Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Nobody tells you about the grief that comes with every diagnosis. The grief that comes from seeing your child be different. 

Parents grieve the life of their child. Our minds are filled with questions. “Why my child, Lord?” “Will they have a normal life?” “Will they have a job?” “Will they have friends? Or get married?” 

We have so many questions. I was angry with God for a long time when my daughter was diagnosed with autism. Why her? Why us? Why my family?

Then, she was diagnosed with epilepsy, and I had to stay strong for her and my family, all while grieving. 

RELATED: 10 Things Your Special Needs Mom Friend Might Not Be Telling You

I’ve prayed. I’ve cried. And I’ve been angry. In the midst of it all, God is good and it’s okay to be sad. 

God knows me and my heart, and God knew I would be an amazing mother. God knew this wouldn’t be too much for me to bear. It’s not selfish to question why, but we can’t get so caught up in the what-ifs that we don’t cherish the life we have now. 

God has shown me I am stronger than I think and I’m a great mother. While some parents are taking their kids to soccer practice, I’m taking my daughter to physical therapy. When some parents are going to the mall, I’m taking my daughter to occupational therapy because she’s overstimulated constantly and has sensory issues. Some kids see their pediatrician once a year for a checkup; my daughter sees a neurologist, optometrist, and behavioral specialist every six months and has two therapies a week. 

RELATED: It’s OK to Grieve an Autism Diagnosis

My daughter can’t sit still.  My daughter doesn’t like certain shoes, and the seams on her socks have to fit a certain way. My daughter screams at the sight of fluorescent lights. My daughter talks to every adult she sees but doesn’t like kids. My daughter would rather play alone with dirt rather than play tag. And that’s okay.

God has a plan for her life. And if that plan is different than what I thought, then that’s okay because all I have to do is trust God and everything will be alright. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Savannah Hadden

I'm a wife and mother raising two daughters, ages four and two while adjusting to life after losing my mother and grandpa within a short time. I never would have dreamed my life would be how it is now . . . I am continuously grieving the death of my mother with two small children at home, while trying to remain strong for my family. I'm just trying to be a great mother while being motherless.

The Grace and Grief of Being a Medical Mama

In: Faith, Motherhood
Hospital bed and IV stand, black-and-white photo

Medical mama—this title and this view hit me. It hits me at different times and in different ways, but it hits me, hard.  Some days, I crumble with thankfulness that God has such a specific plan for my sweet, golden, middle daughter, that He would make ways where it feels there is no way.  There are other times when it hits me with anger and bitterness because I can’t figure out why, in a world full of medical interventions, this is our “fix.”  It hits me.  In the wee hours of another night in the hospital, it hits me that grace...

Keep Reading

To the Mother Facing a New Autism Diagnosis

In: Journal, Kids
To the Mother Facing a New Autism Diagnosis

Dear new autism mom, First of all, I want to say I’m sorry. Even if you’ve suspected your child has autism, having your theory confirmed hurts. It’s like a smack in the face. It feels like all of the plans you had are gone and the child you expected to have may never be possible. I’ve been there not once, but twice. I’ve had to sit through a meeting where someone breaks the news that my suspicions were correct. Despite how you might feel right now, this isn’t a death sentence; your life isn’t over. Things aren’t going to be...

Keep Reading

Dear Autism Parent, I Will Sit With You in the Dark

In: Child, Motherhood
Mom walking with son in superhero capes

I’ll sit with you in the dark. Every day. Every hour. Every minute  For as long as you need.  I’ll sit with you quietly in solidarity because I’ve traveled this road. My son, Stalen, was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at 21 months. He is now 6 and non-verbal.  RELATED: Before I Knew Autism Autism is challenging. It can be isolating and overwhelming. It is a level of hard unfamiliar to many. When I knew that Stalen was autistic, I sat in the dark a lot. I knew nothing and no one with autism. I researched and cried for days....

Keep Reading