Our Biggest Sale of the Year is Here!🎄 ➔

 

Being a stay-at-home mom can be a pretty lonely job. It’s a job we are incredibly lucky to have—but still, a lonely one. Until you meet your crew. Your tribe. The women who just get it. The women who understand what it’s like to be home with a baby all day, every day.

These women change everything. They laugh with you, cry with you, and are there for everything in between. They are key players in the village that is raising your children.

And so, I thank you, dear mommy friends. You are selfless, empathetic, and loving. You’ve saved me more times than I can count.

When you hear frustration or defeat in my voice, you ask me how things are going. We laugh, then cry together over tantrums and diaper blowouts in the grocery store because sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom is really hard.

When I found out I was pregnant, you were the first person I confided in.

You brought me flowers and kept my secret because I was only a few weeks along. When the doctor couldn’t find our baby’s heartbeat and told us the pregnancy wasn’t viable, you encouraged me to grieve and promised time would help put me back together. You didn’t tell me it wasn’t meant to be, or remind me how lucky I was to already have a child.

While my husband did his best to be supportive, you were the one who really got me through it. When my body didn’t respond to the miscarriage, and the morning sickness and exhaustion continued for weeks, you were there to help. You nodded your head and listened when I tried to explain the fog I was stuck in. You promised over and over again the sadness would lift. And you were right.

You checked in again and again to see how I was doing, because you know emotional scars take longer to heal than physical ones.

When Penny and I were both sick this winter, you brought us breakfast and coffee to get through the sleepless nights. You’ve been there. You know what it’s like, and how draining it can be. You genuinely want to help when I’m down.

Instead of judging me for wearing three-day-old leggings with a banana stain on them, you tell me your leggings haven’t been washed in a week, and we clink our coffee cups together in solidarity.

You pushed me to write professionally, because you know it makes me happy and helps me maintain an identity other than “mommy”.

Watching you with your kids helps me to be a better parent, and also a better wife. We celebrate each other’s anniversaries and talk through the arguments we have with our husbands. We share tricks to get our babies to eat, and gush over how much we love our kids. You are just as consumed with diapers and spit up and breastfeeding and formula and concerns about percentiles and weight gain as I am.

We’ve shared decisions both big and small, from choosing Halloween costumes to deciding where our kids will go to preschool. Together we’ve endured ear infections, colds, failed vision and hearing tests, new babies, infant helmets, stomach flu, taking pets home, saying goodbye to loved ones, and so much more.

You’ve seen me at my best and at my worst. We’ve only known each other for a relatively short period of time, but you understand me better than some of my lifelong friends. 

I realize as our kids get older they might go their own separate ways, and our friendship might be harder to maintain. I will always appreciate you for your sisterhood. Whether our bond is temporary or permanent, it’s pretty perfect for the moment.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Lilly Holland

I'm a writer and stay-at-home mom to Penny, 15 months. Prior to spending my days with my daughter I was an elementary school teacher. After teaching, writing and being a mother became my full-time job and I haven't looked back since. Follow me on my website or Twitter

When You Feel Like You’re Failing, Know You’re Not Alone

In: Motherhood
Tired woman sitting in messy child's bedroom

Dear parent, you are going to fail. You are going to fail over and over again while parenting. I don’t care if you have nine children or one. I don’t care if you are a step-parent, an adoptive parent, or anything in between—you are going to fail. Over and over again. But the great thing about kids is God made them so resilient and forgiving, so He could show us grace on earth.  I have forgotten to send the paperwork to the school. I have forgotten about events and practices for the kids.  RELATED: I May Fail, But I’ll Go...

Keep Reading

Our Nanny Is a Special Part of Our Family

In: Motherhood
Family with nanny, color photo

The saying is “it takes a village,” and I didn’t know how true this would ring until I had children of my own. Within ours, I anticipated family, friends, the church, and various members of the community. What I never anticipated was the special role our nanny would fill within our family. As working moms, leaving our kids in someone else’s care is hard, no matter the circumstances. We wonder if they’ll miss us and whether their day will still feel full in spite of our absence.  Ever since we brought our nanny into the family, I’ve never had to...

Keep Reading

Maybe Motherhood Is a Chance to Begin Again

In: Motherhood

It’s a funny thing when you have your own children, only then do you start to see yourself in such a way that you’ve never seen before. Terrifying yet beautiful. Before you become a parent, you have this vision of how you swear you will parent. It may be an exact replica of how you were parented or may be completely different. The only guarantee is that you don’t actually know until you become a parent. Some days you hear yourself and you sound just like your mother, your father, your grandmother, your aunt, or anyone who was around long...

Keep Reading

Healing and a Horse Named Chadwick

In: Motherhood
Woman with horse, black-and-white photo

I am by no means a horsewoman. I am a regular person lucky enough to have had an extraordinary experience with a horse. My daughter asked to ride horses from the time she could talk. Having no horse experience myself, in the fall of 2019, I found a barn willing to give pony lessons to a small child. There was something waiting for me at the barn too . . . I just didn’t know it yet. I can’t remember when Chadwick started watching us from the fence. One day he was just there . . . and every day...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Growth Is Tangible, and When It Is You Hold On Tight

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom putting bike helmet on child

I never expected my sign to come in the form of a plastic bag. As a parent, you’re told over and over how fast it all goes, to cherish these times because they’re gone in a blink. You see the gradual changes in your kids as they move through milestones. One day, they can hold their own spoon. They begin stringing words into sentences. Their ages are counted in years and no longer months. You watch these things happen every day, but I didn’t realize some transitions would come in tangible ways, like a grocery bag filled with wet swim...

Keep Reading

Some Nights They Need You a Little More

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sleeping, color photo

Some nights they need you a little more, mama. Because of the bad dreams or the bogeyman they are adamant is under the bed. Because firefighter daddy’s schedule leaves him missing goodnight tuck-ins and bedtime stories several times a week, sometimes leaving them a little needier and more emotional. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. RELATED: I’ll Lay With You As Long As You Need, My Child Because they are sick. Because they feel safe in your presence. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. It’s not always easy. It’s not always (okay, hardly ever)...

Keep Reading

Will My Child Be Like I Was As a Teen?

In: Motherhood, Teen
Woman holding baby, color photo

The day my son turned 15, I was overcome by fear and anxiety. An impending doom like a little, black, raincloud hung over my head as I wondered . . . will he be like me as a teenager? The year that led up to his 15th birthday, I rewatched Dawson’s Creek. Perhaps that’s where I went wrong. I binge-watched the ’90s teen drama of these TV characters who grew up alongside me, but this time through the eyes of an adult—a mom—and not the eyes of a teenager. Episode after episode features teens talking about sex, having sex, drinking,...

Keep Reading

I’m Giving My Daughter Space To Define Her Adoption

In: Motherhood
Young girl and her mom at pumpkin patch, color photo

I cracked a joke, and as I walked from the table, I heard her mutter to her friends, “Good thing I’m adopted!” I forced myself to continue moving and tried to hide my rapidly blushing cheeks. I volunteer at my daughter’s school when I can. Today I had library duty, and it’s an assignment I love. I am an avid reader, and I like being surrounded by so many words. I also get to see the kids interact with each other and the librarian. Lastly, it’s an hour commitment so I can be a mom but also still be me....

Keep Reading

Where Have All the Puppet Shows Gone?

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Two children behind blanket with puppets, color photo

I remember the puppet shows so vividly.  The stage curtain was always the same old, red-checked, woolen blanket strung roughly between two chairs and tied off with rope.  As their mama, I was of course their captive audience of one. Cheering and clapping enthusiastically after each performance. The plays always felt like they were a little too long, perhaps deliberately dragged out toward the final act, just to keep my attention.  At the time, I mistakenly thought those cute, slightly annoying puppet shows would last forever.  Fast forward 25 years and those puppet shows have well and truly gone. There are...

Keep Reading

Sweet Babies, I’ll Be There

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children lying in bed, color photo

When your world is calm and peaceful, I’ll be there. When your world is chaotic like an ice cream shop on the hottest day of summer, I’ll be there. When you need a Band-Aid applied and a boo-boo kissed, I’ll be there. When you want to perform in your Frozen microphone like you’re performing for a crowd of 20,000 people, I’ll be there. When you feel lost and alone, I’ll be there. When you feel you have nowhere to go, I’ll be there. RELATED: I Will Always Be There When You Need Me, My Son When you need a pep...

Keep Reading