I have something really hard to say. I don’t know how to say it because I’m still processing it all, but I do have this sense of urgency and need to say it. 
So, do me a favor. Assume the role of my best friend here. Pull up a chair, grab your drink of choice, pretend we’ve already laughed for an hour because we are headed for the tough stuff. 
Okay here goes. Almost a month ago, I lost a good friend. He took his life and it’s something I will never understand. I honestly wonder if he understands. As you can see, I’m still dealing with very raw feelings about it all. I’m upset, for lack of a better word. There is nothing that encompasses all of the emotions I’ve been experiencing quite like upset. But as my best friend, there are somethings I need to ask of you. 
DO NOT, EVER in your life, mix anything (drugs or alcohol) with any prescribed medicine. Ever! You have to promise me this! Can you promise me this? If not, then be honest with your doctors and tell them that you need to drink or smoke or whatever it is. Be honest. 
Next, I need you to go out and tell everyone else you know the same thing I just told you. Warn them that it’s not okay. Warn them that they can feel things in a way they never have before, and that’s not a good thing. Warn them that they may say and do things that would scare them if they realized what was happening. 
Now I need you to understand something. I will never judge you. It’s just not my job. You will be judged at Heaven’s door and I’m not currently living on a throne there, so it’s not my place. What is my place, is to offer a listening ear. If you don’t want it, fine, then find someone else. But talk to someone. 
It’s important for me to let you know that we ALL have our crap. We ALL experience pain and sorrow that we can’t explain. And I’m assuming that includes you. So don’t hide in a box. Don’t let yourself feel like you are any different from anyone else. You aren’t. I could list everything I’ve done or experienced, but I don’t need to because you are my best friend and you already know right? Thanks for not judging me by the way. 
Someday, I’ll tell you more about my friend. Someday I’ll show you pictures and share funny stories. But today I just need you to know where I’m at and what I’m asking of you. 
Thank you. 

Rebecca Spohr

Rebecca is a mother to a handsome 10-month-old boy and wife to her husband of 3 years. They live in Huntington Beach, California where they run two businesses out of there home, allowing them to spend lots of time with their son. Rebecca and her husband met in Olathe, Kansas and moved to California in 2006. They are still very attached to the midwest and travel to see family as much as possible.