We’ve been married for over five months now. I’m still Carrie Christensen. Right after people ask if I’m pregnant yet (NO!!!!), the inevitable next question is “are you changing your name?” Truth is, I am torn like Natalie Imbruglia on the issue (how many 90s references can I fit into this post?) Change the name or keep it? Lucky for me, I have a sweet husband who’s totally supportive either way. Here’s where the pros/cons list stands at the moment. U
Unsolicited advice is welcome… though I suppose that makes it solicited advice.
It’s a huge hassle.
First and foremost. Social security card, driver’s license, bank accounts, passport, email addresses, insurance, business cards…We gals have it rough. That’s a lot of lines to stand in and a lot of phone calls to make. Ain’t nobody got time for that. One point for the nay side.
I’m the only child.
For the last twenty-seven years I’ve been Carrie Christensen. C-squared. I’ve always liked my name and I’ve always liked sharing a name with my parents. Even though I’m terrible at sharing. I’m a bratty only child, after all. There are certainly others in my extended family that will pass the Christensen name on to their offspring, but my name is a huge part of my identity and it signifies my relationship to my parents… least that’s the way I see it.
I’m a feminist.
And I’m sure many of you are too, including those that adopted their partners’ names the day they said “I do.” But I struggle with this one. It’s old school. Maybe even outdated. It’s tradition, but there are a whole lot of stupid traditions. Is this one of them? I don’t know.
We might have kids.
Calm down, Mom and Dad. Did you even read the first paragraph? NOT PREGNANT. But it might happen. Do I want to have a different last name from the rest of my family?
New names are fun.
Carrie Malek-Madani is a cool name too. It’s memorable (once you figure out how to pronounce it). Plus, I get to completely redevelop my signature. One point for Gryffindor.
We’re a team.
That’s what marriage is all about and all teams have a name. For the same reasons sharing a name with my parents is significant, sharing a name with my husband would be too.
I know there are alternatives. I could change my last name to my middle name, but then I would have to give up my middle name. A name I share with my great grandmother, grandmother, and mom. Hyphenation is not even an option: Carrie Christensen-Malek-Madani. You must be joking.
I can’t be the only one out there who feels/felt conflicted about this, right?