Dear Best Friend,

We’ve been through so much together. Highs and lows, goods and bads. Hard times with stupid boys who broke our hearts, and good times with the guys who became our husbands. Each other’s weddings, each other’s college graduations, all the big moments.

But then I had a baby and our friendship changed. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still my best friend. And honestly we’re closer now than we have ever been. But for 9 months of pregnancy and now almost 24 months of motherhood, we couldn’t relate on the biggest thing in my life.

But now, finally, after months of trying  & waiting, you’re going to have a baby soon! I’m so excited for you I could just dance with joy. I can’t wait to share motherhood with you and experience all of these moments together.

But I feel its only fair if I warn you about some things. So here we go…

Your life is going to change. “Yep,” you’re saying, “I know that.” But seriously. You know your life is going to change, but you can’t even come close to comprehending it. No longer will your life be yours. Your schedule will be based around feeding and nap times, and your house will no longer be picture perfect.

You’re going to become so immune to the grossest of things. Spit up, throw up, poop & pee. Won’t even phase you. You will regularly walk around with food somewhere on your clothes, questioning if you brushed your teeth that day. Normal.

And its not just your life that’s going to change, it’s you too. Once you have a baby, you yourself will change. From now on when you watch the news and see the horrible things going on in the world you won’t feel so disconnected from it. Instead, you’ll worry about protecting that sweet bundle of joy. Could those world terrors meet your front door?

The things you find important will change. In fact, the entire way you see the world might change. You will start seeing the world through the eyes of a child and wondering what types of things are influencing your baby. Are the people you spend your time around the people you want your child to be like and look up to? Are you a person you want your child to look up to?

You’re going to question yourself. In ways you never thought possible. There will be days when you are just sure that you have no clue what you’re doing, you’re failing your child, they would be better off without you, and you should never have been allowed to be a mother. Sounds dark, I know, but you will have these days. You will face these demons.

And the truth is that you will have days when you fail. You will have days when no matter how much you work on being the kind, patient, graceful mom, you won’t be. You will lose your cool and be the mean mom. Your kid might cry. You’ll definitely cry. But you know what? The next morning when your kiddo wakes up for the day they will meet you with a big smile and you will realize you get a whole new chance to do it the right way. Kids are pretty forgiving.

You’re going to have instincts kick in that you never knew were possible. Just the other day you told me how scared you are to be a mom because you can barely keep a plant alive, how will you keep a baby alive? The thing is—you’re a mom. You’ll know what to do. And when you truly don’t know? You’ll have me. And so many others who love you.

Plus, when all else fails, there’s always wine.

Speaking of wine, stock up now. Also, stock up on coffee. I know, breastfeeding and wine/coffee do not mix. Trust me. Stock up anyway. Enough said.

The biggest thing I want to warn you about though is the love. Every pregnant mom knows she’s going to love her baby, but has no clue how overwhelming that love can be. The first time I held my sweet baby girl in my arms I came to know a love that I didn’t know existed. An all-consuming love that will fill your every moment. It was the first time in my life I got a glimpse of just how greatly Christ loves us. That sweet little baby will fill your heart in spaces that you didn’t know existed and you would do absolutely anything for them.

To my best friend, I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. There’s not a doubt in my mind. You’re going to fail, you’re going to succeed. You’re going to cry tears of exhaustion and joy and love and madness. And I’m honored to share these moments with you.