This is a poem about a dream I had one night, where my boys, who both have passed this year, came and visited me.

As I laid my weary head, the thoughts of my children began to spread.

Thoughts of sorrow and lost dreams, thoughts of memories that could not be,
Until I closed my eyes and saw, the most beautiful scene I ever saw.

Nothing but light and color in the air, no remorse, worry, or care.
There in the distance, sat a bench at the peak of a hill;
I made my way and settled in, the view so wonderful, my words couldn’t speak enough.

My eyes began to wonder, until I saw, the greatest sight of all:
The rushing feet of a curly blond boy, followed by his green-eyed brother.
They ran to me and I couldn’t believe, my beautiful boys stood before me.
Both of you smiled as I held you tight, you were more glorious than I could’ve imagined

On each side, you both sat beside me, and we talked about your tales.
From running through the streets of gold, and riding on comet tails;
Playing tag with the angels, and painting yourselves with rainbows;
Dancing and never growing tired, able to sing amongst the greatest choir to your heart’s desire.

While listening I couldn’t help but smile, hearing their happy voices was worth all the while.

I told them both how glad I was, that their wish had come true.
They looked at each other and paused, then said, “Mom, that wasn’t it at all.”

“We love that we can run and laugh and sing, but that wasn’t what we asked for when we became free.

“When Jesus asked us what we’d like, we didn’t ask for voices, or even sight. All we ever wanted was a chance to take care of you like you took care of us.”

“Day in and day out, you struggled and kept marching forward. We felt your love pour out to us, even through your fears.

“Don’t feel bad or mourn our loss, for we finally get to return the love and care you so freely gave to us. We’ll always be looking out for you, through the pain and the tears.

“Our arms are wrapped around you forever, just as yours were, for worse or for better.

“All we ever wanted was for the roles to be reversed, for now we are your guardian angels and our hearts cover you in a harmonious verse.”

I cried and held you both so tight, my heart filled with joy, but soon, the morning began to outshine the night.

My fingers ran through their blond and dark brown hair, I had a peace that this wouldn’t be the last time I’d be here.

For I understood in that moment, you never really left, but you make yourselves present at the mention of your names.

So when my thoughts linger on them when it’s time to go to bed, with tears of happiness streaming down my face, I remember that place and what they said.

And if I listen close enough, I can even hear the flap of angelic wings as they surround me, their wondrous love ever so near.

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