I didn’t start out this way.
At first, I was honest. I was comfortable in my skin because no one told me differently. I laughed easily, cried when I hurt, and happily played with friends, never once comparing myself to others. In fact, I was totally oblivious to the world around me.
And then I turned 13.
All of a sudden, I realized there were cliques, clothes, and mean girls who said mean things. There were boys who wrote notes to cute girls, parties to go to, grades to make, and sports to play.
At best, I was average in most of these areas. I was a decent student, but I wore glasses and braces for many years.
And sports? That was a dumpster fire. I was usually last to get picked when dividing teams. In ninth grade, I literally tripped on the basketball court and broke my ankle. And that’s when it started.
I started lying to myself because I didn’t measure up.
Or so I thought. That quiet voice inside my head told me I wasn’t as pretty as my friends, athletic enough, smart enough, or popular enough. I wasn’t enough.
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I never told anyone about my lying problem—it was a big secret I kept to myself. No one ever had to know what kind of destructive things I repeated over and over in my head or the shame I felt for believing them.
On the outside, I looked confident, smart, Christian, and put together. In fact, I was a model child. My friends hated being compared to me. (I was a preacher’s kid.)
Over the years, the voice inside my head told me more and more lies until it turned into a tape that played non-stop. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized those words were sabotaging everything good in my life.
It took a while, but I reprogrammed my brain using scripture. I put pertinent verses on notecards and read them daily for months until I started believing the truth. By God’s grace, that one thing changed my life.
I finally believed what God said about me.
Not too long ago, I started wondering if anyone else struggled with the same issue–lying to themselves. So, I got brave and asked people on my personal Facebook to tell me the lies they had believed about themselves in the past or even now. To my surprise, I got a huge response.
Here are some of their comments:
“I am not a good enough wife because I don’t cook enough, clean enough, study the Bible enough, work out enough, serve enough, not bubbly enough, etc. I believe I have to check some list of unachievable requirements in order to be considered a good Christian . . .”
“Lie number one, love is tied to physical appearance. Lie number two, keeping struggles to myself protects my family from being affected.”
“I have foolishly believed that feeling loved was connected to what I do for others. I MUST please them in order for them to have a relationship with me.”
“The way women are made to feel subordinate to men, like our voices and opinions don’t hold the same weight for starters.”
“I continue to struggle with the lie that I fail in all my various relationships if I say no to someone. It’s difficult to say no to your spouse, parent, children, siblings, friends, and church family when they need help . . .”
“Fat all my life, need a nose and chin job, too tall, feet too big . . . battled body dysmorphic disorder, low self-worth, shame, guilt all my life.”
“That I matter less because I am a housewife and don’t work outside the home…”
Wow. These were the same things I have told myself over the years. Satan is so unoriginal. He’s using the same script on all of us. What’s more, it’s working.
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What was even more shocking is that the people who were writing these things were not strangers, they were my friends and my family. I went to school with some of these people 30 years ago. I never knew.
We do such a good job hiding the lies. And that is why they keep perpetuating because they stay in the dark.
It’s time to disinfect our toxic words with light and truth.
The truth is you are lavishly loved. You are uniquely gifted for a purpose. Most of all, God has a good plan for your life.
What are you believing that is the opposite of His love for you?
Today is the day. It’s time to start actively reprogramming your brain with the truth. God’s truth.
And dump the stupid script Satan has deceived you with all these years because he is the liar. Not you.