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I probably took a million pictures of her . . . just this year.

Or was it just this month.

And I find myself just watching her. As I once did when I nursed her.

But she’s a teenager now. With high school right around the corner.

In the fall in fact.

RELATED: She’s 14 and I Already Miss Her

Where did the time go?

They say you blink, and your kids are all grown up. I’m finding this to be true.

My little baby girl has turned into a beautiful young woman.

Oh, how those words seem too hurried.

Can time stand still for a bit?

Because as I type, we are closing the chapter of homeschooling for her. Transitioning as we speak.

You see she was my first homeschool student five years ago, starting in fourth grade. Oh, those first years were tough. With trying to figure it all out.

We both cried, learned, and laughed together. And we also grew together.

She chartered the way for her younger siblings to follow.

RELATED: Because One Day She Will Have To Walk Away

But now she’s transitioning into private school for the high school years. As it’s been our plan since we started our homeschooling journey. To homeschool up through middle school then off to private school for the high school years.

It seems like time jumped ahead somehow.

Can time stand still for a bit?

I remember just watching her this last month of our homeschool year.

Crying a little on the inside.

Feeling like my heart was being squeezed inside my chest.

Knowing that time waits for no one.

Knowing this transition into high school will soon become the transition into college. And so on.

Can time stand still for a bit?

Oh, how I wish could have a Joshua moment, like in the Bible when God literally caused the sun to stand still so Joshua and his army could fight by day. When God literally froze time for Joshua to defeat his enemies.

Could God do that for me?

Can time stand still for a bit?

RELATED: Dear Teenage Daughter, I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You to Come Back to Me

Because I’ve read the stories. But how does a parent, a mom, truly prepare for a child, their first child to leave the nest.

I’ve come to the only conclusion that makes sense to me right now.

And that is . . . one moment at a time.

Because time won’t stand still.

And to think of how it will all pan out, to think of what I’ll feel like on the first day of high school or at college drop off is too overwhelming.

So for now I’ll just take it one moment at a time.

Knowing that God will be in all of those moments.

Helping me to let go and to trust that what has been instilled in her will shine through as she moves forward in the high school years, trusting that God’s protection is covering her, trusting that she is blossoming into the young woman God has called her to be.

One moment at a time.

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Natasha Smith

Natasha Smith is a grief advocate, wife, engineer turned homeschooler and NC native. She is an author, speaker, and podcaster, sharing stories on faith, family, and grief. Her work has appeared in Influence Magazine, Guideposts, Propel Women, Her Bible, Her View From Home, TODAY Parents, and other publications. Her new book Can You Just Sit with Me? Healthy Grieving for the Losses of Life is available now wherever books are sold. You can connect with her across social media @imnatashasmith and at imnatashasmith.com.

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