After eight weeks at home, I go back to my full-time job today.

I thought after spending two months at home with a newborn that I would be ready to go back to work. I was pretty certain I would get stir-crazy and that I would look forward to returning to my routine. But I’m not. Excluding sleeping, I have only spent a maximum of two hours away from my baby boy. Imagining spending eight to nine hours a day without him is agonizing and breaks my heart.

But because this day has come, I have come to treasure every moment with my little guy – even the moments that are mundane, tiresome or gross. The time has flown by so fast, and I want to remember every tiny moment before this little baby grows up.

I want to remember the way he smells; sweet like warm milk and baby soap.

I want to remember the way he grunts when he wakes up, and how he will only open one eye, earning him the nickname of little pirate.

I want to remember the little sighs and groans he makes as he falls asleep.

I want to remember the warm, solid weight of him as he curls up on my chest and dozes off. And I want to remember that I held him for as long as I wanted, even if I knew I should probably put him down for a nap.

I want to remember his strong grip, and the way he would grasp my finger or collar of my shirt.

I want to remember the hard times and the scary times; when he screamed for an entire afternoon, and I called my husband, trying to hold back my tears as he calmed me down and helped me find ways to soothe our baby.

I want to remember how all of a sudden my voice brought out smiles and giggles from my sweet boy, and how time would speed by as I made goofy faces at him, sang him songs and read him books.

I want to remember the bedtime ritual my husband and I developed where we kissed our baby, prayed over him and checked him at least three times before we could relax and go to bed.

I want to remember how his eyes would light up as we would play music and dance around together in his room.

And most of all, I want to remember that while we may not get to spend every single moment of our day together from here on out, that the moments we do get together I will make the most of them and always let him know how much he is loved.