No one tells you how it will feel. 
What will trigger it? 
The emptiness, the anger, the fear, or the why. 
Why doesn’t it happen to them? 
Why do they get to feel the joy? 
Why will they never know this pain? Why me? 

The waves, they wash over you and take you under. Drowning. 
Full of emotions. 
Emotions you wish you could share, but you don’t because they won’t be understood. 
It’s not okay to feel the anger, it’s not okay to wish the pain on them. 

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Lonely. 
Being on an island, reaching and trying to survive, crying out but no one hears you. 
No one. 
Not one person. 
You are alone.

Only you understand your internal soul. 

They can’t. 
They never will. Except . . . wait, someone does. 
That life was there, born of your eternal soul. 
Your body. 
Your blood. 
They lived. 
Their soul lived within yours, intertwined, never to be unwound. 
They are you and you are them. 
They will always live within you. 
You will carry their heart within you. 
Their heart beats within yours. 

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Trying to understand. 
Trying to survive. 
Faith? What is faith? 

How does one have faith after pain? 

They tell you that you are strong, they love you, everything will be okay in time. 
Some truth, but those souls will never be unwound. 
You are not the same. 
You are not okay. 
Your body will heal because she is magical and strong, but your heart, empty. 
Empty but also full. 
So much love. 
So many hearts beating together as one. 
Five hearts, yours and all of theirs beating stronger. 

Strength. 
Strength to share. 
Strength to guide. 
Strength to love.

Originally published on All Poetry