Before we tried to conceive our little prince we spent some time as a married couple. Getting to know each other, getting used to the commitment of marriage & most of all traveling and enjoying “us” time. We knew that when I got pregnant our whole lives would change. Of course, everyone will tell you this. I heard it 100 times before we even announced we were going to start trying for a baby. Now that we are parents this for sure hits home for me.
For the past three-and-a-half years, I have had the greatest blessing of all in my arms. My son is such a gift and I am forever grateful to God and to my husband for allowing me to be his mom. I get to stay home with him full-time which is an even greater blessing. I have also experienced some other things like less time to cook and clean, less time for my husband and me to talk about our day or sit down for a quiet dinner, fewer days for working out and for sure less sleep.
When you become parents, your focus shifts; your priorities shift and your life becomes a melting pot of spontaneous adventures. Being parents has been such a reward for us, and we look at each other daily in awe that we made and are raising a tiny human. (And that he’s so handsome.)
But, here’s the deal—and the controversy. We believe and back it up with the Bible that my husband is the ruler of our home, the only higher to him is the Lord. Under him is me, I am submissive to him and he guards, protects, and loves me. Under me is our child. We are to raise, love, and guide him. Our marriage comes FIRST. Yep, that’s right—first! It is a Biblical belief we hold; we want to show our son an example of two people who after many years will still date, love, obsess, kiss, and care for one another. We want to be happy parents. To love each other and therefore love him 100 times more. Because this is what we believe, these things will happen:
1. We will have date nights often without our son.
2. Our son will have a caregiver for times when we need one.
3. Our son will sleep in his own room (and sometimes get sleep over parties with Mom and Dad).
4. We will discipline our son together and will not contradict each other in his presence.
5. We will always pray and strive to be the parents he needs and try to be the best examples for him on how to treat his future spouse.
Our son is a product of our commitment to marriage. I married my husband, not my son. When he grows up and leaves the house, my commitment to my husband still remains and we will still be home with each other honoring that commitment.
So, do we love our son? Duh! We are obsessed!
But . . .
This does mean our marriage takes priority. Some days we want to take time out and re-focus on our marriage, our feelings, his job, my fitness, my writing, any and everything about us as individuals and as a ONE unit couple. To do so, we are blessed with people who help take care of him so we can accomplish these things.
If we are not happy, healthy, rested, and on the same page with each other, we cannot set a good example for our son and that is what we are called to do as parents.
So, do you think we are odd parents? Maybe you do . . . but we are relaxed, happy, and caring parents and above all we are following our hearts and our ultimate judge, the Lord. We are better to and for each other because of it.