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We all have hard days at work. Those days that push our physical, mental, and emotional limits out of bounds and don’t play fair.

18 years ago, I walked into an OB/GYN emergency room feeling like something was off, just weeks away from greeting our first child. As I reflect on that day, which seems like a lifetime ago and also just yesterday, I find myself holding space for the way my journey catalyzed a series of impossibly hard days at work for some of the people who have some of the most important jobs in the world.

RELATED: To the Nurse Who Held My Stillborn Baby

I hold space for the ultrasound technician who searched for a heartbeat that had suddenly ceased at 37 weeks.

I hold space for the doctor on call to whom she had to show that scan. The way he had to come into the room and share some of the most devastating news someone can get. How he had to break the hearts and dreams of strangers and then head back into his shift.

I hold space for the nurses who sat by my side while my husband and I stared into the empty room in shock. The ones who braved the devastation of delivery the following day, knowing there would be no cry at the end of the heartbreaking series of breaths and pushes. Who walked me out of the hospital with only my husband by my side.

I hold space for the delivery doctor who held my hand, held my heartbreak, and mustered what I imagine to be every ounce of strength, courage, and patience during the devastating hours that unfolded.

RELATED: Labor and Delivery Nurse Has a Message For Grieving Parents: We Never Forget

I hold space for the grief counselor who spoke gently, telling me so many things I couldn’t hear at that moment, but over time, came to need.

I hold space for my own doctors who had cared for me throughout my entire pregnancy. How they visited me in the hospital room, sharing the weight of my grief. They sat by my side, honoring the emptiness, the broken dream. Holding my hand, they mourned our loss alongside me.

I hold space for everyone who walked into their job on those traumatic days in my life, expecting something different. And I know that my hard day was only one of many. So I will continue to hold space in my heart for all of you and the way you show up for us when those days don’t play fair.

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So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Amy Keyes

Amy Keyes is a middle school teacher and freelance writer in St. Paul. When she's not cheering too loudly while spectating at her teenagers' sports, she's running, working out, binge watching recommended series on tv, or hanging out with her dog.

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