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Oh, sweet lady! I see you there. I see you trying to smile through your pain. I see you struggling to carry your load. I know you feel ashamed. I know you feel afraid. I know it’s hard and you are hurting. I understand why you feel embarrassed and why you feel like you can’t talk about it. And I feel you pushing me away.

I want you to know that we are all gross. And even though our struggles play out differently, I am just as broken. We are all dealing with the hideousness of sin; of hurting others, of being abused, of falling short. We are all carrying shame, and I am here to help you carry yours.

I know that I have made this harder for you, because I too have not let my wounds show. You don’t see what I have hidden from you, just as you are hiding from me. You haven’t seen me in my moments of temptation to run away from my life. You haven’t seen me lose control or grasping to maintain it. You may, however, have seen my pride, but please know that I have seen it too. And It disgusts me just as much as it does you.

All of our lives have been marred by sin, either by our own doing or the result of others, and it has left us desperate to prove ourselves, to make us appear shiny. But it is futile. We may be able to hide for a while, but eventually we will run out of people to hide from, and we will find ourselves alone. Except, we are not alone. We still have to face ourselves. We still have to face our Creator. This is where the healing begins.

Thankfully, we have someone that does show His scars. How incredibly glorious! Death couldn’t hold Him, but His scars remained. We have His scars to look to when we feel alone, when we feel ashamed, and when we can’t go on. He too was marred by sin. Not His own, but ours. He freely shows us His scars, to show us that He has redeemed us.

Do you believe He can redeem your life? Do you believe He can take your filth and turn it into something beautiful? Something that will result in His light shining through you? I believe it.

You will glow with His beauty. You will walk boldly with His strength with no more fear, and no more shame.

I believe He is pursuing you in every way He can in order to have you be fully His. You may not understand all the events, or how He is working at this very moment to bring you to a deeper understanding of His love. You may even think He is working against you, punishing you. Oh sweet lady! His love for you is more intense than any lover you have ever known! It is fierce, and it is passionate. Know that He is also understanding. He knows that, in your humanity, you cannot comprehend His ways. So in these times of pain and anguish, tell Him. Yell to Him. Beat your pillow. Moan in your distress. Then rest. He will refill you. He will put you back together. You may have to go through more than you can handle, but it is never more than He can handle.

While you rest, when you can no longer pray, or fight; let me help carry you, let me pray for you. Eventually you will rise up, feeling refreshed and emboldened. You will be victorious and mighty. I will rejoice with you when that day does come. On that day, the real you, the you that you were created to be, will begin to emerge out of the shell you have used to protect yourself. I long for that day. I long to see your beauty shine to the fullest.

After you are healed, know that your scars will still be present. Please don’t mistake these as evidence that you are still broken. Your scars are part of your journey that brought you closer to your Creator. They tell who you are, and you are beautiful. The scars will help others know how much they are loved. Your scars are proof of the strength you have. Like you, your scars are lovely.

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So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Rachael Smith

I am a follower of Christ, wife of 16 years, and mom to 3 children. Pretty much I try to fit in all that I need and want to do, and somehow stay sane through it all. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't. I cry out for help often on my blog, www.ohlordhelp.us, where I share encouragement and practical advice for balancing all that we want and need to do.

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