I didn’t realize I was that mom.

That mom who raises her voice a little more often than she cares to admit because her children aren’t listening to what she’s saying. “Can you wash your hands for dinner, please!?”

That mom whose internal clock is dictated by the external clock of breakfast, lunchtime, naptime, bath time, and bedtime.

That mom who loves to get items checked off her to-do list.

That mom who tends to the mountain load of laundry and the dirty bathrooms before playing with her kids.

That mom who doesn’t like to be late and so doesn’t take a moment to empathize with her daughter’s tantrum about putting on her own shoes.

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That mom who is a little too happy that all her kids are in school now because it finally gives her time to focus on her business venture.

That mom who feels that if walls could talk, people would be shocked at how much she loses her cool every day after school.

That mom who yearns for her kids’ bedtime most days so she can have some downtime.

That mom who wishes she was the fun mom but realistically knows she will never claim that title.

That mom who is too likely too strict with her kids because that’s how she was raised.

That mom who is controlling and can’t just let things go.

That mom who sometimes resents her husband for having a job where people respect him while she is at home dealing with sass, rebelliousness, and tantrums.

That mom who compares herself to other moms who seem to have an endless supply of patience.

That mom who gets a tad annoyed when her children listen better to daddy than they do to her.

That mom who sometimes feels she’s not cut out for motherhood.

That mom who is scared she’s screwing up her kids because she’s not handling things in a better way.

That mom who is a smart, successful, driven woman in almost every aspect of her life but who is struggling to be a better mother.

That mom who wonders how she can raise strong children when she herself lacks the ability to be a strong woman at times.

That mom who often feels like a failure as a mother because she never measures up to her own expectations of motherhood.

Yet, that mom also knows she is this mom.

This mom who knows she wants to have a better relationship with her children even if she doesn’t quite know how.

This mom who knows that for all the challenging times she has faced in motherhood, she’s also experienced some incredibly beautiful moments–even if she doesn’t write about it.

This mom who knows how much she loves her kids even though she may not like what they are doing at that moment.

This mom who knows her kids love her to the moon and back no matter how many times she questions that.

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This mom who tries to forgive herself and practice self-compassion because she is human and humans make mistakes all the time.

This mom who wants to remind other moms who are also struggling, “Successful mothers are not the ones that never struggled. They are the ones that never give up despite the struggles” (Sharyn Jaynes).

This mom who wants to say to all moms reading, “You’ve got this mama.”

This mom who wants to say to that mom, thank you. Thank you for doing the best you could. That’s all I could have ever asked of you.

Wendy C

Wendy C has been married over a decade to her husband. They have three children together. She has been published on Scary Mommy and The Globe & Mail First Person.  In her spare time, she creates custom cakes and cupcakes at Wendy’s Cake Shoppe.