Standing in the low light of his room, I pause for a moment. Studying the shadows that drape across his sweet little face. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps.
I feel my heart beat a little faster. My chest fills with warmth. Butterflies stir in my stomach, and love overflows from every pore. I swear my heart could literally explode. My only thought, “Wow! I am so in love with this little boy.”
I reach down and scooped Reindeer up off the floor. At seven, I’m not sure if he really needs Reindeer as much as I want him to still need Reindeer. Regardless, I tuck him gently into the covers beside my favorite boy. He’s growing up so fast.
Unable to move, I stand there and take it all in. Overwhelmed by my love for him, I just want to squeeze him! I hear myself say, “I never thought it was possible to love someone so much.”
My thoughts begin to wander. I try to imagine the type of person he will fall in love with someday. What their relationship will be like. Immediately I hear, “There’s no way that person could ever love you as much as I do!”
It’s in this moment that I realize somewhere deep inside of me there is a Monster-in-Law awakening. To be honest, I’m a bit surprised. Immediately I promise myself I won’t be one of those mothers that never thinks anyone is good enough for their son. Or at least if I do, I will hide it deep down inside me somewhere. I will vow now to love whoever he chooses to love. The most important thing is always his happiness in life.
Then I realize how crazy I sound. Love really makes us crazy!
Before I became a Mom, I had no concept of how my life would change. The depth in which I could feel love, and the intensity of the attachment that would develop between us. I think back to the day the doctor told me it was a boy. I regret the brief moment of disappointment that crossed my mind even though I had said all I wanted was a healthy baby. I just had no idea what I was going to do with a boy. Those feelings quickly faded into excitement. A new adventure that would rock me to my core.
Almost eight years later, I am in awe of how much he has taught me about life. There is just something so special about a mother/son bond. So pure, unconditional, and beautifully sweet. I often wonder how I got so lucky? This little boy made me a Mom. His mere existence made me complete.