dad and I were wired the same, and that’s why it’s always just “worked.” Sure, we have had our struggles and frustrations—when two people think almost the exact same way, certainly there will be battles. But my dad has always had my back, without fail.   Whether he had to question a school decision or staff my senior class retreat (yes, my dad is featured in my high school yearbook), I knew he would be there. He thought he would lose me someday, that having...

Keep Reading

I’m Just a Little Boy, but Daddy You’re Teaching Me How to Be a Man

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Daddy on the floor playing with son, color photo

I’m only a little boy, still too young to tie my own shoes or make my own breakfast. My days are filled with playtime, snacks, lots of hugs from Mommy, and plenty of tickles from you, Daddy. Right now, my life revolves around me and you and Mommy. I don’t know much about the world outside our home yet. I haven’t learned about responsibility or self-discipline or sacrifice. I haven’t had to find my place in the world yet. But I guess I’m pretty lucky because even though you may not know it, you’ve already begun teaching me everything I...

Keep Reading

You’re the Father You Never Had and I’m So Proud of You

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Dad and kids walking on beach

Can I tell you about my husband? He’s amazing. He’s kind and doting and loves Jesus, but perhaps his most endearing trait is the absolutely incredible father he is.  In our early days of dating, he was crippled by the fear of what type of father he would be. To him, fatherhood was burdensome, grumbling, abandonment, and fighting for the final dollar during tax season. His experience as a son crippled his anticipation as a father.  But I knew it all along—what an incredible dad he would be. Although I must admit, he has often far surpassed what I even...

Keep Reading

To the Stay At Home Mom From Your Husband: I See You

In: Fatherhood, Marriage

To the woman who sacrificed her comfort zone—leaving her family, friends, and everything she’d ever known—to follow her new husband across the country for his job: I see you. To the wife who pours herself into making a house her home, only to have to move again: I see you. To the wife who put her career, education, and personal pursuits on hold for the sake of her family: I see you. To the mom who went through pain and misery for nine months, only to have motherhood turn out to be nothing like she’d dreamed and longed for it...

Keep Reading

I Struggled With My Son’s Diagnosis, But Found Hope in the Special Needs Community

In: Fatherhood, Tough Times

When I found out I was going to be a father I was beyond excited. My wife and I had been trying to conceive for years before she got pregnant. So, when she told me I was going to be a father I wanted to shout it to the rooftops! I made sure to call my wife every day at work to make sure she ate lunch. I’m sure I annoyed the heck out of her. We later found out that we were having a boy, and started to plan everything. We started to paint the baby room with blues...

Keep Reading

My Son is Growing Up, But I’ll Hold On To the Pictures Forever

In: Fatherhood

A certain part of my heart longs for these moments to never change. I look back on pictures like this one, where my oldest son tastes the salty breeze on his lips for the first time, feeling the sand underneath his toes and laughing out loud at this wholly new experience. I look back and want to freeze it, but in something more than a single picture, more solid than a flimsy memory, more lifelike in substance than what a camera can fashion. RELATED: Stay With Me a Little Longer, Daddy Because that little person who could not stand without...

Keep Reading

I Want My Sons to See How Important It is to Cover Your Wife

In: Fatherhood, Marriage

Transparent moment—I did not always do the best job of covering my wife. Early in our marriage, I was often guilty of being selfish. Our first of four childbirths had contentious moments. From the whistle I jokingly wore on our first trip to the hospital while she was in labor, to me telling her in the midst of her frustration that if we didn’t have the baby that night, she could decide if she’d go into work the next day—I’m not proud of the way I handled some of the challenges. RELATED: 5 Ways To Love Your Wife After the...

Keep Reading

Dads: Your Kids Love Doing Things Because They Get to Do Them With You

In: Fatherhood

This piece was co-written with the author’s husband, Nathan Glenn. I remember my husband taking our daughter golfing for the first time and wondering if she’d enjoy it like he did. He’d dress our kids up in Pittsburgh gear, hoping they’d love the Steelers and Pirates and Penguins as much as he does. When we imagined our someday kids, he hoped he’d have someone that would want to play catch with him and go sit on the banks for hours fishing. Now here we are over a decade into this parenting three thing, and our oldest has her own clubs...

Keep Reading

This British Dad’s Parody of Orlando Bloom’s Daily Routine Has Us Cracking Up

In: Fatherhood

Two men on the same parenting journey see things a bit differently. Read to the end for this British dad’s hilarious take on what it’s like to be a father if you’re not a famous A-list celebrity. Ever since his cinematic debut as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings film series, celebrity actor Orlando Bloom has been capturing hearts around the world. Let’s be honest, we all know why our wives were so excited when Pirates of the Caribbean hit theatres. Outside of fantasy, there’s not much that makes Mr. Bloom relatable to the average Joe. However, parenthood tends...

Keep Reading