Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

No one tells you how it will feel. 
What will trigger it? 
The emptiness, the anger, the fear, or the why. 
Why doesn’t it happen to them? 
Why do they get to feel the joy? 
Why will they never know this pain? Why me? 

The waves, they wash over you and take you under. Drowning. 
Full of emotions. 
Emotions you wish you could share, but you don’t because they won’t be understood. 
It’s not okay to feel the anger, it’s not okay to wish the pain on them. 

RELATED: 5 Things to Say to a Woman After a Miscarriage

Being on an island, reaching and trying to survive, crying out but no one hears you. 
No one. 
Not one person. 
You are alone.

Only you understand your internal soul. 

They can’t. 
They never will. Except . . . wait, someone does. 
That life was there, born of your eternal soul. 
Your body. 
Your blood. 
They lived. 
Their soul lived within yours, intertwined, never to be unwound. 
They are you and you are them. 
They will always live within you. 
You will carry their heart within you. 
Their heart beats within yours. 

RELATED: A Mother’s Love Can’t Be Measured In Weeks

Trying to understand. 
Trying to survive. 
Faith? What is faith? 

How does one have faith after pain? 

They tell you that you are strong, they love you, everything will be okay in time. 
Some truth, but those souls will never be unwound. 
You are not the same. 
You are not okay. 
Your body will heal because she is magical and strong, but your heart, empty. 
Empty but also full. 
So much love. 
So many hearts beating together as one. 
Five hearts, yours and all of theirs beating stronger. 

Strength to share. 
Strength to guide. 
Strength to love.

Originally published on All Poetry

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

To the Woman I Was When Miscarriage Stole My Innocence

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman sad on sofa

To the woman I was once after pregnancy loss, I’ll never forget the day we met—even though an entire decade has since passed. You were wrapped up on the couch in a tan Sherpa blanket you received at a secret Santa gift exchange that happened just days before—a party you attended when you were still pregnant with both baby and hope. The night it was gifted to you, you envisioned cold nights wrapped up warm while rocking your baby to sleep or nursing her at your breast. The soft, pillowy fabric on one side and smooth, faux velvet on the...

Keep Reading

10 Gift Ideas To Support a Friend Through Miscarriage

In: Friendship, Grief, Loss
Friend hugging sad friend

Most of us know someone who has been touched by miscarriage. Maybe it’s a friend, a family member, or you have gone through this yourself. Current statistics show that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.  My husband and I, as many of you reading this, are 1 in 4. In 2018, at just shy of 20 weeks of pregnancy, we unexpectedly lost our son, Josiah. While extremely difficult as we were processing through our grief, we were overwhelmed by the love and support of friends and family throughout that time. Each person showed their love and support in their...

Keep Reading

Maybe I’m Just a Bad Miscarriage Mom

In: Loss, Motherhood
Woman looking out window

“Maybe I’m just a bad miscarriage mom,” I whispered to my husband lying in bed one night. We were at the end of a miscarriage and he had asked me how I was doing. My sincere response was OK. Not the OK on the outside but crumbling inside kind of OK. It was the not great but not horrible OK kind of OK.  But I felt guilty being OK because it didn’t sound like what a miscarriage mom should say.  I’ve had four miscarriages. The first was an ectopic pregnancy discovered before it threatened my health and life. Numbers two...

Keep Reading