Our fall favorites are here! 🍂


How to Avoid and Survive the Lice Apocalypse

  1. Don’t hug anyone, ever.
  2. That includes cuddles.
  3. Do NOT rest your head on anything anyone else’s head may have ever rested on.
  4. Don’t share hats.
  5. Wash everything, all the time. EVERYTHING.
  6. Take a nit comb through your own hair, and each member of your family’s daily.
  7. Whenever someone comes over, insist on checking their head like the monkeys at the zoo, before you allow them entrance.
  8. Ignore all the above, unless you want to be sad, lonely and miserable forever. Plus, you’ll probably get infected anyway.

It was early in the afternoon. The sides of my head, right above my ears, and the back of my neck were terribly itchy. This had been going on for several days. I tend to have a dry scalp, so I figured this was the problem. No matter how many showers I took, it didn’t get any better. I’d never had lice before, and figured lice was something only dirty people who never showered got. But the itching got more intense with every hour . . . and I wondered.

I went to the store, and bought a nit comb. I started where the itch was the worst, put it over my sink, and took a good look. It you have ever had lice before, you will know what a disturbing experience it is to see those little bugs wriggling around like, “Hey, who cut off the food source? I need me some more yummy human blood.” And the eggs, oh . . . the eggs. And did you know that they can spread to your eyebrows?


I spent the next hour frantically combing through my hair, with a surprising sense of satisfaction each time I got another one of those mini blood-suckers. “You shall not live! Die! Die! Die!” Times like these put the pacifist part of myself to the test, which I clearly failed.

As I combed, I thought about how judgmental I had been about people who got lice, and how very wrong I was. Stupid judgmental karma kicked me in the booty, big time.

I then said a prayer to the karma gods to please spare my children, and my husband, but it was too late. When my kids got home from school, and my husband got home from work, a quick comb-through revealed my biggest fears. We were all infected. Each louse was a sign of hugs shared, and heads cuddled close together. Dang it, why did we have to be such a freaking loving family?

To kill the lice, and get rid of the nits (aka the eggs), here are the best options I found after a thorough, hours-long Google search.

  1. Buy some lice killer which you can find online or the grocery store, there are many options here.
  2. Douse your hair with mayo, and leave it on for at least 8 hours.
  3. Shave your head

You still must pick all the nits out with the nit comb, though. The kids and I opted for the mayo helmet, and were excited at the prospect of no more lice, and shiny hair. (Note: Our hair did not turn out shiny, unless you would describe the oily hair of Professor Snape as shiny). We lathered the mayo on super thick, followed by a thorough Saran wrap head-wrap, and added the finishing touch: a shower cap. It was super cute. Fair warning though, if it is at all warm, the mayo tends to drip and dribble down your face, your neck, and generally make you feel as though someone is drooling on you. And the smell . . . it lasts for days of shampooing multiple times a day. Also, it should be noted, Google will tell you it may be dangerous if you do this while you sleep, because you might get food poisoning from the mayo drool.

It took a while after the treatment to have the stomach for eating mayonnaise again, but eventually it returned, and I vowed that if there was a next time, I would use the lice killer. I also decided to buy like four bottles of the stuff in advance. If the lice apocalypse ever happens, I am prepared, friends.

Now, over a year later, each time I get an itch on my head, I run for the nit comb. Not healthy, I know. My daughter will hear the tell-tail zing of the nit comb from the other room, and laugh. “Again? Mom, you’re obsessed. You do not have lice.” Hey, better safe than sorry. 

The moral of this story? Don’t be like Katie, and watch out for that judgmental karma before it bites you in the scalp.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now


Katie-Rose is a wife, mother, livestock manager and writer. Her goal above all, is to live with intention. She loves a good laugh. She loves a good cry too, but can usually only manage it when she is beyond furious. On any given day you might find her chasing chickens, loving on her kids (or pulling her own hair out), working on her writing, and even sometimes, wallowing about what she is going to do with her life. You can find her at www.stepsforgrace.com and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/StepsforGrace.

Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s www.herviewfromhome.com

Do you remember that day in the fifth grade when the boys and girls were separated for the “Sexuality and Development” talk? Some nice old lady health teacher came into your room and gave you some straight talk about how the next few years were going to go for you. It was awkward and shocking and you knew your childhood would never be the same. When you hit your mid-thirties, there should be some kind of Part Two to that conversation. All the ladies need to be rounded up, lead into a dimly lit classroom that smells vaguely of pencil...

Keep Reading

How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 Years

In: Humor, Relationships
How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 years www.herviewfromhome.com

In July, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary. We got married back in 2008 following my college graduation. I was only 22 at the time and him? Well, he was all good-looking at the prime age of 30. There were may vocal skeptics who chimed in, unasked of course, to share with us their belief that we would “never last” and that it would “never work”. To them, I say, “You were wrong! Na-na, na-na, boo-boo!” Just kidding, of course; I don’t talk like that. I am a respectable mother, not a four-year-old child and thank goodness...

Keep Reading

How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps

In: Humor, Kids
How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps www.herviewfromhome.com

It was time. It had to happen. We’d had a good run at pouring our children into bed at 11:30 p.m., sweaty, sticky, and exhausted from their head to their toes.  But bedtime had to get back to its (somewhat) regularly scheduled program.  When we had one kid, bedtime was a breeze.  Each night, we had a 10 step process. And the steps were simple. And very, very routine. 1. Toys away at 7:10 p.m. 2. Up the stairs at 7:15 p.m. 3. Change into pajamas 4. Brush teeth 5. Read two books 6. Say prayers 7. Light off 8....

Keep Reading

Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season www.herviewfromhome.com

Your husband has a mere headache, but he automatically now believes that he is going to be a chronic sufferer of cluster migraines. Or, maybe he got a small splinter, but he now believes that he is, without probability, going to end up with a staph infection. And, well, that cough of his (cough, cough) is going to have him laid up in bed for the next two days because he is just feeling so terrible. Sound familiar? It is all too familiar to me. What am I talking about? How men are babies when they get sick. Yes, I said it. I...

Keep Reading

Wanted: Imperfect Friends

In: Humor, Relationships
Wanted: Imperfect Friends www.herviewfromhome.com

Is anyone else as sick of the facade as I am?  Because on social media, everyone seems to have their crap together. But I sure don’t.  Scrolling through my feeds leaves me feeling inadequate and lonely, desperately lonely.  I know social media is only the high points. I know there is always more going on behind the scenes that I don’t know about. But at the end of the day, I just feel like there’s no one who would want to be friends with little, imperfect, insignificant, me.  So, I’m placing an ad.  Wanted: Imperfect Friends A kind, but quirky,...

Keep Reading

51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late

In: Humor, Motherhood
51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late www.herviewfromhome.com

I’ve got a question for all you moms out there: Have you ever been late? Yeah, me neither. Just kidding! We’ve all been there. We have an appointment, a meeting, an event, or just a playdate, and we want to be on time. In fact, it often looks and feels like we’re going to be on time. We’ve planned ahead. We have everything in order, and we are ready to head out the door. But then, without fail, the inevitable happens. Actually, it seems that a good number of inevitables happen. And we’re running late, again. Being on time is...

Keep Reading

5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun

In: Humor, Kids
5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun www.herviewfromhome.com

We know Mom loves us, don’t worry about that . . . but sometimes it seems like she’s just making up a whole pile of rules to ruin our fun. For instance, we’ll be in the middle of a huge independent project and she’ll come along, usually shriek, and be like, “You can’t use water guns to fill up the bathtub! And why are you shooting water into the toilet? Ewwwwww.” And just like that, we have to pack it all up and return to a clean orderly activity. A controlled activity. A zero fun activity. We’re not even sure...

Keep Reading

Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit?

In: Humor, Journal
Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit? www.herviewfromhome.com

While swaying in side-by-side hammocks, my daughter paid me the ultimate compliment: “It gives me enormous peace of mind while I’m working, to know you’re watching my son and that he’s in the most capable hands.” Then 10 seconds later while I was still orbiting in happy mode, she insulted me by offering to PAY me for this glorious privilege. We engaged in a little tit for tat tug of war with no clear winner. And the debate rages on, at least in our household. How about yours? To pay or not to pay the loving grandparents who bless us...

Keep Reading

Kids Today Will Never Know the Joy of a 90s Summer

In: Humor

So you want a good old fashioned 90s summer, huh? I don’t blame you. The 90s rocked! (Literally, thanks to Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder.) I’m not going to lie—I take slight offense to the use of “old fashioned” and “90s” in the same sentence, as I’m pretty sure the 90s were like 10 years ago, but I’ll still help you out. If you’re really doing this though, you’ll need to ditch some of your modern conveniences, like your phone. I know, I know, but it’s a requirement. You may bring a beeper or clunky flip-phone, but no internet allowed...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber

In: Humor, Kids
Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber www.herviewfromhome.com

Paid automotive transportation is pretty simple. You hop in the backseat of a cab, share the address where you are going and aren’t required to speak any longer until you arrive at your destination and pay the driver. The same primary rules apply to taking an Uber or Lyft.  The unwritten rules have been in place for some time. Your trade-off for taking paid transportation is a ride in the backseat, where you don’t have control over the music, the temperature of the car, the route the driver takes or how fast the trip takes, not even the amount of...

Keep Reading